Miley Cyrus monologue

Miley Cyrus

Rachel Dolezal… Venessa Bayer

Dentist… Taran Killam

Kim Davis… Aidy Bryant

Twerp… Kate McKinnon

Pizza rat… Kenan Thompson

Meek Mill… Michael Che

Drake appear… Jay Pharoah

[Starts with SNL monologue intro.]

[band is playing music one the stage]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Miley Cyrus.

[Miley Cyrus walks in and to the stage. She is wearing a dress with many colorful flowers on it.]

[cheers and applause]

Miley Cyrus: Thank you. Thank you all. Thank you very much. It is so great to be here hosting the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. I love hosting this show because it’s live. So, my parents know where I am for at least 90 minutes. And although tonight, I am on a seven second delay, not a television delay, it’s just when you smoke as much as I do, you’re always on a seven second delay. And, while I’m excited to be here, I’m also kind of sad because it feels like the summer of 2015 has officially come to an end.[music playing] And with that in mind, I’d like to take a moment to say goodbye, to all of those who made this summer what it was. [someone hands over a mic to Miley Cyrus] And while we never thing of any of these people ever, ever again, they certainly did this summer their way.

[singing] And now, the end is near
I’m so afraid, the final curtain

[Rachel Dolezal ‘Claimed to be black for twenty years’ at right side]

my friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll take my case of which I am certain

[The dentist who killed Cecil the Lion at left side]

I believe life is full
I travel each and every highway

[Kim Davis appears at right side]

The more, slowing this
I did it my way
regrets, I’ve had a few
but then I get, too few to mention

[‘That twerp who raised the price of AIDS medication’ at the right side]

I did what I had to do
and saw it through without redemption

[Pizza rat appears at the right side]

I played each journey

[Meek Mill and Drake beef at left side]

and each and every step out of my way

[‘Lenny Cravitz’s Junk’ at right side. Kim Davis is walking behind him with her arms raised.]

and all of this, I did it my way
yes, there were times
I’m so, you knew,
we know how I bit on
more than I could chew
but through it all
I did it all

[Everybody comes to the stage]

Thank you. Thank you so much. We’ve got a great show for you tonight. I’m here. So, stick around and we’ll be right back.

James McAvoy Shows Off His Accents | Season 44 Episode 11

James McAvoy

Meek Mill

Leslie Jones

[Starts with James McAvoy, Meek Mill and Leslie Jones on SNL stage]

James McAvoy :Hey, I’m James McAvoy and I’m hosting SNL with Meek Mill.

Leslie Jones: Oh, I love that accent. Do Irish.

James McAvoy: I’m James McAvoy and I am–

Leslie Jones: Australian.

James McAvoy: –hosting SNL this week.

Leslie Jones: New York.

James McAvoy: Hey. I’m walking here–

Leslie Jones: NO!

[re-take]

James McAvoy: Hey, I’m James McAvoy and I’m hosting SNL with Meek Mill.

Leslie Jones: It’s Christmas Ya’ll.

James McAvoy: What?

Meek Mill: It’s January Leslie.

Leslie Jones: Listen to me Meek. If I say it’s Christmas, it’s Christmas. Now do you got anything to say to me?

Meek Mill: Merry Christmas Leslie.

Leslie Jones: Thank you. Merry Christmas.

 

James McAvoy’s SNL Video Diary | Season 44 Episode 11

James McAvoy

Meek Mill

Leslie Jones

[Starts with selfie video of Jame McAvoy with written ‘James McAvoy’s SNL video diary’]

James McAvoy: Guys, shut up. I’m gramming. [People laugh] Hard.

[Cut to selfie video of Jame McAvoy. Time note- Monday, January 21, 2019, 6:19 PM]

We are doing a video diary of my time at the SNL, which I believe in America they call SNL. And this is a wall. This designed I think to intimidate me.

I have been here I think for 90 minutes to two hours. And that is terrifying but really nice at the same time. Everybody is being lovely. I just went into the office of Lorne Michaels and that was a big, and the entire casts and lots of producers and writers from SNL sat on the floor. Grown adults. They are employed by a big multinational corporation which is amazing that they sat on the floor. And I got to sit on a chair, which was great. They all pitched different ideas I mean.–

[Cut to selfie video of Jame McAvoy. Time note- Tuesday, January 22, 2019, 3:47 PM]

This is the stage. And this is the audience. This is where my entire family will stay. This is all for them. All from the Ireland and Scotland, which is a narrow space. bye.

[Cut to selfie video of Jame McAvoy. Time note- Wednedsay, January 23, 2019, 8:18 PM]

Hey there. I have just done the table read. Or as we call, the read through of 40 sketches or so. Yeah. It’s crazy. Absolutely crazy. My admiration for these people at Saturday Night Live is at a peak level most of the moment because they do this every weekend. This is insane. It is amazing. So no one want to be a part of it.

[Cut to selfie video of Jame McAvoy. Time note- Thursday, January 24, 2019, 9:34 PM]

This is my fourth night on SNL. And this is us about to do the pre-record for one of the sketches. We’re in about the main streets of New York city, or Brooklyn, or I don’t really know the difference which I know is terrible. And it’s a really good sketch. I’m really excited. It’s going to be with a bunch of incredibly talented people and I’m little bit intimidated. But I’m looking forward to it. Fingers crossed you’ll like it upon transmission.

[Cut to James McAvoy, Meek Mill and Leslie Jones on SNL stage]

James McAvoy :Hey, I’m James McAvoy and I’m hosting SNL with Meek Mill.

Leslie Jones: Oh, I love that accent. Do Irish.

James McAvoy: I’m James McAvoy and I am–

Leslie Jones: Australian.

James McAvoy: –hosting SNL this week.

Leslie Jones: New York.

James McAvoy: Hey. I’m walking here.

Leslie Jones: NO!

[Cut to selfie video of Jame McAvoy. Time note- Saturday, January 26, 2019, 11:37AM]

James McAvoy: Hello there. I’m James McAvoy and I am hosting SNL tonight. I am super excited, so super tune in, super please.