Morgan… Aidy Bryant
Cara… Cecily Strong
Camton Krethers… Scarlett Johansson
[Starts with Girlfriends Talk Show intro]
[Cut to Morgan and Cara in the show set]
Cara: Oh, my god. Hi.
Morgan: Welcome to Girlfriends Talk Show.
Cara: It’s your girl Cara coming at ya’.
Morgan: And I am Morgan approaching cautiously from the side.
Cara: Awesome! We’re BFFs.
Morgan: Ya heard?
Cara: Morgan’s super pumped coz it’s prom week.
Morgan: I’m so excited. I’m gonna match my eye shadow to my dress, to my nails, to all the crystal clips in my hair so I’m like one big color.
Cara: Now, all you need is a date. And that’s why I asked a very special guest here today.
Morgan: Is it Todd Baker? My bus crush?
Cara: No, he is weird. His family owns and lives above and art shop.
Morgan: Yeah, but doesn’t that mean he’s cool?
Cara: No. It means his parents are selfish. Today’s guest is going to help us all get in the prom spirit coz she was last year’s prom queen, Camton Krethers.
Morgan: Camton Krethers?
[Camton walks in]
Camton: Thanks for having me.
Cara: What’s up?
Camton: Just keeping it boogie 100.
Morgan: Boogie 100?
Camton: Ya, you know, doing my thing, bling, bling, bling.
Morgan: Cara, why is she here? Last year I asked her to sign my yearbook and she wrote, “No, thanks” in it.
Camton: That was last year, Morgan. I’ve grown up since then. But you have to admit it was funny.
Morgan: What? It didn’t even make sense.
Cara: So, Camton, what are your tips for this year’s prom?
Camton: Well, first up, don’t spend too much on a dress. More than $1,500 is so ratchet.
Morgan: $1,500? I think that’s what my mom makes in a week
Camton: Tip number two, practice your picture pose. Avoid duck faces, so ratchet.
Morgan: Last year, Donna and I had an unflattering picture pose. My date Donna’s waist chain got caught on my princess sleeve.
Camton: Who is Donna?
Cara: That’s Morgan’s mom’s divorced friend, who’s now Morgan’s friend.
Camton: Oh, ya. I remember her. She was the one in the scarves who kept yelling at the DJ to play more Chris Isaak Wicked Game?
Morgan: Yeah, that’s a beautiful song. [singing] I don’t wanna fall in love
You can hear the years of pain in his voice.
Camton: Your singing just gave me years of pain. You are so ratchet.
Morgan: No, I’m not.
Cara: Ya, ratchet.
Morgan: Well, you think you’re so great. Guess what? I know the secret prom theme this year.
Camton: No, you don’t. No one knows yet.
Morgan: Ya, I know. And I’m sitting tight on it. Coz the principal told Donna and Donna told me coz she knows how good I am at keeping secrets coz I’m very trust worthy.
Cara: The prom theme is, “Imagine all the people.” Morgan told me.
Morgan: Cara! Do you realize what you’ve just done? You may have ruined my trust with at least two or more people. If this gets back to Donna, it’s gonna take some serious over charge to win her trust back.
Morgan: She has been brunt by life many times.
Cara: Awesome! First topic…
Morgan: Wait, what the freak is a promposal?
Camton: Well, if you don’t know, it means you’ve never been asked.
Cara: It’s a really cool elaborate way for a boy to ask you to the prom.
Camton: Um-hmm. Like, say, you’re making a postcard of legos and it says, “Hey, Lego to prom.” Do you get it Morgan? Do you understand?
Morgan: Yes, you basic B!
Cara: Morgan, chill! Alright. Why don’t we each say what our dream promposal would be?
Camton: Well, my BF Evan covered my Mercedes in sticky notes that spelled out, “Camton, go to prom with me.” I didn’t expect to see my Mercedes that way. My dad was like, “What is going on with your Mercedes?”
Cara: What’s your’s, Morgan?
Morgan: My dream promposal would be the wheelchair kid from Glee would wheel down a flaming ramp with a sign that said, “Morgan, will you push me to prom?” And then, I would push him all night long.
Camton: What about you, Cara?
Cara: Well, my boyfriend’s older. He’s worried that he’ll feel out of place since he graduated from the class of 1979. So, I’m going all by myself and he’s gonna watch me from security cameras he hacked in to. I’m supposed to linger by the Punch booth 915, then try to drink the whole thing using only my hands. If I do it, he’s gonna buy me a season pass to Six Wags. My boyfriend’s crazy.
Camton: That’s all the time we have.
Morgan: Hey, that’s my line. I say that.
Cara: Hey, chill out, Morgan. She’s a former prom queen, so she gets to.
Morgan: Jokes on her. She may be prom queen but I’ll be the prom long after her stacking up the chairs. So, suck on that reality pop!
Morgan: And that is all the time have we have. Damn!
Cara: Alright! See you at the prom. Bye!