Marcelo Hernandez[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]
Colin Jost: Major League Baseball season wrapped up this week and the playoffs are underway. Here to give us his thoughts is new SNL cast member Marcelo Hernandez.[Marcelo Hernandez slides in] [cheers and applause]
Marcelo Hernandez: Yes, thank you. Thank you, New York. Thank you, Colin.
Colin Jost: What’s up Marcelo? So are you a baseball fan?
Marcelo Hernandez: Well, Colin, you know, my mom is from Cuba. And my dad is from the Dominican Republic. So obviously, they’re divorced. But it also means I love baseball. You know, Latinos dominate baseball. And I’m not saying we’re naturally better. I’m just saying we’re more fun to watch. I mean, who would you rather watch play baseball? Tanner from Kentucky, or a guy that they call Papi and no one knows why. This guy got so good at his job, everyone started calling him Dad. Like Colin, has anybody here ever called you, daddy?
Colin Jost: I’d rather not say. What about like Aaron Judge? Right? He just hit his 62nd home run, set the AL record
Marcelo Hernandez: Yeah, I think it’s impressive, Colin, but there just wasn’t enough emotion for me. He hits his 62nd home run, puts the bat down gently. And then it’s a couple of high fives and straight to the dugout. When a Dominican guy hits a homerun Colin, he throws the bat to a different dimension. And once he gets the home plate, he thanks everyone he’s ever encountered. He’s like “Thank you to my mother and my sister and my father and that one guy from that day I beat up that one time.” Everything changes when they bring out the Dominican guy. The American announcer who’s been speaking English the whole game gets an accent all of a sudden. Now this guy named Jeff is like, “A now coming to the plane, frrrom San Do-Do-Diego, Starling Marte.” Cue the Merengue music. Even the white guys in the crowd are like, “To-go-to-go-tinga tanka kung kang.” Then this guy comes up and he pulls a chain out of nowhere. He tells the pitcher to relax. And then he brings Jesus into it, he’s like “In the name of the Father and…” And then once he gets to batting, Colin it’s all hips. Do you feel that Colin?
Colin Jost: I’m pretty sure it feel it, yeah.
Marcelo Hernandez: Everyone in the crowd is pregnant by the time he’s done back. And the postgame interviews are different Colin. white guys are so boring. They’re always talking about the game. It’s like we had a game plan and we executed it.
Colin Jost: But I bet Latin guys do a different?
Marcelo Hernandez: Don’t do that, Colin. I don’t like that. But yes, it is very different. After a baseball game, Latin guys, if they do get a sentence off in English, it’s not about the game. The reporter is like “What was going through your head on that 3-2 slider? And then Ramon is like, “Man, I love Miami man. The weather, the people, the food is amazing.” Have you noticed Colin, they really only speak English until they lose patience. You know? You ask them a loaded question and they go, “Well, for the song, I think that—” [starts speaking Spanish aggressive]
Colin Jost: Marcelo Hernandez, everyone.
Marcelo Hernandez: Thank you.
Colin Jost: For Weekend Update, I’m Colin Jost.
Michael Che: I’m Michael Che, goodnight.