Jenna Ortega Monologue

[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Jenna Ortega.

[Jenna Ortega walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]

Jenna Ortega: Thank you. Thank you guys very much. I am so excited to be here. My name is Jenna Ortega. I’m 20 years old, which makes me the youngest host of the season. But I’ve actually been acting since I was a kid. I got discovered when my mom put a video of me on Facebook, which someone explained to me is like TikTok, but for racism instead of dancing.

I’ve had a crazy couple of years I was in Wednesday, X, Scream 6. A lot of people assume that I’m dark and twisted in real life because of these roles that I play, but I’m not like that at all. I think there’s just something about my face where people see it and they’re like, “Hey, let’s throw blood on that.” But I wasn’t always in horror films. My first ever acting role was actually in a Colgate toothpaste commercial when I was nine. Take a look.

[Cut to Colgate toothpaste commercial]

Jenna Ortega as a kid: Wanna help me catch invisible nasties? You know, those little gems the head in your mouth. I’ll be back tonight invisible nasties.

[Cut back to Jenna Ortega]

Jenna Ortega: I am still that exact same girl. Same one. It’s just that I don’t know, scary music and editing can make anything seem like a horror film. Watch.

[Cut to the same Colgate commercial edited as a horror film] [Cut back to Jenna Ortega]

I love horror movies, but honestly, I don’t get scared very easily. Part of the reason I actually wanted to come host SNL is that I wanted to face my biggest fear – happy, extroverted people who are always trying to perform. But everyone here has been so kind and this week has been a dream come true. You know, I’ve got a couple of friends here tonight including one of my co stars from Wednesday, Fred Armisen.

[Fred Armisen is within the audience]

Fred Armisen: Hi, Jenna. Don’t let me distract you. I’m just here to watch with these people who are below me.

Jenna Ortega: Oh, did you want to come up and join me on stage?

Fred Armisen: Oh, me? Go up there in front of the cameras? I could never.

Jenna Ortega: Okay, I’m sorry you don’t have to.

Fred Armisen: Alright fine, I will.

[Fred Armisen joins Jenna Ortega on stage] [cheers and applause]

Wow, so this is what it feels like to be on Saturday Night Live?

Jenna Ortega: You were on the show for 11 seasons.

Fred Armisen: That’s sweet. Thank you.

Jenna Ortega: Seriously Fred, I’m so honored that you’re here. You’re the reason I started watching SNL actually. My favorite sketch of all time is the Californians.

[cheers and applause]

Fred Armisen: Thanks Jenna, that’s so nice. You know, the original idea came to me because I was giving directions-

Jenna Ortega: Yeah, no, we figured it was something like that. It’s all good. [pushes Fred Armisen out of the stage] Thank you.

Like I said, this feels like a dream. When I was a kid, I wasn’t old enough to watch SNL yet. So I took a tour of the SNL studio with my parents, like, six years ago, and they said, “Man, wouldn’t it be amazing if you host it someday?” And it seemed impossible, then. But now I’m here tonight. And my parents are in the audience and they get to hear me say – we have a great show for you tonight. 1975 is here. So stick around and we’ll be right back.