Karen Domineau… Aidy Bryant
Viola Davis… Leslie Jones
Marion Cotillard… Cecily Strong
Debette Goldry… Kate McKinnon
[Starts with New York Film Festival intro video] [Cut to the set]Karen Domineau: Hello and welcome to the 2017 New York Film Festival actress round table. Tonight, our topic is sexual harassment in Hollywood. First, we have Oscar winning actress and Harvard’s 2017 artist of the year, Viola Davis.
[Cut to Viola Davis]Viola Davis: Happy to be here. Well, not happy, but you know, I’m here.
[Cut to Karen Domineau]Karen Domineau: Next, another Oscar winner, Marion Cotillard.
[Cut to Marion Cotillard]Marion Cotillard: I’m tiny, French and pissed off.
[Cut to Karen Domineau]Karen Domineau: And joining us again is Hollywood legend, and winner of the Humphrey Bogard good sport award, the incomparable Debette Goldry.
[Cut to Debette Goldry]Debette Goldry: Oh, wow! What a beautiful hospital this is.
[Cut to everybody]Karen Domineau: Well, let’s begin with the elephant in the room. In light of the news about Harvey Weinstein, have you ever experienced sexual harassment in Hollywood?
Marion Cotillard: Of course, yes.
Viola Davis: Yes, absolutely.
Debette Goldry: Oh, have I ever been sexually harassed, good Friday, where do you want me to start? A woman being harassed is Hollywood, right? Everything old is new again. Producers are abusing starlets. There is Nazis marching in the street. And suddenly, nude pantyhose are on trend. I have never felt more at home. When’s polio coming back? That’s going to be fun.
Karen Domineau: Now, just hours ago, it was announced that Weinstein was kicked out of the Motion Picture Academy. Did any of you have personal run-ins with Weinstein or other producers?
Marion Cotillard: Um, one time, a producer asked me if I was comfortable with nudity. But it turns out he meant his own.
Viola Davis: One time, a producer asked me for a massage. When I refused he threw 10 or 12 phones at me. Then I realized he was trying to knock my shirt off.
Debette Goldry: I actually did have one meeting with Harvey, okay? I was invited to his hotel room. And when I arrived, he was naked hanging upside down from at that monkey bar. He tried to trick me into thinking his genitals were actually his face. It almost worked. The resemblance is uncanny.
Karen Domineau: Why is it that you think this keeps happening?
Viola Davis: The problem is the culture. There’s no accountability.
Marion Cotillard: Yes. I think men either don’t see it, or they choose not to see it.
Debette Goldry: Yeah. Of course, men cover up for other men. It’s a real you scratch my back, I’ll keep mum about the girl you drowned at your pool party situation.
Karen Domineau: Now, many actresses have commented that there is a whisper system to warn each other about potentially threatening men. Does that ring true to you?
Marion Cotillard: Yes, it’s horrible, but yes it’s true.
Debette Goldry: Yeah, yeah. Back then, we had a secret code among us actresses to warn each other about creeps. The code was ‘Her raped me’. That way, if any men were listening, they would tune us right out. Easy peasy.
Karen Domineau: Did you ever feel like you could go to your male co-stars for help?
Debette Goldry: Hmm. Well, you know, I remember I was doing two days of voiceover work on Alfred Hitchcock’s, “The Birds.” Because originally, the birds were going to be funny and talk. Anyway, Hitchcock comes in the booth, puts his whole fist in my mouth. In his defense, I was very blonde at the time. So, I turned to Rod Taylor. I was like, “Help me out.” And he shook his head and he was like if I can’t save Tippi Head Ron from having her head attacked by real birds, I’m sure as hell not saving you.
Karen Domineau: What do you think keeps women from speaking up?
Viola Davis: Women who speak up get called crazy. It seems like more people believe the moon landing was fake than believe woman.
Debette Goldry: Well, Violin Daveed, I’d hate to break it to you but the moon landing was faked. I was in the cast. I was Buzz Aldrin standing. We had the same waist size. That was a fun set.
Karen Domineau: Is it reassuring that men are starting to speak out in support of their female co-stars?
Marion Cotillard: Yes, you know, but I hate this, “Oh, I’m upset because I’m a father of a daughter.” You know what? You should be upset because you’re a human being.
Debette Goldry: Yeah. You’re right, Macaroni Capa Cabana. Having a lady in the family doesn’t make you some kind of a hero. I mean, even Hitler had a sister. Her name was Paula Hitler. Shy girl. She got outshone at home. I have a daughter too. At least that’s what the nuns told me before they snatched her away. Gosh, those nuns are fast.
Karen Domineau: And where do we go from here?
Debette Goldry: May I speak. Violence against women, it didn’t just happen. This is everywhere. Dammit! It’s about time we take it seriously. My Pandora’s box is open now. And Pandora’s pissed. Who’s with me?
[no one raises their hand]No. I’m asking, who are these people? [pointing at Viola Davis and Marion Cotillard] I blacked out. Are these the angels? Is it my time?
Karen Domineau: Well, that’s all the time we have for today.
Debette Goldry: I’ve been to the moon, you know?