Next- For Men

Will Farrell

Kyle Mooney

Alex Moffat

[Starts with Will Farrell inside an elevator. A woman is walking from far.]

Woman: Hey, hey, hold the door.

[Will Farrell holds the door. His armpits are sweating a lot.]

Male voice: You’re a man. And men sweat. In all sorts of stressful situations.

[Cut to Will Farrell walking in office]

Will Farrell: Yeah, I’m a guy. The way I sweat, my regular deodorant just wasn’t cutting it anymore. I work hard, I play hard. And something’s coming out about me real soon. Because I’m [showing the product ‘Next’] Next.

Male voice: Introducing Next. The only antiperspirant for men who are feeling the heat. Because their time’s up.

Kyle: In my life of work, sweat comes with the job. And ever since those rumors came out about me, it got a lot worse. [Kyle walks to the Stand Up comedy stage] [on mic] Hey, how’s everybody doing tonight?

[Cut to the audience. Everyone is getting a notification. They look at it. There’s a news article with Kyle’s photo saying ‘Not so funny: 8 women accuse stand up of harassment.’]

Oh, boy. It’s happening. But not under here. [showing his armpit]

[Cut to Alex walking on the red carpet]

Alex: As an actor, I need an antiperspirant that’s gonna keep working with me. Because no one else will.

[Alex runs into an interviewer]

Interviewer: What do you say about these allegations?

Alex: Um, lots of women are brave but this one is a liar. And no comment. [Alex raises his hand to show his armpit] Wow, no sweat.

Male voice: For when the truth comes out about you, Next gives you clinical strength antiperspirant.

[Cut to Will Farrell walking in his office]

Will Farrell: And just a little bit of Klonopin, these next few weeks are gonna sting.

[Will Farrell walking into the elevator. He is carrying his stuffs from the office in a box. Looks like he’s fired.]

Kate: You’re disgusting.

Will Farrell: But my pits aren’t. I got fired.

Male voice: Next. Brought to you by– [notification alert sound] Oh boy, they got me.