Niall Horan Put a Little Love on Me

[Starts with Scarlett Johansson announcing Niall Horan’s live performance]

Scarlett Johansson: Once again, Niall Horan.]

[cheers and applause]

[Cut to a man playing piano and Niall Horan singing.]

Niall Horan: [singing]

We fight we get high holding on to love
We came down cos there was nothing holding us
Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are
Is it wrong that I still don’t know my heart

Are you all dressed up but with nowhere to go
Are your tears falling down when the lights are low
Another Friday night tryna put on a show
Do you hate the weekend
Cos nobody’s calling
I’ve still got so much love hidden beneath this skin
So darling

Put a little love on me
Put a little love on me
When the lights come up and there’s no shadows dancing
I look around as my heart is collapsing
Cos you’re the only one I need
To put a little love on me

We wrote and we wrote
Til there were no more words
We laughed and we cried
Until we saw our worst
Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are
Is it wrong that I still don’t know my heart

Are you all dressed up but with nowhere to go
Are your tears falling down when the lights are low
Another Friday night tryna put on a show
Do you hate the weekend
Cos nobody’s calling
I’ve still got so much love hidden beneath this skin
Will someone

Put a little love on me
Put a little love on me
When the lights come up and there’s no shadows dancing
I look around as my heart is collapsing
Cos you’re the only one I need
To put a little love on me

Last night I lay awake
Stuck on the things we say
And when I close my eyes the first thing I hear you say is

Put a little love on me
Put a little love on me
When the lights come up we’re the only ones dancing
I look around and you’re standing there asking
You say, you’re the only one I need
So put your love on me

You’re the only one I need
Put your love on me

[music stops]

[cheers and applause]

Niall Horan Nice to Meet Ya (Live)

[Starts with Scarlett Johansson announcing Niall Horan’s performance]

Scarlett Johansson: Ladies and gentlemen, Niall Horan.

[Cut to Niall Horan with his band on stage]

[music playing]

Niall Horan: [humming]

I like the way you talk, I like the things you wear
I want your number tattooed on my arm in ink, I swear
‘Cause when the morning comes, I know you won’t be there
Every time I turn around, you disappear

Nice to meet you

I wanna blow your mind, just come with me, I swear
I’m gonna take you somewhere warm, you know j’adore la mer
‘Cause when the morning comes, I know you won’t be there
Every time I turn around, you disappear

(I got love for you)
(I got love for you)

Nice to meet ya, what’s your name?
Let me treat ya to a drink

I like the way you talk, I like the things you wear
I want your number tattooed on my arm in ink, I swear
‘Cause when the morning comes, I know you won’t be there
Every time I turn around, you disappear

(I got love for you)
(I got love for you)

One minute, you’re there, the next one, you’re gone
Been waiting for you all night, so come on
You know what I need, you know what I want
You know what I need now, you know what I need now

[humming]

Nice to meet ya, what’s your name?
Let me treat ya to a drink

Nice to meet ya
(I got love for you)
Where ya been?
(I got love for you)
Let me treat ya
(I got love for you)
To a drink
(I got love for you)

[humming]

[music stops]

Hot Tub Christmas

Chris Redd

Ego Nwodim

Cecily Strong

Scarlett Johansson

Big Jim… Niall Horan

[Starts with a clip of Radisson hotel]

Chris: Honey, come on. The coast is clear.

[Cut to Chris and Ego in a indoor pool]

Ego: Oh, my gosh! This is so crazy. The sign says it’s after hours for the hot tub

Chris: Yeah, well. It also says you can’t go in if you’ve had diarrhea in the past two weeks.

Ego: What are you implying, mister?

Chris: You know you did. Now, get in here rule breaker.

Ego: Okay, you are going to get us kicked out of the Radisson select.

[unknown laughter]

Ego: Honey what is that?

[Two women’s spirit appear]

Cecily: Hi, y’all.

Scarlett: Hi.

Chris: Are you spirits?

[Cut to Cecily and Scarlett]

Cecily: Oh, you mean like ghosts? Yeah.

Scarlett: Yeah, go ahead. Put your hand through my face.

[Cut to everybody. Ego tries tries to touch Scarlett]

Scarlett: Ah! I’m kidding.

[Cut to Chris and Ego]

Ego: Honey, I bet they’re gonna teach us some kind of Christmas lesson.

Chris: Yeah, like show us the error of our ways.

Ego: Like that classic Christmas story.

Chris: Oh yeah, what was it? Like the Muppet Christmas carol?

[Cut to Cecily and Scarlett]

Cecily: Oh gosh. I wish. I love Muppets.

Scarlett: No, we’re just two dead strippers that get to haunt this hot tub every Christmas.

[Cut to everybody]

Ego: You’re strippers?

Scarlett: We were.

Cecily: We’re dead now.

Scarlett: Yeah. We worked at Big Jim’s Jug, Rug and Tug Join across the street from the family chicken restaurant.

[cut to Chris and Ego]

Ego: So, how did you two pass?

Ego: Honey, that’s rude.

[Cut to Cecily and Scarlett]

Scarlett: No, it’s okay. There’s a song about it.

[music playing]

It was Christmas at the strip club

Cecily: Back in Chris97Cecily

Both: Big Jim closed up early

so we could trim the stripper tree

Scarlett: We gathered all our pasties

and set them on each limb

Both: Then big Jim made his annual joke

about getting Christmas trim

Cecily: We took our Christmas Quaaludes

Scarlett: having fun just hanging round

Both: we said is it safe to swim on qualudes

there is only one way to find out

[Cut to Chris and Ego]

Chris: Oh, it’s starting to sound like they did something dumb.

[Cut to Cecily and Scarlett]

Scarlett: So, we sneaked into this hot tub

Cecily: On this crystal Christmas night

Both: We said let’s do something funny

and have chicken fight

Cecily: I got on the bottom

Scarlett: And I got on the top.

[Spirit of Niall Horan appears]

Bim Jim: And I got up on both of them

while they both just shouted stop.

[Cut to Chris and Ego]

Ego: Who are you?

Bim Jim: I’m big Jim.

[Cut to everybody]

Chris: Big?

Scarlett: No, no. It’s a funny name.

Cecily: Yeah, like when you call a big fat guys, Tiny.

Ego: Okay, so you’re dead too?

Chris: Honey?

Bim Jim: I don’t mind it. It’s in the song.

Scarlett: Yeah, let’s get back to it.

[Cut to Cecily, Scarlett and Bim Jim]

Bim Jim: So, I sat on top of the chicken

but it felt like something was wrong

Then I noticed the girls went under

but they were down there far too long

Both: So we popped out of the water

to play a joke on Jim

All: But our forehead hit Jim’s forehead

and we all sunk down again

then we had a staring contest

underneath the hot tub foam

but we swallowed too much water

and now this hot tub is our forever home

Cecily: Did you get what happened in the song?

Scarlett: We drowned in.

[Cut to Chris and Ego]

Chris: So the three of you drowned having staring contest?

[Cut to Cecily, Scarlett and Bim Jim]

Scarlett: Yeah. I guess so. We was just having a good time.

Cecily: That’s the meaning of friendship.

Bim Jim: And hey, isn’t friendship what Christmas is all about?

Scarlett: Hey, don’t y’all ever forget that.

[The clock bell rings]

Well, it’s almost midnight.

[Cut to Chris and Ego]

Chris: What happens then?

[Cut to Cecily, Scarlett and Bim Jim]

Cecily: Then it’s Christmas and we go back to hell.

Scarlett: Yeah, we only get the one night. Anyway, before we go—

All: [singing]

so here’s out Christmas lesson

the afterlife is long

but we all have to go so why not go with friends

and you’ll never be alone

[song ends]

Scarlett: Oh! And one more thing. That diarrhea you’re having right now, it’s because you’re pregnant.

[Cut to Chris and Ego]

Ego: Oh, honey.

Chris: You’re having diarrhea right now?

Ego: Yes, but we’re going to have a baby.

[Cut to Cecily, Scarlett and Bim Jim]

Cecily: Congratulations.

[Cut to everybody]

All: Merry Christmas. Bye.

Ego: Oh! I guess they taught us something after all.

Chris: Did they?

Ego: We found out I’m pregnant.

Chris: I would like to get a real doctor to establish that, but hey, get over here. Merry Christmas. I love you.

Ego: I love you, too.