Tag: Jingle

Jingle Pitch

Serena… Jenna Ortega

Mitchell… Mitchell Yang

Devon Walker

Chloe Fineman

Andrew Dismukes

James Austin Johnson

Serena: All right, troops. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Since breaking off from Donald’s Donalds Dominguez to form Donalds and Dominguez, we have not landed a single new client. You know why that is?

Devon: No.

Chloe: Not really.

Mitchell: It’s because Donald’s Donald’s Dominguez had a phone number that was easy to remember. And everybody in town knows their famous phone number jingle.

Serena: That’s right. We don’t have that. Mitchell, remind everyone of our number?

Mitchell: Our number is 1-672-555-0136.

Serena: What we need is to turn that number into a super catchy jingle

Chloe: But Serena there’s no way to create a catchy jingle with a number like that.

Serena: That’s where you’re wrong. My fellow partners, last Tuesday, Mitchell and I were at Luciano’s.

Mitchell: And yeah, I was drinking. No, I was getting tanked.

Serena: Mitchell got tanked at Luciano. But then this band got up on the stage and sang the catchiest pop funk hooks I had ever heard. Come on in guys.

[two guys walk in]

Andrew: Hey there.

James: Hello lawyers.

Andre: We are Soul Booth.

Serena: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Soul Booth. And they’re here to save us.

Andrew: Worked out a few demos for you.

James: Yeah, we heard you needed a pop funk hook that’ll stick on the mind leg grapevines.

Andrew: Maybe something like this. Here we go. Do you remember this one.

James: I do man.

Andrew: Ha-ha. Here we go. Come on.

[music playing]

Both: [singing] One.
Six-seven
Whoo!
Two.
Then three straight fives.
The next number is 0.
One.
Three.
And six.
Who you’re gonna call?
Who you’re gonna call?
Who you’re gonna call?
Donalds and Dominguez
Donalds and Dominguez

Serena: Guys. I’m sorry, I don’t think that’s gonna work for us.

Andrew: Uh-huh. And why is that?

Serena: It just doesn’t sound like what we heard at Luciano’s.

Andrew: Oh. You want that Luciano’s sound?

James: Yeah, you want it Luched?

Mitchell: Yes. This track should make me feel like I’m pegged up at Luch. Understood?

James: Loud and clear.

Andrew: Crystal.

Devon: Yeah, and the numbers should be closer together.

Chloe: Yeah, I think the numbers should be much closer together.

Andrew: Uh-huh. So it’ll be something like this. Ha-ha. You know this one?

James: I do, man.

Andrew: All right. Come on. Here we go. Here we go.

Both: 1-672-555-0136
Donalds and Dominguez

Serena: Guys, come on. That’s totally wrong. And you call that a Luched-up track?

Mitchell: I should feel five daiquiris deep posted u at Luch right now.

Serena: What is so hard about that?

Mitchell: What is so hard about writing a jingle that feels like I’m getting decked down in the back Luch? Ringing back to cut me off but then not barback with the glasses looking like Mayim Bialik that’s making the act up. What’s so hard about that?

Serena: Can you do that?

Andrew: Yes, ma’am.

James: Can do.

Devon: Okay. Yeah. And the number should be presented somewhat like a phone number.

Chloe: Or just anywhere near that would be great.

James: I think we might have just the thing.

Andrew: Absolutely. Let’s take a trip y’all. Everybody. I want to take you somewhere. Somewhere where there is no race, no religion. A little place we call home. But you may know as Luciano’s. Here we go. Here we go.

Both: 16,725,550,136

Andrew: One more time, that feels so good.

Both: 16,725,550,136

Andrew: So, what do you think?

Serena: Mitchell, did they do it? Is it Luci?

Mitchell: Serena, not only can I now perfectly recall the phone number of our law office, but more importantly, I feel absolutely ass-out, daked down, and looched up. My only question is how much?

Both: $10,000.

Mitchell: Less.

Both: 40 each.

Mitchell: Deal.

All: 16,725,550,136

Serial The Christmas Surprise

Sarah Kinik… Cecily Strong

Jennifer… Amy Adams

Chris… Kyle Mooney

David… Kenan Thompson

Dana… Kate McKinnon

Jingle… Jay Phroah

Adina Hernandez… Aidy Bryang

[Starts with clips of recording studio]

[Cut to Sarah Kinik getting near the mic]

Sarah Kinik narrating: I want you to think about things you can’t see. Rotation of the planets. Electricity. Gravity. Because we only see the results and not the process, should we come to the conclusion that it doesn’t exist? I’m Sarah Kinik. On December 25th 1999, a small boy awoken ball to our Maryland. [Cut to and old video of a boy opening his Christmas gifts] He went down to his living room and found a NERF End Strike Mega Magnus Blaster. It’s mouthful, I know, that’s the toy you want it. Toy had no tag, no receipt. As if it appeared out of thin air. The boy maintained the toy had been brought by magic by a mysterious man named Chris. But I had to ask myself, could Christ really had done this? And if so, how?

[Cut to SERIAL: One Story Told Week by Week video bumper.]

[Cut to Jennifer speaking like in documentaries.]

Jennifer: Toys just appear at our house. Not just this year. Every year.

Interviewer: And you’re not buying them?

Jennifer: No.

Sarah Kinik narrating: That’s Jennifer, the boy’s mother.

[Cut to video of Sarah Kinik visiting Jennifer’s house.]

She’s actually the one who contacted me about this story. She sides with her son saying that she wasn’t responsible for the gift. Like, Chris did it. That he snuck into her house in the middle of the night and just left things. She said she even has proof.

[Cut to Sarah Kinik and Jennifer in front of the chimney]

Jennifer: I left the cookies. And when I woke up, they were gone.

Sarah Kinik: And nobody followed up with you on this?

Jennifer: No.

Sarah Kinik narrating: For the past year, I’ve been talking to Chris. [Cut to Chris making toys] A thousand year old toy maker who lives up north. It should be noted that Chris is part of the population who identify themselves as Elves. Their minority in the United States often looked shifty, secretive. But I’ll get to that later. Chris says that he not only left the toy for the boy in Baltimore, but he leaves millions of toys for kids around the world. And he does it one night. I know, shocking, right?

[Cut to Sarah Kinik speaking on the phone]

Sarah Kinik: [on the phone] You know, it’s like, you said you hit every house. I mean, you understand that’s hard for people to swallow, you know what I mean?

Chris: [replying on the phone] Look, I don’t know how it works, you know? You’re either going to believe in me or not, but I know it’s real. Okay?

Sarah Kinik narrating: Christ would get like this sometimes about the more unbelievable parts of the story. But I guess he was right. How do you explain these things?

[Cut to Sarah Kinik speaking on the phone]

Sarah Kinik: [on the phone] It’s just, you said you hit every town. Like, you understand, that’s hard for people to swallow, right? You know what I mean?

Chris: [replying on the phone] And I understand that. I get that, you know. But for me, when it comes down to, is like, Christmas magic. You know what I mean? I don’t know what else to say. I just don’t know what to say, you know?

Sarah Kinik narrating: I had to follow up on this. It just seemed so outlandish. [Cut to Sarah Kinik meeting David] So, I called my friend David who has been delivering packages for 12 years. The same kind of packages Chris would have been delivering.

[Cut to Sarah Kinik and David]

Sarah Kinik: What would the timeline be for someone to deliver a series of presents throughout the world. Is that even possible?

[Cut to David]

David: Nah! I don’t think so.

Sarah Kinik narrating: I should mention that David works for UPS, which would be in direct competition with Chris.

David: No, I’ve never seen anything like that.

Sarah Kinik: Okay.

David: If he says he can do it, he is lying.

Sarah Kinik: Okay.

Sarah Kinik narrating: So, we attempted it.

[Cut to Dana and Sarah Kinik building a sleigh out of card boards.]

My producer Dana and I built a sleigh. We couldn’t get reindeer so we got a small horse. Needless to say it went badly. Horse wouldn’t even fly.

[Cut to Sarah Kinik speaking on the phone]

Sarah Kinik: [on the phone] We tried this. We didn’t even get close, you know?

Chris: But you didn’t have my reindeer! You know what I’m saying? Like, magic reindeer only know where I’m at. Yo, regular people can’t just make a reindeer fly. You know what I’m saying?

Sarah Kinik: Yeah.

Sarah Kinik narrating: This is my biggest problem with Chris’s story. I understand hitting one town overnight. Maybe two. But every town in the world just didn’t seem right. That brings us to Jingle. [Cut to Jingle] Jingle’s an elf who claims he was with Chris on December 25th, 1999. He says they drove around, got high, hung out. That’s it. No presents, no flying. Jingle was the prosecution star witness in a trial against Chris on 24th street a few years ago. Here’s a recording of defense attorney Adina Hernandez cross examining Jingle back then.

Adina Hernandez: Now, Jingle. Did you tell the other elves on March 14th that Chris was magic?

Jingle: No, Ma’am, I did not.

Adina Hernandez: You never? Not once?

Jingle: No, Ma’am.

Adina Hernandez: Whaaaaaat?

Sarah Kinik narrating: So, if Jingle didn’t see Chris leave the present, did anyone? Maybe there are people out there who claim they’ve seen Chris leave lots of presents. Maybe they’ve written in letters. Maybe they’ve sat on his lap. And then there’s the Nisha call. Next time on SERIAL.

[Cut to Dana]

Dana: So, it’s mail kim? (MailChimp)

Sarah Kinik: what?