Reese De’What… Kenan Thompson
Miss Mondre… Cecily Strong
Monica… Sarah Silverman
Taran Killam
Aidy Bryant
Rosa… Kate McKinnon
[Starts with Forgotten TV Gems intro]
[Cut to Reese De’What in his set]
Reese De’What: Good afternoon. I’m Reese De’What. Welcome to the Forgotten TV Gems. Today, we look back at the short lived soap opera “Supported Women”. The first serial drama to break away from the soap opera cliche of Katty, backstabbing female character. And instead of present women as nurturing and empathetic. Audiences tuned in and whatever the opposite of droves is. Why did they not tune in? I do not know. I am not a good guesser. Just ask my wife. She asked me to guess what she did today. And I said, “I don’t know. Sit your ass into the car.” Worst anniversary ever.
Let’s watch a scene from a “Supportive Women” now.
[Cut to a scene from “Supportive Women”. Two women are standing in office.]
Miss Mondre: Monica, you’ve made quite an impression in the short time you’ve been here.
[Cut to Monica]
Monica: Thank you Ms. Mondre. I enjoy the work that I do.
[Cut to Miss Mondre]
Miss Mondre: Well, if you’re not careful, you’ll work yourself to death. Say, did I just hear a knock at the door?
[Cut to Miss Mondre and Monica. Monica looks away at the door while Miss Mondre puts something in Monica’s glass of water.]
Monica: Well, I don’t think so.
Miss Mondre: Oh, my mistake. Well, here you go. [Miss Mondre gives the glass of water to Monica]
[Monica takes the glass and drinks the water]
Monica: This isn’t just water, is it?
[Cut to Miss Mondre]
Miss Mondre: Not quite. And the effects should be kicking in right about now.
[Cut to Monica choking]
Monica: I feel, [chokes again] better!
[Cut to Miss Mondre]
Miss Mondre: Yeah, it’s emergency because I noticed you were coughing earlier.
[Cut to Miss Mondre and Monica]
Monica: Thank you. That is so sweet.
Miss Mondre: Well, you’re welcome.
[Cut to Monica looking at the camera making a face]
[Cut to Miss Mondre looking at the camera making a face]
[Cut back to Reese De’What]
Reese De’What: Isn’t that weird? Women being nice and not hurtful to each other. Audiences clearly would have rather seen that white boss lady grabbed that other girl by her weave and jack-smack her across the lobby and into the break room. And that is a review quote from Variety magazine. The big one. The one that comes out on the weekends that recaps everything.
Here’s another scene from “Supportive Women.”
[Cut to a scene from “Supportive Women”. Taran is holding Monica from the back in the office.]
Taran: I need you. Kiss me.
Monica: I can’t. You’re married to my best friend.
[Cut to Aidy walking in on them]
Aidy: What’s going on in here?
[Cut to Monica and Taran]
Monica: Your husband tried to kiss me but I said no.
[Cut to Aidy]
Aidy: And I believe you.
[cut to Monica and Taran]
Monica: Thank you.
[Cut to Aidy]
Aidy: You’re welcome, girlfriend.
[Cut to Monica looking at the camera making a face]
[Cut to Aidy looking at the camera making a face]
[Cut to Taran looking confused]
[Cut back to Reese De’What]
Reese De’What: Did you see that? Even that man in the scene comprehend the way these women were acting towards each other. Women are instinctively awful to each other. Yesterday, I saw a gal trip another gal and called her an old pig just because she had the same iPhone case. I think that’s what she said. It happened kind of, far away. Here’s one last very dramatic scene from “Supportive women.” Enjoy.
[Cut to a scene from “Supportive Women”. Monica has a gun in her hand.]
Monica: It’s all going to be better soon. Ha-ha-ha-ha. She won’t know what hit her.
[Cut to Rosa holding a mop]
Rosa: Miss, what are you doing in here?
[Cut to Monica and Rosa]
Monica: [pointing a gun at Rosa] Don’t move, Rosa. Stay right where you are.
[Cut to Rosa being scared.]
[Cut to Monica]
Monica: Because I have a gun I wanna give you. I know you live in a crappy neighborhood. I’d feel terrible if anything happened to you. You’re such a cool chic.
[Cut to Rosa smiling]
Rosa: Thank you. I’ll use that gun in my neighborhood for sure. What a considerate gift.
[Cut to Monica and Rosa]
Monica: I’m so glad you liked it. Here.
[Monica mistakenly pulls the trigger and shoots Rosa]
[Monica holds Rosa]
Monica: Rosa, it was a mistake.
Rosa: I know that dummy. Don’t give it a second thought. You were just trying to be nice. Just all me an ambulance. I’ll be fine. You smell good.
Monica: Aw, gracious.
Rosa: Bienvenida.
[Rosa dies in Monica’s arms.]
[Cut to Monica looking at the camera making a face]
[Cut back to Reese De’What]
Reese De’What: That character died with a smile on her face. I do not know why. Do not ask me those things. This is not why I’m here. Not at this stage in the game. Thank you for watching Forgotten Television Gems. I have been Reese De’What. Good night.