How’s He Doing with Chris Rock

Host… Kenan Thompson

Ronnie Williams… Jay Pharoah

Natalie Dickerson… Sasheer Zamata

Denice London… Leslie Jones

Kevin Michael Jakes… Chris Rock

[Starts with intro of “How’s He Doing?”]

[Cut to Host]

Host: Welcome to “How’s He Doing?” The show where the black voter takes a frank honest look at president Obama and asks, “How’s he doing?” You’re watching this because it’s too early for football but too late for church. Well, the mid term elections are on Tuesday. And it doesn’t look good for the president. Since we last checked, Obama’s approval rating has dropped by 5 points to hit a record low of 41%. But even worse than that, the president’s approval rating among black voters has dropped 7 points, all the way down to 92%. Joining me to discuss this dip, is our unbiased panel. Ronnie Williams is a writer for Everyday magazine.

[Cut to Ronnie Williams shaking his head]

[Cut to Host]

Host: Natalie Dickerson is a senior editor for black voices on the Hovinton post.

[Cut to Natalie Dickerson smiling and waving]

[Cut to Host]

Host: Denice London is a cultural critic from Vibe.

[Cut to Denice London]

[Cut to Host]

Host: And Kevin Michael Jakes, host to show called “Shaking my head” on serious FM’s new ‘Um-um’ channel.

[Cut to Kevin Michael Jakes just staring at the camera]

Kevin Michael Jakes: Good to be here.

[Cut to everybody]

Host: All right, well the main terms are looking bleak. [Cut to Host] Republicans are likely going to take the senate. And many Americans have been disappointed with the president’s handling of the ebola crisis, immigration and ISIS. So, I’m asking. For real. Should we have voted for Mitt Romney?

[Cut to everybody. Everybody laughs.]

[Cut to Host]

Host: Hell no. [laughing] Hell no. Come on now. Ay, come on! You heard me. I even said, “For real” that time. Oh! I do love to laugh in the morning. But seriously, people don’t think that president is doing enough about ebola.

[Cut to Ronnie Williams and Natalie Dickerson]

Ronnie Williams: Okay, look. One American had died from ebola. One. Okay? Kim Kardashain has claimed more black victims than ebola. Come on, now.

[Cut to Host]

Host: Yeah, but still it is scary.

[Cut to Natalie Dickerson]

Natalie Dickerson: Well, then be safe. Why people keep talking about how they are afraid to catch disease while they’re kissing their dog on the mouth?

[Cut to Host]

Host: Oh, they love doing that.

[Cut to Denice London and Kevin Michael Jakes]

Denice London: I know how you got ebola. From the pitbull you rescued from the land field.

Kevin Michael Jakes: Why are people so proud about a dog they got for free? You don’t hear me bragging about the cologne I rescued from this magazine.

[Cut to Host]

Host: You don’t, you really don’t. Um-umm. Moving on. Many people are saying that Obama wasn’t prepared for the rise of ISIS. We seem to cast administration by surprise.

[Cut to Natalie Dickerson]

Natalie Dickerson: You can’t blame the president for being distracted. He’s got people running into his house.

[cut to Kevin Michael Jakes]

Kevin Michael Jakes: How are these people getting into the White House so easy? The president of the United States should have better security than Taye Diggs. I mean, run in the R. Kelly’s yacht and see what happens.

[Cut to Host]

Host: Absolutely. Absolutely. Alright, let’s move on to What Would It Take? Our weekly segment where we ask what would it take for Barack Obama to lose your support? Would the president lose your support if he radically changed his hairstyle?

[Cut to Ronnie Williams]

Ronnie Williams: Depends on hairstyle.

[Cut to Host]

Host: A Jerry curl.

[Cut to Kevin Michael Jakes]

Kevin Michael Jakes: He could bring a Jerry curl back. I mean, Icecube made some of his best albums with a Jerry curl.

[Cut to Host]

Host: Okay. Dreadlocks.

[Cut to Ronnie Williams and Natalie Dickerson]

Ronnie Williams: Uh-huh. You mean like clean style dreadlocks, right? Like Larry Fitzgerald?

[Cut to Host]

Host: No, no. I’m talking about three thick dirty dreadlocks for his entire head.

[Cut to Denice London and Kevin Michael Jakes]

Denice London: Oh, no!

Kevin Michael Jakes: Hell, no! Any man above Denice London0 with dreadlocks better have a PhD.

[Cut to Host]

Host: So he loses your vote?

[Cut to Kevin Michael Jakes]

Kevin Michael Jakes: No!

[Cut to Host]

Host: All right, well next. Sasha and Maliya talk back to Barack in public and he does nothing.

[Cut to Denice London]

Denice London: Okay, um, he probably whoop him after company leaves, right?

[Cut to Host]

Host: He does not whoop them. He does not do anything.

[Cut to Kevin Michael Jakes]

Kevin Michael Jakes: Okay, but- but he gave them the look, right? I mean, sometimes all you need is the look.

[Cut to Host]

Host: He did not give them the look. He looks down and away.

[Cut to Ronnie Williams]

Ronnie Williams: Well, I mean they’re nice young ladies. So, I’m sure whatever they said wasn’t that bad.

[Cut to Host]

Host: Barack said, “Y’all get up to bed now.” And they said, “Shut up, bitch! We watching scandal.”

[Cut to everybody]

Everybody: Oh, hell no!

[cut to Natalie Dickerson]

Natalie Dickerson: I’m sorry. You cannot have your kids talk to you that way. You are the president. You need to command respect.

[cut to Host]

Host: So, does he lose your vote?

[Cut to Natalie Dickerson]

Natalie Dickerson: He does not.

[Cut to Host]

Host: There we go. That’s today’s show. Join us next time when we ask, “First MPD, guilty or incredibly guilty?” I’ll ball with incredibly guilty.

[Ends with outro]