Jonathan Majors Monologue

Jonathan Majors

[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Jonathan Majors.

[Jonathan Majors walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]

Jonathan Majors: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I’m excited to be here. It’s exciting. My name is 1. I’m in a new Netflix The Harder They Fall alongside Edris Elba. It was fun. It was fun filming that movie. But if you ever want to feel bad about how you look, definitely spend two months standing right next to Edris Elba.

Growing up, I’m a military brat. My father was in the Air Force. My mother’s a pastor. So. hallelujah. And I moved around a lot. I like to say I was born in California, raised in Texas, educated in North Carolina, roughed up in New York City and then re educated in New Haven, Connecticut. Which I guess is my roundabout way of saying yeah, I went to Yale.

It’s wild. It’s really wild to be here on this stage. When they told me I was gonna host SNL. I said that’s impossible. For real. I mean, it’s been crazy. It’s been a crazy journey. When I was 17, I was homeless, living in my car, working at Red Lobster and Olive Garden. But you know what? I learned from that experience. You know what I learned? That Red Lobster and Olive Garden are owned by the same parent company. So, you can work in both places with no problem. Side note, it’s crazy how many people got their start at Red Lobster. Both Nicki Minaj and Chris Rock worked there. Now I don’t know what they put in them Cheddar Bay Biscuits but it’s working.

Really, that experience it taught me a lot. It taught me that work hard, if you trust the plan, great things can happen. I’ve got a beautiful daughter. I’m gonna be in the next Marvel Ant-man movie. Or as the black community likes to call it, not Black Panther. And now I am indeed hosting Saturday Night Live. I remember the moment when the way of all that kind of hit me, it finally sank in, I was laying in bed looking at the ceiling and all of a sudden, I got this huge burst of energy, excitement, boom, schedule boy. Something big just happened. And it was okay that it was big. You know? You couldn’t let that bigness scare you and I thought back to this advice my grandpa always gave me. He’d say, “Grandson, everything’s big at first. But you walk up on it, you face it, pretty soon is so small you can put it in your pocket.” Which incidentally is the tagline for the next Ant-man movie.

Alright, look. We got a great show for you all tonight. Taylor Swift is in the house. So, stick around. We’ll be right back.