Tag: Lorne

Forgot About Lorne ft Eminem

[Starts with Pete Davison just standing on SNL studio. Natasha Lyonne walks to him.]

Natasha Lyonne: Hey Pete, what’s up?

Pete Davison: Nothing. I’m just watching Lorne. He looks little sad, right?

Natasha Lyonne: Yeah, definitely.

Pete Davison: Right? I wonder what’s wrong.

Natasha Lyonne: Look, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I think he’s been pretty depressed because he secretly always wanted to do a music video with you.

Pete Davidson: Really?

Natasha Lyonne: Yeah.

Pete Davison: What makes you say that?

Natasha Lyonne: I found the script in the garbage.

Speaker 1: Pete and Lorne rap video. Written by Lorne. Weird. [Lorne is sobbing alone] You know what? That guy has literally done everything for me. So I’m gonna pay him back by doing this rap video exactly the way he wrote it.

Pete Davison: Honestly, that’s your business, man.

[Dr. Dre  – Forget About Dre ft. Eminem instrumental playing]

Pete Davison: [dressed as Lorne] [rapping] Y’all know me, still the same Big L, O-R-N-E
Got a mind as sharp as a razor, quick as a laser
First man to wear jeans and a blazer
In 30 Rock, behind my desk
Eating popcorn, flippin’ through my Rolodex
Could probably call Joe Biden and when I talk about Paul
Don’t know if it’s McCartney or Simon
Every Broadway play, I seen ’em
Got the Presidential medal of Freedom
Four newspapers on my desk
Bright and early each day and I always read ’em
When a cue card has a typo
I’m liable to go Michael’s, take your pick
I said Jackson, Tyson or Lorne, 1976

[Chorus] Nowadays, everybody wanna act like they’re breaking the form
But every time I’m looking online, it seems
It’s just a bunch of old memes
All these mother******* hacks forgot about Lorne
Nowadays, everybody wanna act like they’re breaking the form
But every time I’m looking online, it seems
It’s just a bunch of old memes
All these mother******* hacks forgot about Lorne

What do ya’ say about a comedy great?
Been doing it himself, for a half a century straight
Wanna talk about all the crazy people he made?
Every single decade has ridiculous names
Like David Space, Belushi, Wiig, and Farley
Aykroyd, Gilda, Sandler, and Carvey
Ferrell, Morgan, Will Forte, Norm Macdonald, and Tina Fey
He must’ve seen a lot of things, but he never snitched
He’s nice as hell, he’s Canadian, bitch
On a typewriter, he wrote “Three Amigos”
Jugglin’ egos, chicka-chickalike Petey baby
On the cover of “Page Six” daily
And a bunch of much nicer people
Like Kate McKinnon, Kyle Mooney
And don’t forget Baby Aidy

[Chorus] Nowadays, everybody wanna act like they’re breaking the form
But every time I’m looking online, it seems
It’s just a bunch of old memes
All these mother******* hacks forgot about Lorne

[music video stops]

Eminem: Pete! Pete! What are you doing, man?

Pete Davison: Oh, yo. What’s up, dude?

Eminem: It’s another parody? It’s like another tribute or something?

Pete Davidson: Yeah, yeah, it’s like, the third one.

Eminem: Yeah. I would just stop.

Pete Davidson: What?

Eminem: Yeah, they all suck.

Pete Davidson: Well, do you not like the videos or your just don’t like me?

Eminem: Just please, stop.

Pete Davidson: Alright, I will.

Eminem: It’s really bad.

Pete Davidson: Honestly, we just do these because we love you so much, Marshall. They’re like, a tribute, you know?

Eminem: Pete!

Pete Davidson: Huh?

Eminem: Don’t fucking do it again.

Pete Davidson: Got it.

Eminem: Okay. [walks away]

[Pete Davidson sighs]

Pete Davidson: Well Lorne, [yelling] you blew it!

David Harbour Monologue

David Harbour

Kate McKinnon

Aidy Bryant

Beck Bennett

Pete Davidson

Lorne

Kenan Thompson

[Starts with SNL monologue intro]

[The band is playing music on stage]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen – David Harbour.

[David Harbour walks in the door and to the stage]

David Harbour: Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Very, very much. I am David Harbour. I play Chief Hopper on the show “Stranger Things.” Most people don’t actually know this but I put on 20 Pounds for that role. Nobody asked me to do that, but I did that. It’s great. I get to act with a bunch of amazing kids who are all going through puberty at exactly the same time. So, set is a blast. But, look, as much as I love the show, I can do a lot more. I’ve done Shakespeare in the park. I’ve been in “The Merchant of Venice” on broadway. I have played “Hellboy”. Oh. That’s surprising. They wanted me to do a “Stranger Things” monologue tonight and I was like, “No! I want to do one of those walk around the studio ones.” You know? Crack jokes with people. You know? Be fun! Right?

[Cheers and applause]

Come on! Let’s do it. Let’s do it.

[David Harbout starts walking around the audience]

So right here is where the attractive people sit. Oh, congratulations. Oh, hey, look, everybody. It’s Kate McKinnon, everyone.

Kate McKinnon: David, something’s wrong here.

David Harbour: What? Kate, what’s wrong?

Kate McKinnon: I don’t know. Look, it just appeared.

[Kate shows David a hole through the wall]

I think it’s a gate to the upside down, man.

David Harbour: Oh, just like in my show. Look, whoever’s behind these doors might need my help, okay? I’m going in.

Kate McKinnon: Be careful.

[Cut to David Harbour walking in a smoky place]

[David is coughing]

David Harbour: Hello? Is anyone there? Oh, my god. Barb.

[Aidy Bryant is stuck on the wall]

Aidy Bryant: No, nope. David, it’s Aidy. We’ve been working together all week.

David Harbour: Oh, right. Are you okay?

Aidy Bryant: I mean, I’m really not.

David Harbour: Okay, I’ll go for help. I won’t forget about you, Barb.

[David Harbour walks forward]

Hey,Beck.

[David meets Beck]

Hey, how do I get to the ‘SNL’ stage?

Beck Bennett: Well, there are lots of ways David. For me, I got my start in high school theater. I started making comedy video and them in the internet with my friends.

[A creature jumps on Beck and pulls him away]

David Harbour: Oh! Thank god. He told me that story, like, five times this week already. Wait. No. No, it can’t be. Pete Davidson?

[David Harbour meets Pete Davidson]

Pete Davidson: Hey, what up?

David Harbour: Is this where you’ve been? In the up-side-down?

Pete Davidson: Yeah, dude. It’s lit, right?

David Harbour: No, it’s not. Why don’t you come back with me. Can you do the show tonight.

Pete Davidson: Uh, maybe. Hey, didn’t you die in here at the end of the show? Are you dead?

David Harbour: No. I’m not exactly authorized—Just watch the show. You’ll find out next season.

[David Harbour walks forward]

Hey, can you help me? Can you help me?

Lorne: One second. Boss, your food is here. It’s at the page desk.

David Harbour: Lorne, what are you doing? You’re a page?

Lorne: Everybody’s got to start somewhere.

David Harbour: But, then who’s running the show.

[Kenan Thompson walks in]

Kenan Thompson: Uh-huh. Well, finally. Took me long enough to get my dinner.

David Harbour: Kenan, you’re running the show from here?

Kenan Thompson: Well, yeah. I mean I basically running the show from out there, too. Now, I believe you got a monologue to do, man. Go on, shoot!

David Harbour: All right, thanks, boss.

[David Harbour walks out]

Kenan Thompson: All right. Let’s see what we got here, and it better not be cheese on this. And there’s cheese on it. Use your hand, Lorne.

Lorne: I can go back. Wow. He knows my name.

[Cut to David Harbour on SNL monologue stage]

David Harbour: Wow. So glad I’m back. Wow! Here in the right side up, we have a great show, Camila Cabello is here. Stick around. We’ll be right back.