Judith… Aidy Bryant
Thomas… Bobby Moynihan
School Mam… Kate McKinnon
Avanathy… Jon Rudnitsky
Pastor Dane… Taran Killam
Bernard… Tracy Morgan
Branda… Sasheer Zamata[Starts with the book ‘The Loveliest Kingdom’.] [Cut to Judith and Thomas in the market]
Judith: Good morning, farmer Thomas.
Thomas: Oh, good morning spinster Judith. Care for an apple?
Judith: Oh, how generous. I’ll pay for it with a kiss.
Thomas: No need.
Judith and Thomas: [singing] And on our way we go.[Cut to Mam and Avanathy]
Mam: Well, good morning, Avanathy.
Avanathy: Good morning School Mam.
Mam: Shouldn’t you be in school?
Avanathy: Well, shouldn’t you?
Mam: Well, it’s okay for adults to take beautiful days off.
Mam and Avanathy: [singing] And on our way we go.[Cut to Pastor Dane and Bernard]
Pastor Dane: Ah! Good morning clock maker Bernard.
Bernard: Well, hello there Pastor Dane.
Pastor Dane: Oh, this morning finds you in a jolly mood.
Bernard: I should be.
Pastor Dane: Oh, do tell.
Bernard: I saw a horse take a wiz. It was insane.
Pastor Dane: What
Bernard: It made a puddle so big, our duck landed in it.
Pastor Dane and Bernard: [singing with no interest] And on our way we go.[Bernard leaves and Cecily walks in]
Cecily: Good morning, Pastor Dane. Is there something of matter?
Pastor Dane: Oh, no. No. I don’t think so. I was just talking to Bernard the clock maker. [Bernard walks in]
Bernard: Hey, can I ask you a girl question?
Cecily: Ah! I bet I know what it is and yes, you may have a buttercup.
Bernard: No. Do you cross your legs when you sit on the toilet?
Cecily: Why do I do what?
Bernard: You know, so if someone walks in, you look like a lady.
Bernard and Cecily: [singing with no interest] And on our way we go.[Dancers are dancing behind Pastor Dane, Bernard and Cecily. Everyone joins them.]
Everybody: This morning is like no morning before
This morning teachers mornings what mornings are for[Branda walks by]
Pastor Dane: Oh, good morning cheese maker Branda.
Branda: Oh, yes. What a wonderful day it is.
Bernard: It sure is. I wrote a song about titties. Anybody wants to hear it?
Thomas: Bernard! It is 8 am and you are out here in the middle of the square talking utter nonsense. What is wrong with you?
Bernard: I’m just expressing myself. If something’s going on with me? I just say it. Sometimes I don’t even think. You guys are too uptight to say what’s on your mind.[Cut to Judith, Avanathy and Mam]
Judith: He has a point.[Cut to Bernard]
Bernard: So? Who wants to go first?[Cut to Pastor Dane]
Pastor Dane: Well, I guess it shall be me.[Pastor Dane pulls Avanathy]
I’m sleeping with this boy child.[Cut to Bernard]
Bernard: Wait! [Bernard walks to Pastor Dane and Avanathy] You dong what?
Pastor Dane: Well, Bernard, maybe child is not the right word. He is 18.
Avanathy: He waited till I was 18, so it’s cool
Bernard: No, no, no. You did what?
Pastor Dane: Let’s get the music going.
Bernard: Dude, there ain’t no music. You shouldn’t have told us that.
Pastor Dane: Someone else can take a turn. Cheese lady, go.[Cut to Branda]
Branda: I can’t even talk right now.[Cut to Judith, Avanathy and Mam]
Avanathy: It’s okay. If anything, I pushed for it.
Bernard: Alright, it’s okay, as long as you’re happy. It just seems weird.[Cut to everybody]
Hey, did I tell you about the puddle the horse made?
Everybody: [singing] And on our way we go![The End]