Lunch Run

Kenan Thompson

Heidi Gardner

Rob… Harry Styles

Melissa Villaseñor

Chris Redd

Ego Nwodim

[Starts with a video clip of a commercial building]

Kenan: I’ve got to say. I think it’s a done deal. So, fingers crossed.

[Cut to inside the office]

Heidi: Okay, everybody. The contracts are officially signed.

[Everybody is celebrating] [Cut to Heidi and Rob]

So, lunch is on the company today. And our new intern, Rob from the UK, is going to pick it up. Thank you, Rob.

Rob: No problem.

Heidi: So, where are we going? Any suggestions?

[Cut to Melissa]

Melissa: There is a new Thai place that’s supposed to be good.

[Cut to Ego]

Ego: Or, how about pizza? That’s always fun to share.

[Cut to Heidi and Rob]

Rob: Sorry, can I make a suggestion?

Heidi: Sure.

Rob: Cool. I thought I could get us all those new chicken sandwiches from Popeye’s.

[Cut to Kenan. He is staring at Rob.]

Kenan: From where now?

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: From Popeye’s. They don’t have one in England but it’s just like KFC, right?

[Cut to Kenan.]

Kenan: No. No, it’s not.

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Either way, I thought I could go there by myself and get like 15 chicken sandwiches.

[Cut to Ego staring at Rob.]

Ego: By yourself? So, what you want to go to a Popeye’s alone in the middle of the lunch rush, then buy up all the chicken sandwiches?

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Yes. That’s the plan.

[Cut to Kenan.]

Kenan: Is there even a Popeye’s around here?

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Sure. I found one just down the street on Frederick Douglass Boulevard.

[Cut to Ego and Kenan staring at Rob]

Kenan: Did you say Frederick Douglass Boulevard?

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Yes. It’s right between the liquor store and the foot locker.

[Cut to Ego and Kenan staring at Rob. Ego stands.] [Cut to Melissa]

Melissa: Sounds great. I love chicken sandwiches.

[Cut to Heidi and Rob]

Heidi: Sure, I’m down. I heard their chicken sandwich was so popular that they were out of them for three months.

[Cut to Melissa]

Melissa: Yeah. And when people discovered that they didn’t have any left, they didn’t like it.

[Cut to Kenan.]

Kenan: Man, they went crazy.

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: I’ll be fine. But I hear there’s a line out the door every afternoon. I’m sure they’ll just let me cut. I’ll just go in and say, “Give me every chicken sandwiches you have, I’m in a hurry.”

[Cut to Ego looking at Kenan] [Cut to Kenan]

Kenan: Do you really think you can do that?

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Absolutely. Don’t worry. Even though I’m just an intern, I get things done. I don’t mind yelling if I need to. Even if the cashier is a woman.

[Cut to Chris (Cleaner) staring at Rob]

Chris: I don’t even know you but I don’t think I can let you do this.

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.

[Cut to Kenan]

Kenan: Rob, at least take me with you. You can’t carry all that food.

[Cut to Rob]

Rob: No way. I’m the intern and it is my job. And I can hold a lot of sandwiches. I’ll just wear my big backpack and my long coat.

[Cut to Ego and Kenan]

Both: No.

[Cut to Chris]

Chris: Okay, you gonna die.

[Cut to everybody]

Kenan: Okay, look. I’ve got to level with you. There are not many things in this country [Cut to Kenan and Rob] where our people get first dibs but the Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich, that’s one of them.

Rob: Okay.

Ego: It’s like, [Cut to everybody] you have to take a step back on this one. Alright? Imagine if I went to a whole foods and bought up all those white claw seltzers you all like.

[Cut to Heidi staring at Ego]

Heidi: That’s just selfish.

[Cut to everybody]

Kenan: You see? You see that reaction right there? Imagine that times a million.

Chris: We cannot put you in the middle of that situation like that.

[Cut to Kenan and Rob]

Rob: Sorry. I’m going. I have to.

Kenan: Don’t.

Rob: I have to.

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