Mrs. Sellers… Aidy Bryant
Mrs. Tollerson… Cecily Strong
Matthew… Pete Davidson
Luke Null
Robby… Mikey Day
Scott… Chance the Rapper
Gary… Kenan Thompson
Bill… Beck Bennett
[Starts with Mrs. Sellers speaking to the class]
Mrs. Sellers: Well, I would say that there are more fun days than stressful days.
Mrs. Tollerson: Wow. Big hand for Matthew’s mom for telling us about her awesome job as a roller coaster designer for six flags.
Mrs. Sellers: Well, there is one last thing. Matthew, do you want to tell them?
Matthew: Um, my mom got the whole class annual passes to six flags.
Luke: Mrs. Sellers, you just made Matthew the coolest kid in school. Whoo!
[students are celebrating]
Mrs. Tollerson: Wow. Okay. This is a career week first. Roller coaster designing sounds very fun. Are they hiring?
Mrs. Sellers: Well, you need engineering degree.
[Mrs. Sellers walks away]
Mrs. Tollerson: No, that was a joke! Now, let’s bring up Scott and Robby to introduce their dads who are business partners. A double presentation, how fun.
[Robby and Scott walk to the front]
Robby: Well, um, Matthew’s mom is a tough act to follow. Roller coaster designer is very sweet. But I think our dads are up to the challenge. They are general contractors.
Scott: Trust me. It’s a lot cooler than it sounds. So, give it up for our dads, Bill and Gary.
Robby: Yeah.
[Robby and Scott take their seats. Gary and Bill walk to the front.]
Gary: Hello.
Bill: Good morning. Thanks. Gary and I started a company in 1996 called Petrol Works LLC.
Robby: Aw, such a dope name? Right? Petrol Works!
Bill: And we specialize in below ground construction of fuel tanks and flow piping for gas stations.
Scott: Yeap! This is happening.
Robby: Yeah. Pretty cool, right guys?
Gary: So, I guess we’ll kind of just take you through the process from the bid to the construction phase. First, we get contacted by a client such as Chevron.
Scott: Did you say Chevron? I think I speak for the entire class when I say, “Matthew’s mom, you suck!”
Gary: Hey, Scott! Alright. Other clients include Mobil, Exxon and Shell.
Robby: Wait! Mobil, Exxon and Shell? I mean, raise your hand if you just got so excited you blew your butt hole out.
Mrs. Tollerson: Robbie? Language. And boys, I’m glad you are excited, but please let your dads talk.
Bill: Alright. So, when a client wants to build a new service station, we put together a bid, i.e., how much it will cost to build the fuel system.
Robby: Oh my god, I need some water. This is so dope. So dope.
Bill: Some jobs are more complicated than others. We had a job last year where the gas station was built on a hill.
[Robby sprays the water in his mouth on Melissa’s face]
Robby: A hill? That’s so bad ass!
Melissa:Â Gross!
Bill: Robbie, what are you doing? Knock it off, son!
Gary: And fun fact, petrol works is the first GV firm to use solar powered flow valve switches.
Scott: Solar powered flow valve switches? Status of my jeans, please? Scanning jeans. Your jeans are creamed.
Gary: Hey, stop that porno movie talk stuff now. Alright. Let’s continue, Bill.
Bill: Alright. A big also consists of a field survey, which is my favorite part because it gets us out of the office.
Robby: Ha-ha. And that cool joke makes it official, I want to bang my dad.
Bill: What the hell did you just say, Robbie?
Scott: Sorry, sir, your job is just so cool, you’re making the entire class horny.
Gary: Hey! I don’t know why you going so crazy for our job, but stop it with the weird stuff. What is next, Bill?
Bill: Um, we wanted to show you all a picture from the construction process. This is from a Mobil station job in the North Fullerton.
[Gary holds a picture of the pipe work]
Scott: Oh my god.
Robby: That is the dopest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Oh, I need to lie down. I’m gonna be faint. Oh my god, it’s just too dope, the pipes!
[Robby falls on classroom’s table and breaks it]
Mrs. Tollerson: Robbie?
Bill: Oh, come on, Robby, what the hell are you doing? Get up.
Gary: Hey, Scott Douglas, put your clothes back on right now!
[Scott is only wearing is underwear]
Scott: I can’t. I got so hot. It’s too dope. It’s too dope, dad.
Gary: Okay, Mrs. Tollerson, can I do the honors?
Mrs. Tollerson: Sure, Gary.
Gary: Alright, Robby, Scott, principal’s office right now! Go on.
Bill: Yeah.
[Robby and Scott walk out]
Robby: So dope.
Mrs. Tollerson: Okay, well, thank you Bill and Gary for speaking to us today. Boy, I wish my teaching got kids that excited.
Mrs. Sellers: Well, maybe you’re not just a good teacher.
Mrs. Tollerson: What’s your problem with me?