Nathan… Pete Davidson
Rebecca… Cecily Strong
Michael… Taran Killam
Denice… Vanessa Bayer
Joan… Aidy Bryant
Terry… Russell Crowe[Starts with video clips of jungle]
Male voice: Exhaustion, starvation, dehydration. Who will survive them all to last 100 days in the jungle.[Cut to Beck briefing the contestants]
Beck: Michael, Rebecca, Nathan. You’ve all made it to day 94. I know it’s been hard and I’m sure you all miss your families.
Rebecca: So much.
Nathan: A lot.
Beck: Well, you’re in luck because we have a surprise. We’ve flown in a loved one for each of you. And they’re here now. Michael, say hi to your wife of fifteen years, Denice.[Denice walks in]
Michael: Denice? Denice, oh my god! [kissing] Oh, I missed you. How are our kids?
Denice: Oh, they’re good. They’re rooting for their daddy.
Beck: Rebecca, say hi to your mom, Joan.[Joan walks in]
Rebecca: Mommy! Oh my god! You’re here.
Joan: I am here. [hugging] I love you sweetheart.
Beck: And finally, Nathan, say hi to your uncle’s friend, Terry.[Nathan losing his smile]
Nathan: Who?[Terry comes in]
Terry: Hey buddy. It’s me. Your uncle’s friend, Terry. Ha-ha. Hey buddy. Ay! Ay! Remember me? Yeah, you do. Come on! We used to live in a tent in your uncle’s backyard. Come on.
Nathan: Oh, right. Hey man, I’m sorry but where’s my parents?
Beck: They had a thing and couldn’t move it. But Nathan, how does it feel to see your uncle’s friend, Terry?
Nathan: Um, kind of weird. Like, we’ve only met a couple of times. And one year we had Christmas at my uncle’s and Terry made us all go outside and watch him drink a two liter bottle of Sprite outside the house.
Terry: Oh, everyone was saying, [hooting] “Terry! Terry! Terry!” Best day of my life, buddy, buddy boy.
Nathan: Only you were chanting that.
Beck: Michael and Rebecca, how are you feeling? You look so shocked to see your family.
Michael: Oh, my god. I am so shocked.
Rebecca: You have no idea. It’s crazy.
Nathan: Um, I’m probably the most shocked. Jus coz like I have seven brothers and sisters, also a girlfriend of three years and none of them could be here?
Beck: Unfortunately, no. They are not here. But your uncle’s friend Terry is. And as an added surprise, Thanks to the new Sony 4K UltraHD TV, you get to say hello to more loved ones.[someone brings in a TV]
Take a look.[Michael’s children appear on the TV]
Children: We miss you, daddy.
Michael: Oh, I miss them so much. Hi Noah. Hi Emily. [kisses] [Rebecca’s dad appears on the TV holding a dog]
Dad: Hi, Becky. My love is with you. Hi.
Rebecca: Wow, dad and Milo. I love you guys.[Leslie appears on the TV]
Leslie: [Crying] Terry, it’s me. I need you. I messed up. I messed up real bad. If you don’t come home, I’ma kill myself.
Terry: Hey, baby. How are ya?
Nathan: Who is that?
Terry: It’s a girl I’m seeing. She steals credit cards for living. Hey, baby!
Beck: And now, one final twist. Your loved ones aren’t here just for fun. They’re here because today is a reward challenge and they will be competing on your behalf. How do you feel about that?
Michael: Absolutely great. My wife is the strongest woman I know.
Rebecca: My mom is my rock. She can do anything.
Nathan: Well, my uncle’s friend Terry once took me to see basic instincts, and during the whole middle part, he kept hitting my leg and said, “Here it comes.”
Terry: Damn right I did. That was the day you became a man.
Nathan: I was five.[Someone brings in a table. There are three baskets on the table.]
Beck: Today’s competition is eating challenge. In front of each of your loved ones is a jungle delicacy. Whoever can eat their’s the fastest wins a reward for their loved one.
Nathan: Yeah. Can you stop saying loved one?
Beck: Denice, you have a cow’s tongue.
Denice: Oh, my god. I can’t eat that.
Michael: No, come on baby. You can do it.
Beck: Joan, you have a pig’s liver.
Joan: Oh, I think I’m gonna be sick.
Rebecca: Mom, you’ve got this.
Beck: And Nathan’s uncle’s friend Terry, you have a duck’s vagina.
Terry: Hell yeah player!
Beck: Oh your mark![Terry just picks the item up and eats it and starts dancing.]
Oh, wow! That was much quicker than we expected. Terry, you win. Nathan, you gotta be proud of your uncle’s friend Terry.
Nathan: I wouldn’t say proud. I mean, he just yelled, “Oh, hell yeah player!” and ate a duck vagina on TV.
Terry: [celebrating] Duck vagina.
Beck: Well, as today’s winners, you and your uncle’s friend Terry win a four course meal and a massage for two.
Terry: Oh, no, no. Can’t do that. I can’t do. I got stitches all over my back. Horse bit me.
Nathan: On your back? What is your life?
Beck: We’ll be right back on 100 days in the jungle.[The End]