Game at Debra’s House

Debra… Ronda Rousey

Robbie… Beck Bennett

Mikie… Kyle Mooney

Kenan Thompson

[Starts with Debra walking up to Robbie and Mikie]

Debra: Hey, Robbie. Hey, Mikie.

Robbie: Hey Debra.

Mikie: What’s up, Debra?

Debra: Were you guys able to talk to Don about the new customer service policies?

Robbie: Oh, not yet. But we’re definitely gonna get started digging our hands into it after lunch.

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: Great! Oh, and if you haven’t heard, I’m having some people over to game on Sunday, if you wanna come by.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Robbie: Oh, yes.

Mikie: Oh, yes!

Robbie: Okay.

Mikie: Big game, you’re having people over for it?

[Cut to everyone]

Debra: Yeah. I thought it might be fun.

Robbie: Oh, it’s party time. Alright!

Debra: Um, not quite a party but some people hope it for sure. No big deal.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Mikie: Great! Me and him love parties. It’s one of our favorite things to go to.

Robbie: I always get invited to party. So, this is nothing new.

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: Oh well, mine’s Sunday starting at around 3.

[Cut to all. Debra is walking away.]

Mikie: Okay. Let me ask, morning or later?

Debra: 3 PM. Do not come to my house at 3 AM.

Mikie: Great! That’s actually easier for us.

Robbie: Yeah. Way easy for us. I’m actually scared at 3 AM.

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: Ah, okay. But there’s no reason to be scared.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Robbie: No. Not of a party.

Mikie: And of course, we’re gonna be doing what people do at party. So, a little bit of dancing, a little bit of what did you say?

[Cut to all]

Debra: Just watching football.

Robbie: Exactly! Yeah.

Debra: Feel free to bring something but no pressure.

[Debra is walking away]

Mikie: Um-hmm. Like a bucket.

Debra: We’re just going to be watching TV. So we don’t need buckets.

Mikie: Perfect!

Robbie: Oh, so yea, we’ll just bring in couple of TVs in?

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: I have a TV. You don’t have to bring one from home.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Robbie: Oh that’s probably easier for us. We live two hours away. We don’t have a car.

Mikie: Yeah, thanks Obama.

Robbie: Oh, hey, do people have any allergies or–

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: I don’t think so.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Robbie: Okay, great. Then I’ll find a couple of dogs to bring.

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: Please don’t bring dogs to my house.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Robbie: Oh, okay. So you’re gonna provide the dogs?

Mikie: Oh, a very crazy affair.

Robbie: Ah!

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: Have you guys not been to a party before?

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Robbie: Oh yeah. Just not with other people.

[Kenan walks in]

Kenan: Hey! I heard you guys talking about a party? I’m there. I’ll be the one with the nachos.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Mikie: Ay, we’ll be the ones with the towels.

[Cut to Kenan]

Kenan: Don’t know what that can mean.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Mikie: Coz we’re bringing towels to the party.

Robbie: Yeah, see you Sunday at 3 AM.

Mikie: PM.

Robbie: Oh, right!

[Cut to all]

Kenan: I’m gonna walk away right now.

Debra: I already have plenty of towels.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Robbie: Lucky.

Mikie: We can bring rags.

Debra: Rags?

Mikie: You must know that those are little shredded towels.

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: I know what rags are. And I don’t need anything like that.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Mikie: Say no more. That actually makes things a lot more easier for us.

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: If you guys don’t wanna come, don’t stress.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Robbie: Oh, no. We’re not stressed. We got body massages today.

Mikie: Yeah. We’re not stressed at all. We’ve been to a party or two before.

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: I get it. Not your first ROYO.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Mikie: No one said anything about ROYO party.

Robbie: ROYO party. Either way, we get our clowns right?

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: No. It’s very casual. I’ll see you at my house Sunday or not.

[Debra walking away]

Mikie: Roger that. Now, just a curiosity. How do we get inside your place?

[Cut to Debra getting annoyed]

Debra: What?

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Robbie: Is there a climbing situation? Or do you want us to smash in the front door?

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: No, it’s just a regular door and I’ll open it.

[Cut to Robbie and Mikie]

Robbie: Perfect. Okay.

Mikie: That’s easier for us.

Robbie: Yeah.

[Cut to all]

Debra: Guys, you don’t really have to come.

Mikie: Oh, well, we do.

[Cut to Deb’s house at 3 AM] [door bell ringing]

Robbie: Deb, wake up! We’re here to watch the game.

Mikie: We brought dogs and rags.

[door knocking] [The End]

Robbie

Coach… Beck Bennett

Mikey Day

Alex Moffat

Kyle Mooney

Riley… JJ Watt

Robby… Chris Redd

Mr. Philmore… Kenan Thompson

[Starts with coach prep-talking to the football players]

Coach: Gentlemen, this is the playoffs. Clubs in this not gonna–

[Coach realizes the players are not dressed for the game]

What the hell is going on? Why aren’t you all dressed?

Mikey: Some of us were talking coach, and we think Robbie should dress for the game.

[Robbie is sitting on the bench]

Coach: [laughing] You hit your head to hard in practice son? Robbie’s on the practice squad. This is the playoffs. Roster’s set. Now get dressed.

Mikey: This is Robbie’s dream, coach. [Robbie is looking happy] I know there’s no room in the rosters, so I want Robbie to take my spot.

[Mikey hands over his jersey to the coach] [Alex walks up to Coach]

Alex: Robbie can have my spot too, coach.

[Alex hands over his jersey to the coach too]

Coach: This is what you want?

Alex: Yes, sir.

[Kyle hands over his jersey to the coach too]

Kyle: Robbie deserves it, coach.

Coach: And what about you, Riley?

[Riley stands up]

You want Robbie to take your spot?

Riley: [bleep] No! He [bleep] sucks at football. [Robbie is embarrassed] You guys want Robbie to play in a playoff game? That is crazy! We’re gonna [bleep] lose! He sucks ass! Have you seen him in practice?

[Cut to Robbie sucking at the practice games] [Cut back to the locker room]

He is dog [shit]. I mean, [looking at Robbie] I’m sorry, Robbie, but you’re dog [bleep]. He’s dog [blee].

Mikey: Robbie’s got heart, Riley! [Robbie is looking happy again] It’s gotta count for something.

Riley: He’s [bleep] his pants in practice last week, Stevens. [Robbie is embarrassed] Again! I didn’t even want run at him and hit him this time. All I did was walk over to him and he crumpled into a little ball, he said, “No, no! Not again! It’s coming out. It’s coming.” I mean.

[Robbie had enough]

Robby: You know what? Maybe you don’t believe in Riley.

Riley: I definitely don’t.

Robby: Okay! But, a friend told me something that made me believe in myself. Right, Mr. Philmore?

[Mr. Philmore is a janitor. He is shaking his head.] [Cut to Robby and Mr. Philmore in the past. Robby threw his helmet.]

Mr. Philmore: Yo! What? You mad you didn’t make the team? Huh? Well, listen here. You’re five foot nothing. A hundred and nothing. But damn, if you don’t got passion.

[Cut back to the locker room]

Robby: And he gave me the strength to keep going.

Mr. Philmore: Hold on, coz after that I said.

[Cut to Robby and Mr. Philmore in the past]

Mr. Philmore: Unfortunately, passion don’t mean nothing in this level. This is D-1, son and you’re just too tiny. You’re gonna get your ass stocked. Pan-caked, son!

[Cut back to the locker room]

Robby: Right! But you believed. And that’s what’s important.

Mr. Philmore: No, I’ma stop you right there. I said one more thing and it was…

[Cut to Robby and Mr. Philmore in the past]

Mr. Philmore: And who keep letting you in my office? Stop coming back here, man! It’s weird. We ain’t friends.

[Cut back to the locker room]

Mr. Philmore: That’s how that all went down.

Robby: Enough! Okay? Look, coach, you played here. Someone gave you a shot. That’s all I’m asking for. It’s a shot.

Riley: This is so [bleep] dumb! He doesn’t even know the plays, coach!

Robby: I know the playbook front to back. You call any play, I can run any route right now.

Coach: Alright, Robbie, if you get pass Riley, you can dress for the game.

Mikey: Go, Robbie!

[Robbie is happy and Riley can’t believe this.] [Robby and Riley get ready]

Coach: Alright Robbie, let’s see what you got. Red 7, hud 7.

Robby: Different play, don’t know that one.

Coach: White right on 1!

Robby: Different play.

Coach: Jesus, Robbie. Blue 19 on 3.

Robby: Different play.

Coach: Slat 6 on 2.

Robby: Nope!

Mikey: I’m just gonna take my jersey back.

Coach: Red Devil, on 3.

Robby: Skip!

Coach: Robbie, Angel 6 on 2.

Robby: Got it! What was it though?

Coach: Robbie, Angel 6 on 2.

Robby: I got it, coach!

Coach: Hub, hub.

[Robby runs to Riley. Riley pushes Robby lightly and Robby gets slammed the lockers.]

Mr. Philmore: Dumb ass!

[Riley walks to Robby]

Riley: He’s alright. But I think he might have done another- you know. In his pants.

Robby: I almost did, but hailed it in.

Riley: No, he didn’t.

Coach: Well, that’s it. We got a football game to win, gentlemen!

[all the players cheer and follow the coach]