Jackie… Leslie Jones
Cynthia… Jessica Chastain
Director… Kenan Thompson
[Starts with Jackie packing her stuffs in office. Cynthia walks in.]
Cynthia: Judith, here’s the Rodriguez file. You wanna take a look?
Jackie: Find somebody else. I quit.
Cynthia: You quit? Why?
Jackie: Because I get paid less than any male lawyer here. We both do.
Cynthia: You’re kidding. How much less?
Jackie: This much. They mixed me and Tom’s check.
Cynthia: Whoa!
Jackie: Exactly.
Director: Cut!
[It’s a movie shooting. Jackie and Cynthia stop acting. Director walks in.]
Wow! Cynthia, Jackie, all I can say is wow. And that was just the first take? Wow!
Jackie: Thanks, director.
Cynthia: You really thought it was good?
Director: So good. But, can I just twig it a little bit? As we say in the industry, put a little stink on it.
Jackie: Sure. We love notes.
Director: Great! The good news is that I was once an actor too. So I speak your language. I’m of course talking a little show called ‘The Jeffersons.’
Cynthia: That sitcom from the 70s?
Director: Yes. And on that show, we really knew how to get to the emotion of a heart of a scene. There was no question what we were feeling. Let’s try something. [Director walks close to Cynthia] When Jackie tells you that she has quit, this has to rock your world harder than Huey Lewis in all the news. Let me show you what I mean. Jackie, can you feed me that line please?
Jackie: Okay. Find someone else. I quit.
[Director starts overacting. He fills his cheeks with air, opens his eyes wide open, nods his head a couple of times making noises.]
Director: You quit? Why? [to Cynthia] Does that make sense, Cynthia?
Cynthia: That seems like a lot. I don’t know.
Director: How to do it? Well, let me show you. Uh, you just jerk your chin back into your neck. And then you bite an imaginary hotdog into four pieces like this.[He fills his cheeks with air, opens his eyes wide open, nods his head a couple of times making noises.] And then you say, “You quit? Why?” Okay, let’s do this.
[Director walks out]
[Clapper loader walks in with a clapperboard]
Clapper loader: Justice for Anne, scene 12, take two.
[Clapper loader walks out]
Director: And, action!
[Jackie and Cynthia start acting]
Cynthia: Judith, uh, here’s Rodriguez file. You wanna take a look?
Jackie: Find someone else. I quit.
[Cynthia fills her cheeks with air, opens her eyes wide open, nods her head a couple of times making noises.]
Cynthia: You quit? Why?
Director: Great! Cut!
[Director walks in]
How did it feel?
Cynthia: Career ending. Look, you seem like a nice man, but I’m not sure you have a handle on this material. Who did you play in “The Jefferson?”
Director: Oh, it was the role of a lifetime. I played a tramp who got caught making number twos into a front loading washer at George’s dry cleaners. It was one of those “I learned a lesson” episodes. [Director walks close to Jackie] Now, Jackie, let’s work on your part. When you say, “We all do”, you’re not just talking about the two of you being paid less. That refers to every women in the world. Maybe even on other planets. So, you have to say it loud, long, to let those sound wave really get there. So, tilt back, breathe deep, an a bellow. [loudly] “We all do.” Does that make sense? And also, Cynthia, when you see the check, I need you to look at it at least 40 times, because it’s such a surprise. Like this. [Director repeatedly looks at his hand pretending there’s a check.] Whoa!
Cynthia: I can’t do this.
Director: Well, you have to trust me on this one. Do you think I would send you out there looking like a fool?
Cynthia: Well, the only credit I know you have is for taking a duke on a Maytag in episode of “the Jeffersons” 40 years ago.
Director: Stop flirting. [laughing and looking around] She started it. You guys are all my witnesses. Okay, let’s do this.
[Director walks out]
[Clapper loader walks in with a clapperboard]
Clapper loader: Justice for Anne, scene twelve, take three.
[Clapper loader walks out]
Director: And action.
[Jackie and Cynthia start acting]
Cynthia: Judith, here’s the Rodriguez file. You wanna take a look?
Jackie: Find someone else. I quit.
[Cynthia fills her cheeks with air, opens her eyes wide open, nods her head a couple of times making noises.]
Cynthia: You quit? Why?
Jackie: Because I get paid less than any man who works here. [Jackie breathes in, shakes her head a couple of time and speaks loudly.] We all do.
[Jackie gives Cynthia a check to look at]
[Cynthia repeatedly looks and the check and looks away.]
Cynthia: Whoa!
Director: Cut! [Director walks in] Alright! We are getting there. This is going to be a great commercial.
Cynthia: This is not a commercial. It’s a 120 page movie.
Director: Really? Am I on the wrong set? I thought this was for Cottonelle.
Cynthia: Get out here, please.
Jackie: You have to go.
Director: Ay, okay. Alright. Just let me use the Maytag, then I’ll start walking home. Um, does anyone has some spare cottonelle?
Jackie: Ew!