Kenny… Kyle Mooney
Director… Beck Bennett
Kendall Jenner… Cecily Strong[Starts with shooting for Pepsi commercial.]
Kenny: And that’s a cut on rehearsal. Let’s be ready to roll in five. How is it going, Mr. Director?
Director: Good. Good. I’m really excited.
Kenny: Well, you should be. Writing and directing a commercial for Pepsi. It doesn’t get much bigger than that.[phone vibrating]
Director: Oh, hey, this is my sister. I gotta get this real quick. [talking on the phone] Carrie, hey. Sorry, I can’t super talk right now. I’m on the set of a huge Pepsi commercial I’m doing. I know, right? It was like, completely my idea, and now they’re doing it. It’s great, yeah. I mean, okay, so well it’s an homage to the resistance and for the huge protests in the streets reminiscent of Black Lives Matter. And so, everybody is marching, right? And they can see police officers and they think it’s gonna go bad because there’s kind if, like, a standoff. And then, Kendall Jenner walks in and she walks up to one of the police officers, And she hands him a Pepsi, and then, that Pepsi brings everybody together. Isn’t that like, the best ad ever? [listening silently] Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Sort of done deaf.
Kenny: Alright, guys, three minutes away! Three minutes!
Director: I think maybe you just kind of don’t get it. Is Doug there? Can you put him on? Dough! What’s up? Hey, I just want to run this Pepsi commercial by you that I’m doing and make sure you are loving it as much as I am. Um, cool, cool. The whole thing is an homage to resistance and Black Lives Matter. So everybody is marching. And then Kendall Jenner comes up to a police officer and gives him a Pepsi and everybody celebrates. People of every single culture comes toge– Uh-huh. [listening] Uh-huh. No, we’re celebrating these cultures. We’re celebrating black culture. Uh-huh. Cancel hiphop? But we’re also celebrating asian culture. Don’t even play the cello?Mm, mm, mm. Oh, got it. Just kind of using them? Yeah. It’s all soda? Great. It’s gonna be bad.
Kenny: Alright people, 60 seconds till we roll on this man’s singular vision!
Director: Ha-ha. Yes! [talking on phone] Hey, man. Could you put a neighbor on the phone, a black one? Hi, ma’am. Hey, we’re shooting a little Pepsi commercial over here. I want to run it by you and get your opinion on it. Okay, great. So, the whole thing is an homage on Black Lives Matter. Huh? Don’t even touch it? It’d be insane to touch it? Right. Okay. Don’t even show police? [sigh] Yeah. What would you do if you were in my situation? Just run to my car? Okay.
Kenny: Alright, we got to go. People.
Director: Hey, Kenny. Do we have a time for a quick re-write?
Kenny: Hey, no can do, bud. Let’s invite Kendall to set. She has her hard out in 45 seconds.[Kendall Jenner walks out of her bus]
Kendall Jenner: Okay, bye. I gotta go. I’m on the set of my Pepsi commercial. Um, I stop the police from shooting black people by giving them a Pepsi. I know! It’s cute, right?