Quan… Chris Redd
Dante… Kenan Thompson
Harry Styles
Mikey Day
[Starts with people smuggling packages and counting money in a warehouse.]Quan: Wrap that package. Alright man, we gotta move this out for tonight.
Dante: Quan, how come I didn’t know nothing about this shipment coming in?
Quan: Maybe that’s because that’s not your concern anymore, Dante. It’s my operation now.
Dante: You cutting me out? I thought we were partners, man. 50-50.
Quan: If we was partners, then why were you acting like the boss? Huh?
Dante: You think you can run this whole thing without me?
[Harry and Mikey who are beside Quan pull guns on Dante] [Cut to Mikey]Mikey: Nothing personal.
[Cut to Harry]Harry: Just business.
Quan: That’s a game, bruh. [Cut to Quan] Don’t trip. I’m gonna run it just like you did. Got ya coke. Ya heroin from Mexico. Move it to the stash house. Guess what I’m gonna do next.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: Suppose you’re going to sell it.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Exactly. Who do you think I’m going to sell it to?
[Cut to Dante]Dante: You the king, you tell me.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: You’re damn right I’m the king! But say I wasn’t yet, and you were. Who would you call to sell the drugs and what’s the guy’s name?
[Silence] [Mikey and Harry are confused] [Cut to Dante]Dante: If I was still the king, I’d put a bullet in your goddamn head.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then after that, who is the guy you would sell the drugs to and what’s his number and what’s a good time to call him?
[Cut to Dante]Dante: For real?
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Bitch, I just asked you, who would you call? How much would you charge? How would you sell it? What’s his number? And where do you get those little plastic baggies you put the drugs in?
[Silence] [Cut to Dante]Dante: Quan, do you know what you’re doing?
[Cut to Harry, Quan and Mikey]Quan: Yeah, yo. And besides, product this pure, sells itself.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: Not really.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Yo, says you. Man, look at this heroin, bruh!
[Cut to Mikey]Mikey: That’s cocaine.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: It’s the same thing.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: It’s not though.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: I know that, fool. I’m saying it’s like the same thing pricewise.
[Cut to Harry]Harry: No, it’s not.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Enough, okay! Look, I got so much of this junk right here, I could give it away and still make bank. [Quan throws the pack up] [Cut to Dante]
Dante: Yep, that’s a loose pack.
[all the cocaine falls on Quan] [Cut to Harry, Mikey and Quan]Quan: Oops, guess I’m out a hundred bucks.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: A hundred bucks? That’s like 30 grand.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: A-ah. [Looks at Mikey] Sweep that up. Sweep that up.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: Quan, I admire your hustle, man.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Thank you kindly.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: But you didn’t know the game bruh.
[Cut to everybody]Quan: Oh, I don’t know the game? I don’t know the game? [Quan takes his gun out] Bitch, I live this game— [All the bullets fall out from his gun] goddammit.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: Yo, you hit the wrong button on that.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: That’s okay. All it takes is one bullet.
[Quan puts in the bullet from the front of the gun’s barrel] [Cut to Dante]Dante: That is not how that goes.
[Cut to Quan and Mikey]Quan: Here, screw this in for me.
Mikey: Yo, you can’t screw in a bullet.
Quan: Yes, you can.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: Quan, you are not ready for this.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: I was born ready for this.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: Okay, so you got a lawyer sitting up shell companies to hide the cash.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: I’m calling one right now.
[Cut to Harry]Harry: Not on your personal phone though, right?
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Nah.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: And you know about supply side economics.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Word.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: You can flood the market, after all.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Right, right. ‘Cause of, uh—
[Quan tries to copy what Dante is saying] [Cut to Dante]Dante: Then you gotta weigh earnings against overhead.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Ooh, it is hot in here.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: Of course, you gotta project seasonality in market trends. Right? [Cut to Quan getting confused with all the technical stuffs] So, even though it’s quarter four right now, you’re setting up for quarter two of next year. And you’ve got cops on the pay roll. Let them bust a little bit of the stash, a little in they pockets. [Quan loses his focus] And of course, you gotta figure out a way to get right with the Irs. Right? Get ready to make all the payoffs to the lawyers—Quan? Quan!
Quan: What?
[Cut to Harry]Harry: Go that handled, right, Quan?
[Cut to Dante]Dante: ‘Cause you know, if you need the help I could see about coming back on maybe a part-time basis.
[Cut to Harry]Harry: Listen to this fool.
[Cut to Mikey]Mikey: Yeah. Bitch, you out.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Or maybe he’s in!
[Cut to Mikey]Mikey: Dude—
[Cut to Quan]Quan: You know, help with the transition and all that. But it ain’t gonna be no 50-50 split this time.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: Oh, I know. ‘Cause I’m taking 80%.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: You tripping’, dog.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: Okay, 100%.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Deal.
Harry: What?
Quan: But I’m still the king.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: No.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Deal. But I get to go to the meetings and all of that.
[Cut to Dante]Dante: Nope.
[Cut to Quan]Quan: Deal.
[Cut to Harry]Harry: Bruh!
[Cut to Dante]Dante: So I guess we back in business then. Clean this mess up. [Dante leaves] [Cut to Harry]
Harry: Quan!
[Cut to Quan and MIkey]Mikey: Yo, what just happened?
[Cut to Quan]Quan: That’s just the game, dog. [Quan pulls up his gun but his bullets fall again] Goddammit.
Mikey: You pushin’ the button.
Quan: I ain’t pushing no button!