Chloe Fineman
Mikey Day
Alex Moffat
Bowen Yang
Benedict Cumberbatch
Julie… Melissa Villaseñor
Mr. Munch… Kenan Thompson
Katie Carrot… Katie Carrot Strong
Pascuale the pizza chef… Aristotle Athari
[Starts Chloe getting a table in Chuck E. cheese’s]Chloe: Come on, buddy, let’s grab our seats.
Mikey: Alright. I think the show is starting.
Alex: Hey, everybody, I know you came to see Chuck E. and his pals but we have some technical problems. And Chuck E. and the Pizza Time band are not running right now.
Chloe: Aw, that’s why we came.
Alex: Yeah, I know. I know. I’m sorry about that. But the show must go on.Good. Okay. And great news, I reached out on Twitter to my favorite British band from 1983 and they were available. So please welcome Reflection Denied.
[Ben and Bowen walk to the stage]Ben: Amongst the basil and the Pomodoro, did I experience my reverie? Here at Chuck E. Cheese, existing in the liminal space between them all and the highway. Before the big bang that was pizza?
[music playing]Bowen: Greetings children and children of the mind. We are Reflection Denied but today I’m a vessel for the eponymous rodent, Charles Entertainment cheese.
Ben: And I for Fantasy Giles. Join us on a soundscape of pizza…
Bowen: Game…
Ben: And soulful longing.
Bowen: [singing] I reached self concept at the pizza plex.
I forgot my taste and smell
Ben: Games and sauce, games and sauce
Bowen: She bowling while I’m ski falling
you read my mind so well
Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me
Mikey: This is fun, right, bud?
Chloe: Is this for kids?
Mikey: I think it’s for him.
[Alex is dancing hard with no care]Bowen: I cried alone in the bowl pit
Oh father, where are you?
Ben: Games and sauce, games and sauce
Bowen: Mr. Pender out of Dr. Pepper
Why today have bow
Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me
Bowen: If you’d like to book us for future gigs or tip us in Dippin Dots, please see Julie.
Chloe: Who is Julie?
Mikey: I’m guessing she is.
Ben and Bowen: Tokens for tickets, tickets for prizes
parents paying for dreams.
Win and old yoyo or an iPod Shuffle,
they’ve been here since 2003
Bowen: Now we bring dispatches of birthday celebration, Coby G and Mason S. congratulations on the anniversary of emerging from your mother’s vagina.
Ben: To the Indian Ridge Little League team, your coach says pizza is for winners. So tonight you starve.
Bowen: Huh? Do you hear that? The rumbling of 1000 hungers?
Ben: Is it?
Bowen: It is.
Ben: The physical voice of pizza, the insatiable Mr. Munch.
[Mr. Munch walks in]Mr. Much: Querp, querp, querp, querp, querp, querp, querp
Pizza in my tummy.
Mikey: It’s Munch! He’s hungry, bud?
Bowen: Hungry for validation, for he was abandoned on a Ferris wheel and Malpais. The bastard child of a Cirque du Soleil performer and grimace. Applaud him, applaud his bravery.
Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me
Chloe: Oh, look. That’s Pascuale the pizza chef.
Mikey: Was he always so sexy?
[Pascuale the pizza chef runs around the stage and runs out.]Ben: Now, children, a cautionary tale. Did you know that Chuck E. Cheese has a salad bar?
Bowen: An untouched place where hope goes to die. And here to tell us about it is Katie Carrot.
[Katie Carrot walks in wearing carrot costume]Katie Carrot: Longing for contact under clear plastic,
broken disposable thongs
cold linguini, pepper on chini
where did we go wrong?
Romaine is all the remain
Ben: She’s dying.
Katie Carrot: Romaine is all that remains
Chloe: Wow. I know that carrot. I’ve been that carrot.
Ben: We’re all that carrot. Listen.
Bowen: Tonight, the call goes out to all the world. Throw off the shackles of your dark buzz, your religion, your racial animus.
Ben: And unite under one banner, the banner of pizza.
Bowen: Also the pink gun on the Time Crisis II game is broken.
Ben: Oh, yes. And someone left a diaper in the ball pit. Now unite and sing.
Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me