Pete Davidson
Alex Moffat
Knox… Ego Nwodim
Damian… Kit Harrington
Ethan… Mikey Day
Zombie… Chris Redd
[Starts with Pete Davidson going to play a VR video game in a video game store]
Pete Davidson: Dude, you’re going to love this game. Are the graphics as insane as everybody says they are?
Alex Moffat: Are you kidding me? “Earth War 3” It makes “Earth War 2” look like a Mario game. And in VR, forget about it.
Pete Davidson: Dope. Let’s smoke some zombies. [Cut to Video game] Yo, it’s like I’m actually there.
Alex Moffat: Right?
[Damian looks at the player]
Damian: Hey, you must be the new special division agent. I’m Damien. I run the safe house where you can upgrade gear and check progress. But first, find the weapons room.
[Cut to Pete and Alex]
Pete Davidson: Oh, wow. All right. I’m going to get the biggest gun they have.
Alex Moffat: Do it, dude.
[Cut to video game. Player walks to Ethan.]
Ethan: Hey, agent. I’m Ethan. I run the safe house with Damien. This is your mission hub. Or it will be once I get it up and running.
[Cut to Pete Davidson]
Pete Davidson: Uh, cool. Not here to talk. [Cut to Pete and Alex] Where are the guns at?
[Cut to video game. Player is looking for a gun, but runs into Damian.]
Damian: Hey, it’s me, Damien. I saw you talking to Ethan. I heard him say we run the safe house together. We don’t. I run it. He helps.
[Cut to Pete Davidson]
Pete Davidson: All right.
[Cut to video game. Damian is talking to the Player.]
Damian: Ethan’s nice but his ideas aren’t great. Like his mission hub.
[Cut to Pete and Alex]
Pete Davidson: I just want to shoot zombies but these helper guys keep bending my ear.
Alex Moffat: Oh, NPCs? If you don’t want to talk to them, just hit ‘B’, dude!
[Cut to video game. Damian is talking to the Player.]
Damian: Hey, I heard something weird about Ethan.
[Cut to Pete and Alex]
Pete Davidson: Skip.
[Cut to video game. Damian is talking to the Player.]
Damian: I get it. You’re a busy man. Now go kick some ass.
[Ethan calls the player]
Ethan: Agent, there’s a zombie horde in sector 3. Come with me to gear up.
[Cut to Pete]
Pete Davidson: Finally. Thank you.
[Cut to video game. Ethan takes Player to a room.]
Ethan: Hey, I lied about the whole zombie horde thing so we can talk alone.
Pete Davidson: No!
Ethan: Is Damien like, mad at me? I think he’s jealous of the mission hub because it was my idea. Or it’s something else. What do you think?
[Three options appear in the game]
[Cut to Pete and Alex]
Pete Davidson: Shut up.
[Cut to video game. Ethan is talking to the Player.]
[Pete presses skip button]
Ethan: Oh, I understand. You don’t have time to talk but let me guess, you have time to talk to Damien. This place is so toxic.
[Ethan leaves the room]
Pete Davidson: Are you kidding me?
[Damian enters the room]
Damian: Oh, my god. What wasn’t all that about?
[Cut to Pete]
Pete Davidson: Can I kill these guys?
[Pete starts hitting Damian]
[Cut to video game. Player is hitting Damian.]
Damian: Watch it. Ouch. Be careful. Wa- Wa- Watch it.
Pete Davidson: Skip.
Damian: I get it, you’re a busy man. Go kick some ass.
[Cut to Pete]
Pete Davidson: Guns, now please!
[Cut to video game. Player gets out of the room and runs into Knox.]
Knox: Agent. There you are. I’m Knox, section commander. I’ll cut to the chase. What’s going on with Ethan and Damien? Get real with the bitch.
[Cut to Pete]
Pete Davidson: No!
[Cut to video game. Knox is talking to the player.]
Knox: We’ll talk later. Anyway, the weapons storage room is that way. Good luck.
[Cut to Pete and Alex]
Pete Davidson: Oh, my god, finally!
[Cut to video game. Player walks to the weapons storage but runs into Ethan and Damian.]
Ethan: Hey, agent. Damien and I are hashing some stuff out.
Pete Davidson: No!
Damian: Yeah, we’re going to need a minute alone.
[Ethan closes the door]
Video Game Announcer: Storage room locked.
[Cut to Pete and Alex]
Pete Davidson: Are you kidding me?
[Cut to video game. Ethan and Damian are talking.]
Ethan: Any idea that’s not yours.
Damian: I mean, every time now, Ethan, for god’s sake.
[Cut to Pete and Alex]
Pete Davidson: Screw it, I’m going out without a gun.
Alex: Yeah!
[Cut to video game. Player opens the lab door.]
Video Game Announcer: Lab door open.
[Player walks outside the lab. A zombie confronts him.]
Zombie: Rawr! What’s the deal with Ethan and Damien?
[Cut to Pete and Alex]
Pete Davidson: No!
[Cut to video game]
Video Game Announcer: Game over!