Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Britney Spears… Chloe Fineman
John Mulaney… Melissa Villasenor[Starts with MasterClass intro]
Male voice: MasterClass Quarantine Edition is back with even more classes from your favorite famous people. Classes like, Phoebe Waller-Bridge teaches journaling.
Chloe: Hello, you cheeky little birds. I don’t know why I said that. I’m Chloe. And since this started, I have won two Emmy’s. No, I haven’t. But I might.[Break message reads “Meet your new instructor.”]
I keep all sorts of journals. One for violent female rage. Oh, I agree. [showing a journal] And this one is full of my naughty little secrets. [trying to open it] It’s a bit sticky. Can’t open it.[Break message reads “Get inside her mind.”]
Even if you’re not writing anything, you can look up from your journal with a cheeky little grin and play mind games with your partner. Oh! I know.
You can find inspiration anywhere. Like, your twerty little neighbor.[talking to neighbor] Oh, hello. [talking to the camera] She hates me. [reading her journal] Ha-ha-ha. I can’t believe I said that.
It was a cheesy, drippy, slutty little tart of the pizza. I’m Chloe and this is my MasterClass. Fancy!
Male voice: And John Mulaney teaches suits.[Cut to John Mulaney]
Melissa: Okay, that will be all. Oh, hello there. I’m standup comedian John Mulaney. And this is my MasterClass on how to master [holds his tie] class.[Break message reads “Meet your new instructor.”]
This suit is ideal if the vibe you’re going for is precocious kids who is asking all the wrong questions at this funeral.[Break message reads “You’ll never stop learning.”]
You’re gonna have to decide whether you’re the type of person that’s gonna button up or button down. But I have to button up because I have no chest hair.[Break message reads “Get the tricks of the trade.”]
Don’t you even think about leaving your tie loose. Tuck that in. Don’t be a monster. Oh, you’re looking sharp, John. And now you’re ready to hang out in your house coz we have nowhere to go.[Break message reads “Pursue your passion.”]
Go, apply for the job and tell me thanks when you get it.
Male voice: And of course, Britney Spears teaches something.[Cut to Britney Spears in her home]
Britney Spears: I’ve been in quarantine for five years now. And that’s okay because all my favorite stuff is here.[Break message reads “Meet your new instructor.”] [singing] Oops, I burned my gym down. So now, I exercise outside. When I’m looking for a creative outlet, sometimes I’ll paint, sometimes I’ll post. And I’m skinny as a needle. My loneliness is literally saving me.
The thing that helps me most in quarantine is being rich.[Break message reads “We paid her too much for this.”]
During this time of Corona disease, we have to stay safe. My prayer is with you. I’m Britney Spears and this is my Master School.
Male voice: MasterClass, Quarantine Edition.