Ashley…Sarah Silverman
Scott… Kyle Mooney
Brian… Beck Bennett
[Starts with Ashley reading a book ‘The December Generation’ in a park.]
[Scott walks to Ashley]
Scott: Hmm, the December Generation.
Ashley: Oh, this, yes. ‘The December Generation’, it’s a term–
Scott: [sitting down by Ashley’s side] That Jack O’Boyle used to describe a group of poets and artists from late 50s and early 60s.
[Cut to Ashley]
Ashley: Exactly.
[Cut to Scott]
Scott: Personally, I’m partialled at Christopher Patel.
[Cut to Ashley]
Ashley: Me too.
Scott: I love his poem ‘A Life Before’.
Ashley: The times we had,
the madness of it all
[Cut to Scott completing Ashley’s poem. They are staring at each other’s eyes.]
Scott: The dreams of life,
the truth we wear
Ashley: The fear, the pain and everything hereafter
[cut to Scott]
Scott: Leads to this moment.
Both: The life before.
Scott: I’m Scott.
[Cut to Ashley]
Ashley: Ashley.
[Cut to Ashley and Scott. 3 pops out of Ashley’s back]
Brian: Hey, man! Quit talking to my girlfriend like that. [Cut to 3] I’m gonna kick–
[Cut to Scott]
Scott: –kick my butt.
[Cut to 3 smiling]
[3 slowly stands]
Brian: Because I’m not gonna put up with little–
[Cut to Scott completing 3’s sentence.]
Scott: –pieces of turn.
Scott and 3: From planet Earth.
Scott: Scott.
[Cut to Ashley, Scott and 3.]
Brian: Brian.
[Scott and 3 shake their hands.]
In your–
Scott and 3: –worst nightmare.
[Scott and 3 smile at each other]
[Scott pushes 3 hard]
[Cut to many clips of 3 bullying Scott]
[Cut to Scott]
Scott: And then he made me eat this.
[Scott shows Ashley what he ate]
Ashley: Stinky Sue Supreme?
Scott: Yeah! [Scott burps]
Ashley: Brian, your temper’s out of control.
[Cut to 3 not talking back]
[Cut to Ashley]
Ashley: You’re nothing but an immature–
[Cut to 3 completing Ashley’s sentence]
Brian: –emotionally stunted–
[Cut to Ashley going on with her sentence]
Ashley: –self indulgent–
Ashley and 3: Child!
[Ashley and 3 look at each other smiling]
Brian: I’m Brian.
Ashley: Ashley.
Brian: Would you want to break up with me?
Ashley: I’d like that a lot. Sayonara–
[3 completing Ashley’s statement]
Ashley and 3: -sucker!
[Cut to Ashley carrying 3 and throwing him into the garbage.]