Beers

Josh… Beck Bennett

Mario… Kyle Mooney

CJ… Larry David

[Starts with Josh playing a clarinet in home] [Mario walks in]

Mario: What is that sound? And who do I have to pay to make it stop?

Josh: I’m practicing my clarinet for when my cousin CJ gets here.

Mario: Oh, yeah. Think he’ll be able to take care of our fish when we go on our bike ride tomorrow?

Josh: I hope so. CJ loves fish.

Mario: Great! In the mean time, do you mind taking that thing outside? [pointing at Josh’s clarinet]

Josh: Hey! Hey!

[Cut to Josh and Mario in the kitchen. CJ walks in.]

Josh: My cousin, CJ.

CJ: Josh and Mario. Here I am. Let’s celebrate. Got any beers?

[Mario passes six-packs of beers to CJ]

Perfect! One for you. [CJ passes one can to Mario] And five for me. [CJ keeps five for himself]

Josh: Cousin CJ, can we ask you something?

CJ: Why not? I am your cousin CJ after all.

Mario: What we were wondering is will you watch our fish while we ride bikes tomorrow?

CJ: I can’t believe you’d ask me that. Of course I will.

[Josh, Mario and CJ high-five each other] [Cut to CJ drinking beer alone at night. Mario walks in to the fridge.]

CJ: Let me guess. Snack time for Mario?

Mario: [gets scared] Ah! CJ, I didn’t know you were there.

CJ: Sorry about that. We need more beer.

Mario: What about feeding the fish tomorrow?

CJ: Who cares? Beer is all that matters to me.

Mario: We’re all out, CJ. And that’s that.

[CJ throws the chair to the fridge and breaks it.] [Cut to Mario getting ready for bike ride. CJ walks in drinking beer.]

CJ: Oh, good morning, Mario. Sleep well?

Mario: No, I didn’t and I think you know why.

CJ: Who cares?

[CJ picks up a stool and breaks it again.] [Josh walks in]

Josh: Hey, what’s going on in here?

CJ: Me and Mario were just goofing around. Right Mario?

Mario: Yeah. Just goofing around. Hey, Josh, can we talk in private?

Josh: Sure.

[Josh and Mario take a step back.]

Mario: Your cousin CJ, he has been drinking a lot and throwing chairs at me.

Josh: Oh, relax, Mario. He’s just having fun. It’s very exciting time for cousin CJ. [Cut to CJ eavesdropping] He just got to town.

Mario: Listen, I didn’t want to say this but I’m gonna tell you. I think he’s addicted.

Josh: CJ?

[Josh turns and looks at CJ drinking]

Mario: Alright, let’s go on our bike ride.

[Cut to CJ playing guitar alone in the house. He sees the fish bowl.]

CJ: Wait, what was I supposed to do today? Oh, yeah. Have a blast.

[as CJ is playing guitar running around, he breaks the fish bowl.] [Cut to Josh and Mario peeking from the outside] [Josh and Mario walk in]

CJ: Hey, feeding the fish went great!

Mario: You’re lying. You killed the fish. You used to be my hero.

CJ: Leave me alone loser. [CJ pulls out a knife and stabs Mario. Mario is bleeding.] Oh, no! I stabbed Mario. Why would I do this?

Josh: Because you’re addicted. Admit it.

CJ: You’re right. I admit it. I need help.

Mario: Great! Let’s drink!

Mr. Riot Films

Kyle Mooney

Mario… Beck Bennett

[Starts with ‘A MrRiotFilms production’ video bumper.] [Cut to Kyle and Mario vlogging in their apartment]

Kyle: Wad up, YouTube? As you know, we’ve made a lot of socially conscious videos that have changed the way you look at the world around you.

Mario: Like when we showed you awareness of when we gave a homeless man $100.

[Cut to the video of Kyle and Mario giving a homeless man $100.]

Homeless man: Oh, my god! Thank you very much!

[Kyle and Mario start jumping and hugging] [Cut to Kyle and Mario in vlogging]

Kyle: But there are other problems in America too. Like, bullying.

Mario: That’s right. Which is why we put a mirror of the society to see how people would react when a bully was put in front of their very eyes.

Kyle: That’s another MrRiotFilms YouTube social experiment. Let’s go!

[Cut to MrRiotFilms video bumper.] [Cut to Kyle eating his burger in a restaurant. The video is taken from far away outside of the restaurant.] [Mario walks to Kyle and grabs his burger and eats it.]

Kyle: Hey, what are you doing? That’s my burger.

Mario: It’s mine now. What are you gonna do about it?

Kyle: Give it back to me. You’re acting like a bully.

Mario: I don’t care. Who’s gonna stop me?

Kyle: Give it to me!

[Kyle and Mario turn to people sitting next to them]

Mario: xcuse me, guys. Can I ask you a question? Why didn’t you stop me?

Kyle: He was being a bully to me.

Random person: That’s my bad.

Mario: You could have stopped me. You could have help him get his burger back and have impact to stopping bullying in America today.

[Kyle and Mario shake hands the those people]

Kyle: Alright, thank you. Just keep an eye around.

Random person: Good luck to you guys.

[Cut to Kyle and Mario vlogging]

Mario: Yo, but sometimes the biggest bully in life is the way society treats women.

Kyle: So, we wanted to see if anyone would change a course of history when they are face to face with injustice. Let’s go!

[Cut to MrRiotFilms video bumper.] [Cut to Kyle and Mario in the shopping mall. Kyle is dressed as a woman but still is speaking like a man.]

Kyle: Hi, I’d like to apply for the new job.

Mario: Yeah, we can maybe give you the job but we’ll pay you less than a man.

Kyle: But that’s not fair. I can do the job just as good as a man. Plus, I got better qualifications.

Mario: No, I don’t care.

Kyle: [calling out a person passing by] Excuse me! Excuse me! Sir! You’re walking away from a woman who is being denied equal pay. Why didn’t you say anything?

Random person: No comment.

Kyle: What’s that sir? Come on y’all.

Mario: Gotta make our voices heard!

Kyle: No comment? And that’s part of the problem, isn’t it?

[Cut to Kyle and Mario vlogging]

Kyle: Every year, millions of children go missing. But if you saw a child who is lost, would you even do something about it? Let’s do this.

[Cut to MrRiotFilms video bumper.] [Cut to Mario dressed up like a child with a teddy bear and a board that says ‘LOST’]

Mario: [to a random person] Can you help me find my mommy?

[Kyle walks in]

Kyle: Ayo! Everybody just walking away right now? Well, you all are on your cell phones sipping on your lattes. This kid almost died coz he was lost.

[Mario pretending to be crying]

Mario: Yo, I’m just a scared little kid. Why didn’t y’all try to help me? No, but it’s actually me Mario from MrRiotFilms. And I can’t believe y’all right now.

Kyle: We’re done y’all! We’re done!

Mario: Damn!

Kyle: Be part of the change.

[Cut to Kyle and Mario vlogging]

Mario: But that doesn’t even comparable what we found out in our final experiment. That’s its not just people being bullied.

[Cut to Kyle wearing a dog costume. There’s a bag of dog food and his plate in front of him.]

Kyle: [to random people] Excuse me, feed me. I’m a dog.

[One woman walks to him and pours the dog food into his place] [Mario comes by running]

Mario: Excuse me! Excuse me, miss. Thank you. Um, you know, we don’t need the dog food but why did you decide to feed this dog?

Random woman: He asked me to.

Kyle: I actually have very awareness to tell you ma’am. I’m not a dog.

Random woman: I know you’re not a dog.

Kyle: Well, we just wanna say congratulations coz you have a social revolutionize. We appreciate it. Thank you, ma’am.

[The woman leaves being confused]

That’s change.

[Kyle and Mario hug each other.] [Mario comes by running]

Mario: Well, there you have it.

Kyle: Bug up for your video next week. Well, we’re about to do a funny skit where I play Master Chief from Halo and he getting in trouble with his girl.

[Cut to animated game story. The girl and Master Chief are speaking but the voice is of Kyle]

The girl: I saw you with a girl last night.

Master Chief: Maybe I got a twin. Oh, snap!

[Cut to MrRiotFilms video bumper.]