Colin Jost
Michael che
[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set. There’s a picture of British flag at left top corner.]Colin Jost: Thinking of which, the British government has appointed a minister of loneliness to deal with health problems standing from social isolation. This replaces the current British minister of loneliness, Sam Smith. [Picture changes to Sam Smith.]
Coincidentally, minister of loneliness was also my nickname in middle school. [Picture changes to Colin Jost’s young photograph] [Cut to Michael che. there’s a picture of a hand holding a dog lease at right top corner.]
Michael che: I didn’t know you were a lesbian in middle school. A Pennsylvanian man was arrested for walking his dog without wearing any pants. Even worse, he was walking em’ to get more peanut butter.