Aidy Bryant
Banessa Bayer
Malissa Villaseńor
Sasheer Zamata
Leslie Jones
[Starts with clips women dressed very nicely having fun]
Female voice: Beautiful, strong, gorgeous at any size. You’re a woman and you deserve clothes that fit and flatter. You are confident.
[Cut to Vanessa]
Vanessa: So confident.
Female voice: Prove them wrong. You rock.
[Cut to Melissa]
Melissa: I rock it.
Female voice: You rule the world.
[Cut to Aidy]
Aidy: Hell, yes I do.
Female voice: That’s why you shop at [growling] Chonk. [Aidy is confused] We know what women want. You wanna be glamorous. We know not every woman’s a runway model. hat’s why [growling] Chonk. [Vanessa and Melissa are confused] You’re a queen. You’re a goddess. You’re [growling] Chonk.
Aidy: I’m Chonk. Head to toe Chonk.
Female voice: No matter what size you are, you’ll still feel [growling] Chonk.
Vanessa: No.
Female voice: We’re the only store that accepts your unique body.
Sasheer: Unique?
[Cut to a little girl playing around]
Female voice: And try our twin girls department. Lil’–
[Aidy walks in and pulls away the girl]
Aidy: No. I don’t want this one. No.
Female voice: [growling] Chonk. Chonk. Chonk.
Leslie: You got one more Chonk, and that’s your ass.
Female voice: And for the guy in your life, visit our men’s store, ‘Normal clothes’.
[Cut to Bobby and Pete buying shirts]
Bobby: This shirt fit me.
Pate: Me too. I got everything I needed.
Bobby: Yeah. No problems here. Sweet.
Female voice: [singing] Every woman’s a [growling] Chonk!