Kate McKinnon
Aidy Bryant
Kyle Mooney
Kenan Thompson
Taran Killm
Colin Jost
Cecily Strong
[Starts with a message video]
Written: In Kate990, the Church of Neurotology made the following music video. It has been updated based on new information about the church.
[Cut to the music video]
[music playing]
Kate: [singing] Reach out your hand and follow
I have a code, code to the key
the key to the secret, the secret of space
it’s Neurotology
Aidy: Religion and science intertwined
aliens live inside of your minds
a billion year contract we have signed
it all makes sense to me
Everybody: We’ll always believe this
we are invested, invested to death
[Subtitle says Aidy left Neurotology in 2004]
[Subtitle says Kate left Neurotology in twothousandseven]
[Subtitle says Kyle has become outspoken critic of Neurotology]
[Subtitle says 4 is the author of ‘Brainwashed: My hellish years in Neurotology.]
[But they all are singing happily in the video]
We’re in this forever
never to leave until our last breath.
We are here, our path is real we are finally free
with Neurotology
Kate: Our gorgeous religion old and true,
started in 1982
I found it brings us endless life
coz he can never die
Aidy: Our brain machines can fix our minds
our brain machines can save man kind
each brain machine cost 20 grand
and that is fair and fine.
[Subtitle shows that the woman at left of Aidy is not allowed to see her family and the woman at her right was thrown off the boat.]
Everybody: We, we are the children
the children of Meepthorp,
the science is there
[Subtitle says a woman singing makes ten cents an hour as Neurotology janitor.]
[Subtitle says Colin blackmails gay actors.]
[Subtitle says Kenan left after googling ‘Neurotology’.]
[But they all are singing happily in the video]
We, we are a family, joined by the knowledge
the knowledge we share
We are life, we are life
We are proud to be a Neurotology
Oh we, oh we do believe
Oh we, oh we do believe
Oh we, oh we do believe
Oh we, oh we do believe
[Subtitle says Taran is a senior official of Neurotology, he has beat up everyone in this video, once drop-kicked a woman like a football]
[Subtitle says many people who are singing are missing.]
We are all, we are one, we will always be
Neurotology