Host… Alex Moffat
Stacy… Sarah Sherman
Mike… Simu Liu
Sandy… Heidi Gardner
Judges… Ego Nwodim, Pete Davidson, Aidy Bryant[Starts with show intro]
Male voice: We now return to the Thanksgiving Baking Championship.[Cut to bakes and the host]
Host: Okay, Baker’s. Time is up. Today’s theme was giving thanks and you had two hours to create cakes based on what you’re most thankful for. First up is home Baker, Stacy.
Stacy: Hi, judges. I can’t believe I’m here.
Ego: We’re glad you are. Now tell us what you made today.
Stacy: Well, I always worried I would never have children. So, this year I’m thankful for my beautiful baby girl who turns three this Thanksgiving. So, my cake is bubblegum sponge covered in sweet vanilla fondant. And my little girl just had her first dance recital so she’s wearing a pink tutu made of Spun Sugar.
Pete: That is adorable. I’m dying.
Stacy: Thank you. I’m almost as proud of her as I am with the cake.
Ego: Oh, well. Let’s see it.[Stacy shows the judges her cake. It’s bad.]
Stacy: Yeah, I messed up.
Pete: Whoa, Stacy. It looks like you had a little trouble there.
Stacy: Yeah, I messed up. I thought if I pretended to cry, you wouldn’t noticed that my cake was bad.
Aidy: Okay, so where did you go wrong?
Stacy: Yeah. I had trouble was her head. So, I turned into a diaper. And then I put a yellow legs on her. I don’t I don’t know.
Ego: Well let’s sample the cake.[The judges taste the cake]
Pete: Okay, I’m getting a lot of mustard.
Stacy: Yeah, I do not know how to bake. I also do not have a daughter. I made that all up.
Host: Wow, you are a mess. Next up is home Baker and amateur rapper, Mike.
Mike: Hi, judges. Happy bakesgiving.
Pete: [eating the cake] Ay, cute pun. And Mike, I have to ask. You rap?
Mike: Oh, I really do. And if I may.[rapping] My name is Mike and I’m here to bake
the make the cake, the–
Aidy: Wow! Got a little tongue tied there. But let’s hear what you’re thankful for.
Mike: Well, this year I’m most thankful for time with friends and family. So, in the spirit of abundance, I made two cakes. So, first is a pilgrim made from butterscotch pound cake and European buttercream. The second cake is a faux Turkey made with Angel Food and caramel icing. Save me a drumstick. Save me a drumstick.
Ego: Wow, two cakes. That’s a fast. Let’s see them.[Mike shows the judges his cakes. They’re really bad.]
Mike: Yeah, I did it wrong.
Pete: Oh! Mike! What happened?
Mike: I think just total lack of imagination and ability.
Ego: Why did you give the pilgrim red lips?
Mike: I don’t know. I don’t remember doing any of this.
Host: Oh, that’s too bad. Next up is returning contestant, Sandy.
Sandy: Hi, judges. I pulled out all the stops today with my three layer fall Fantasia maple bourbon wedding cake.[Sandy shows the judges her cake. It looks fantastic.] [the judges are whispering]
Host: Next up is Ralph.
Sandy: What? No! This is good.
Pete: Well, you said it’s three layers and this is only two.
Sandy: His cake is horrible and you didn’t even taste it.
Ego: Alright, Mike, can we taste you cake?
Mike: Really? Uh, yeah, sure. I guess.[While Mike tries to cut the cake, the cake opens its eyes and screams]
Ego: Mike did your cake just open its eyes and scream. How’s it doing that?
Mike: I don’t know. I think my cake is so bad, I opened a portal to hell.
Pete: Well, we still need to taste it.
Mike: Of course, of course.[Mike tries to cut another cake. The cake starts puking.]
Aidy: Mike., did the pilgrim just barf on the turkey?
Mike: I believe it did, ma’am. It’s squeamish, I guess.
Sandy: That’s so disgusting. That is not up to baking challenge standards.[Mike’s cake turns towards Sandy and starts puking on her]
Oh my god! Ew!
Ego: Well, Sandy, you asked for that.
Mike: Argh! Should I go? I feel like I should go.
Pete: No, Mike, it’s anyone’s game. Ralph?
5: Well, it’s easy to look back at Thanksgivings of old. But what will Thanksgivings be in the future? Thanks to a new era of space travel, we may know sooner than we think. My cake is a tribute to that.[5 shows the judges his cake. It looks like a penis ejaculating.]
Aidy: Okay. And the white stuff is like the re-entering the atmosphere?
5: Yes, ma’am. And the spunk is icing.
Ego: Looks like we have a tough decision to make.
Sandy: No, you don’t.