Murphy… Bowen Yang
Janet… Chloe Fineman
Reynold… Molly Kearney
Daniel… Sarah Sherman
Benson… Quinta Brunson
Heather… Heather Gardner
Murphy: So Janet, how’s your first month here been?
Janet: Oh, it’s been great. I’m so happy to be working here.
Reynold: Well, we’re lucky to have you.
Janet: But I don’t want to make this a big deal. I think Daniels has been kind of weird with me.
Murphy: Oh, Daniel is our top salesman, really? He’s always been cool to me.
Janet: You’re right. It’s probably nothing. Forget I said anything.
Daniel: Hey, Murphy. How’re ya? How are the kids?
Murphy: They’re good, Daniel. Just sent my eldest off to Penn State.
Daniel: oh gosh, that must be hard on the old bank account. [laughing] And Reynold, we’e hitting the links later on what, buddy?
Reynold: Five on the dot, Daniel.
Daniel: Looking forward to it. And Simmons, [suddenly starts acting weird] Big butt. Whoo! Setting off the penis alarm. [suddenly acting normal] And Murphy, you got that reported to me by Monday or what?
Murphy: Absolutely Daniel.
Daniel: Alright, that’s great. Oh and before I forget guys, we got a company wide Zoom meeting at six where I’ll be zooming in on those boobies. Computer enhance, engaging X ray vision. It said we have nipples. And Murphy, listen, that Turner file’s not gonna file itself, alright? See you guys.
Janet: You guys saw that, right?
Murphy: Saw what?
Janet: Daniels when he talks to me, he did like an impression of a sex computer.
Murphy: I thought he was just being goofy. But hey, I’m old school.
Reynold: You know, if you’re having a problem with him, you can always talk to Benson.
Janet: Benson? Really?
Murphy: Oh, yeah, totally. He’s been here forever. He just gets it out. Speak of the devil.
Benson: Well, lookie here, all of my favorite people?
Reynold: How are you?
Benson: Guys, I want to thank you again for showing up to my granddaughter’s food drive. It meant the world.
Reynold: Anything for you, Benson.
Benson: We fed 500 families in need because of you guys. I mean, Simmons. I know it meant the world to my granddaughter that you brought those.
Janet: Those what?
Benson: Well, those big old buttered yams. Ooh. What I would to jump off a diving board and cannonball and do that cleavage. Help! I’m drowning, but don’t save me. I want to die in there. All right, gang. If you need anything, anything at all, please just give me a call. I’d do anything for you guys. I’d even adopt those gorgeous two twins and raise them in a hotel like Zach and Cody. Alright, duty calls. I’ll catch you guys later.
Reynold: Love you, man.
Janet: Okay, you guys notice that right?
Reynold: I mean, I want to say yes so you don’t feel crazy, but I didn’t notice anything.
Murphy: Oh, can we make something out of nothing today?
Janet: This is insane.
Heather: Janet. Hey, I’m Heather from HR. I heard you down the hall. And if anyone here has been making you uncomfortable, we will handle it right now in a company wide meeting.
Janet: Thank you.
Heather: But first we have a musical performance from the penis brothers.[Benson and Daniel walk in dancing]
Daniel: Come on, ya’all.
Benson: This one goes out to our two favorite ladies.
Daniel: Simmons, ya’ll.
Murphy: Oh my god, the penis brothers!
Heather: The moment you’ve all been waiting for, the brothers bongo boob experience.[Benson and Daniel are hitting on Janet’s breasts like they’re bongo]
Janet: How is that making that sound?
Daniel: Hey Murphy, you got that file for me or what?
Murphy: I do, Daniel. By the way, I got an email from corporate and you’re both fired.
Benson and Daniel: Makes sense.