April Ludgate… Aubrey Plaza
Leslie Knope…Amy Poehler[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]
Colin Jost: According to a recent study, local governments are having trouble hiring new employees. Here to encourage young people to get involved in local government is a longtime employee of the city of Pawnee, Indiana, April Ludgate.[April Ludgate slides in]
April Ludgate: Hi.
Colin Jost: Hi, April.
April Ludgate: What?
Colin Jost: Nothing. You just said you came out here to talk about local government?
April Ludgate: I will when you stop yelling at me. Okay, fine. So yeah, everybody should get involved where they live. If you’re young, you should get a job as a garbage man or something.
Colin Jost: Okay. Are there other jobs?
April Ludgate: You want me to list them? Okay? Fine. Driver a bus, You don’t have to be on time. Nobody cares. Work for the water department. You can drain the reservoir and find all the bodies and murder clues. Or just be a dog catcher and just say you couldn’t find any. Because when you work for the local government, doing the bare minimum is doing your part.
Colin Jost: Okay, all right. Okay, but what if you actually want to work hard?
April Ludgate: I don’t know. You’re annoying me. Just ask my old boss, Leslie Knope.[Leslie Knope slides in]
Leslie Knope: Whooo. Hi, April. Hi, Colin. Hi, Michael Che. Wow. Look at this. Who knew there were cameras in SNL?
Colin Jost: Yeah, yeah. So So you work for the government?
Leslie Knope: Yeah. Park Service. Yeah. So how much fun is it working here? Do you guys just sit around cracking each other up all day?
Colin Jost: Not like 8am, but yeah, generally. How does it take to run a federal agency?
Leslie Knope: Well, all you do is you show up every day and you do the job. But I want to pick your brain about this job. About this show. Because I used to watch this when Seth Meyers did it by himself with no one else. And he made it look really easy.
Colin Jost: Yeah, yeah. So you said you were here to talk about the government?
Leslie Knope: Yeah, but quick question, President Biden, when he zoomed in before could he see me or were the cameras off?
Colin Jost: I think he pre recorded that.
Leslie Knope: Ah, I thought the show was live.
Colin Jost: Most of it is.
April Ludgate: Oh my god. Can we just please go? This guy has been bothering me for half an hour.
Leslie Knope: Yeah. We can’t stay long. We have a timed entry tickets to the m&m store. But before we go, and may I be so bold, do you mind if I tried to tell a joke?
Colin Jost: I would love it.[Colin Jost and Leslie Knope swap chairs]
Leslie Knope: Ah. This feels good. This feels nice. Okay, let’s see what you got. Okay. All right. Oh, no, that’s to mean. Oh, what? No, that’s way too mean. What? No. Okay, I’ll do this one. [There’s a picture of an article that says “Bus service for puppies”.] Town in Alaska has launched a bus service for puppies. The service has expanded to puppies. Thanks to the heroic activism of canine civil rights icon, Rosa Barks. Whooo. That felt good.
April Ludgate: For Weekend Update, I’m April Ludgate.
Leslie Knope: I’m Leslie Knope.