Jason Mamoa Mo-Monologue | Season 44 Episode 8

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, Jason Momoa.

[Jason Momoa comes in the stage from the door. He walks in, jumps on the stage. He is bare feet.

Jason Momoa: Thank you very much, thank you very much. I’m so muscular to be hosting “Saturday Night Live”, huge! It’s such an honor to be on this stage. If you don’t know, I am an ‘SNL’ super nerd, dork. I’ve been watching this my whole entire life. [Applause and cheers]

And there was a time when I actually wanted to quick acting, I wanted to move to New York and try to get cast on ‘SNL’. Fortunately, I got sidetracked by a massively successful career, and I’m playing “Aquaman”. [Applause and cheers]

But now I’m here! And I’m hosting. I mean, this is probably one of the greatest moments of my life, right after having beautiful kids and marrying my red hot smoking wife, Lisa Bonet. Come on, Jase, hold it together. If you cry, it will rain in Hawaii. You know what, if it’s okay, I’m just going to take a second, savor this moment. Eli, if you can play that song I wrote.

[The back of the stage where the band play gets dark. Jason sits down on his knee and smiles as the band plays this song]

“This is my moment, I’m taking into
This is m moment, I’m the strongest man in the world”

[Jason stands]

Okay, great. Thanks, bud. This weekend has been amazing. I was so nervous to meet the cast. But for some reason, they’ve been asking, you know, they’re a little weird.

[Aidy Bryant comes in the stage]

Aidy Bryant: Oh hi, Jason!

Jason Momoa: Hi, Aidy.

Aidy Bryant: Would you mind opening this jar while looking at me directly in the eyes?

Jason Momoa: Sure.

[Jason opens the jar looking at Aidy]

Aidy Bryant: Oh, that’s going to be a big thing. I love you, best day of my life. Thanks you. Bye.

[Kenan Thompson, Leslie Jones and Chris Redd comes to the stage dressed up funky]

Leslie Jones: Alright. We got to impress.

Jason Momoa: Oh, wow, you guys look crazy. Is this for a sketch?

Leslie Jones: I’ll get to that. Let me ask you something, does “Aquaman” have a theme song?

Jason Momoa: I mean, not really. There’s music in the movie but it’s not really a theme.

Leslie Jones: Okay. Alright.

Kenan Thompson: Cool, cool.

Leslie Jones: We had an idea. You ever heard of “Aqua Boogie’ by Parliament Funkadelic?

Jason Momoa: Not really.

Chris Redd: You know, like George Clinton? P-Funk?

Jason Momoa: Nope.

Kenan Thompson: Aqua Boogie, from the 1978 album “Motor Booty Affair”?

Jason Momoa: Sorry, I never heard of it.

Chris Redd, Leslie Jones and Kenan Thompson: What? [Acting surprised]

Leslie Jones: It’s perfect for “Aquaman”. Check this out.

[Band starts playing music.Chris Redd, Leslie Jones and Kenan Thompson start dancing and singing]

Aqua boogie baby,
Never learned to swim

Underwater boogie baby,
Can’t catch the rhythm of the stroke

Aqua boogie baby,
Why should I hold my breath

Underwater boogie baby,
Feelin’ that I might choke

Jason Momoa: Whao, hold on, hold on.

Leslie Jones: So, what did you think of that, man?

Jason Momoa: Well, I mean it’s a cool song but did you just say never learnt how to swim?

Leslie Jones: I did. I sure did.

Kenan Thompson: Yeah, that’s how the song goes. You can check the lyrics if you need to.

Jason Momoa: So it’s a song about someone who can’t swim?

Leslie Jones: Absolutely.

Kenan Thompson: No doubt. No doubt.

Jason Momoa: Well, I’m Aquaman. His whole thing is he can swim really well.

Chris Redd, Leslie Jones and Kenan Thompson: Oh! [Realizing about the movie theme]

Leslie Jones: Yeah man, but this is about the feeling man! You got to give it a try. You know what I’m saying? Just read what’s on the cue card!

Kenan Thompson: Yeah, come on, man.

Leslie Jones: Come on, man.

Jason Momoa: Okay.

Kenan Thompson:  Put that glass in, dog.

Psycho alpha disco beta bio aqua do loop

Jason Momoa: The motion picture’s underwater, starring most of you-loops

Everybody: Aqua boogie baby,
Never learned to swim

Underwater boogie baby,
Can’t catch the rhythm of the stroke

Aqua boogie baby,

Jason Momoa: Why should I hold my breath

Everybody: Underwater boogie baby,
Feelin’ that I might choke

Psycho alpha disco beta bio aqua do loop

Jason Momoa: We got a great show for you tonight! Mumford and Sons is here. Stick around, man, we’ll be right back.

Gemma Sleigh Ride | Season 44 Episode Episode 8

Gene… Kenan Thompson

Leslie Jones

Kyle Mooney

Jason Momoa

Gemma… Cecily Strong

Sleigh man… Mikey Day

[Starts with a sign board ‘Free Winter Sleigh Ride’]

Leslie Jones: This is so romantic. [Cut to Sleigh on the snow. There’s Sleigh man, Leslie and Gene] What a great idea, Gene. A winter sleigh ride. [Cut to Leslie and Gene] It would be a great place to propose to somebody.

Gene: Oh, well. You’re hilarious. That’s why I’m really starting to like you.

Leslie Jones: Well, I love you, and I’m ready.

Speaker 3: [Cut to Sleigh on the snow.] Oh, honey, look, this sleigh has a room.

Kyle Mooney: After you, my lady, please.

Jason Momoa: [Jason and Cecily comes in] Oh, my god! Gene, are you jerking me [Cut to Jason and Cecily] off right now? Is that you?

Leslie Jones: [Cut to Leslie and Gene] Who is that Gene?

Gene: I have no idea.

Jason Momoa: [Cut to Jason and Cecily] Baby, look that’s Gene. Man, I’m blown seeing you! Come on, get out of here! [Jason pulls other passengers out]

Kyle Mooney: Excuse me, we waited an hour in line. You’re a jerk, sir!

Speaker 3: Wow, I wish that was the first time that happened. [Jason and Cecily gets in the sleigh]

Gemma: Hi, I’m Gemma. Nice to meet you. Happy Christmas and all that.

Jason Momoa: Hey, don’t talk like that when I’m wearing these jeans, they’re too tight for that accent. You know what I’m saying Gene? [Cut to Leslie and Gene] Sleigh man, let’s go!

Sleigh Man: [Cut to everybody] Yup.

Gemma: Wee!

Gene: I’m sorry, who are you?

Gemma: I’m Gemma, I’m British. [Cut to Gemma and Jason] I got a brand new vagina today.

Leslie Jones: [Cut to Leslie and Gene] What? You got a new vagina today?

Gemma: [Cut to Gemma and Jason] Well, we did it in Thailand, flew in this morning. Whatever the time difference is, I guess I got it tomorrow.

Jason Momoa: Merry Christmas to me, Today or tomorrow. Right, Gene! We’re gonna rock! Thank you, Thailand.

Gemma: Don’t make me laugh, it will come loose.

Gene: [Cut to Leslie and Gene] I’m sorry, I’m going to say it again, how in the world do I know you?

Jason Momoa: [Cut to Gemma and Jason] Dude, it’s your boy. I carried you down from that zip line after you got too scared to go, remember that?

Gene: [Cut to Leslie and Gene] I wasn’t scared.

Jason Momoa: [Cut to Gemma and Jason] Well, you were crying and you were hanging on my back like a little koala.

Leslie Jones: [Cut to Leslie and Gene] That sounds so cute, Gene. I’d carry you like a koala if you wanted.

Gene: Oh, That’s nice.

Gemma: [Cut to Gemma and Jason] It’s nice to actually love your brother.

Leslie Jones: [Cut to Leslie and Gene] What? You think he’s my brother?

Gemma: [Cut to Gemma and Jason] Isn’t it sweet, babe?

Jason Momoa: Oh, my lord. That accent, that little tiny hand on my shoulder. Oh man. I’m going to take that blanket of yours because I’m building a Christmas tree over here. You know what I’m talking about? Your sister knows what I’m talking about.

Leslie Jones: [Cut to Leslie and Gene] I’m not his sister. I’m his fiancée.

Gene: No.

Leslie Jones: Well, practically speaking.

Gene: Let’s take it day by day.

Leslie Jones: You better not be wasting my time.

Gemma: [Cut to Gemma and Jason] You got to think about yourself first, you know. Your brother don’t own you. Just remember that. Girl power.

Jason Momoa: Speaking of girl power, my girl gives me that kind of power. [Cut to everybody. Jason starts to rock the sleigh] When the sleigh’s rocking don’t you come knocking. Am I right, Gene? Am I right?

Sleigh Man: Sir, please stop rocking the sleigh, it’s not safe and you’re spooking the horse, sir!

Gemma: Hey, don’t you look into my eyes. Don’t even look you look at my girl.

Sleigh Man: I’m actually asexual. Not that anyone ever cares or asks.

Gemma: Babe, I love your anger.

Jason Momoa: Oh my god, I almost forgot the best part. My girl’s a singer.

Gene: [Cut to Leslie and Gene] What?

Gemma: [Cut to Gemma and Jason] He said I’m a singer!

Jason Momoa: Gene, you and your sister’s ears are about to climax together. Her new Christmas album. It is dope, it’s all about hope. Do it, baby?

Gemma: [Gene starts to sing] Lights flashing, beat sounding us…[Jason starts dancing rocking the sleigh again] that’s when you see him… dancing in the corner… and now it’s knocking in the corner

Sleigh Man: Sir, you have to stop rocking the sleigh. The horses are being lifted off the ground. The hooves are in mid air.

Gemma: Hey, just like real reindeer do, right? They got their hooves up in the air, don’t they? ♪ POP, POP, POP, POP, POP, POP, POP

Gene: [Cut to Leslie and Gene] Alright, I can’t take anymore! Should we jump?

Jason Momoa: [Cut to Gemma and Jason] Yeah, let’s do it buddy. Gene, come on, let’s get ready. [Cut to everybody] Gene’s sister, let’s do it! One, two, sixty. [Jason jumps] WOO!

Gemma: Oh, he’s such a nug.

Gene: Can you sing me a song? Of course!

Leslie Jones and Gene: ♪We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas

Gemma: I know this song.

Leslie Jones and Gene and Gemma: And a Happy New Year.