Greg… Taran Killam
Sarah… Venessa Bayer
Simon… Kyle Mooney
Megan… Sasheer Zamata
Ronda Banks… Leslie Jones
[Starts with Ghosts: Fact or Fiction?]
Male voice: Ghosts, spectre operations, are they real messages from other side? Or can they be explained by science? Tonight we find out on Ghosts: Fact or Fiction?
[Cut to a house that looks haunted.]
Amherst Massachusetts. The Chapman mansion. Some say it’s been haunted for decades and I was going to find out the truth with the help of my team. A local historian, two paranormal researchers and a scientist &resident skeptic, Ronda Banks.
Ronda Banks: There’s no such thing as ghost?
[Cut to the team getting inside the the house]
Male voice: Together, we entered the house.
Ronda Banks: Well, this is kind of spooky.
[Cut to Greg]
Greg: We are currently inside of what used to be the drawing room.
Sarah: The Chadmans disappeared from here over 80 years ago.
Greg: Are you picking anything up in the spectre meter?
Simon: Oh, yeah! Big time.
Greg: Megan. Give us a reading on the cabinet.
Megan: Definitely something here.
Greg: Ronda, go on and check the fire place.
Ronda Banks: [shaking head no] Uh-uh!
Greg: No, go on, check it.
[Cut to Megan Banks gesturing no]
[Cut to Simon]
Simon: Hey, Greg, I’m getting a big spike by the windows.
Greg: Alright, shh! Shh! Everyone, silent.
[banging sound]
Ronda Banks: [jumping around] Oh!
[Ronda Banks gets out of the house]
Greg: Even our skeptic was disturbed by the house. And she hadn’t even seen the basement.
[Cut to night vision clip of everybody in the hosue]
[banging sound]
Ronda Banks: Oh! Why is the lights off?
Greg: Spirits, show yourselves.
Ronda Banks: Really? You’re gonna ask the spirits to show themselves. That’s so stupid.
Greg: That’s what the whole show.
Ronda Banks: I’m not build for this, man! I thought this was supposed to be about flipping halosis.
Male voice: I was beginning to doubt Ronda’s credentials as the night went on.
[the team is now going upstairs]
Greg: We are currently inside of the twins’ bedroom. This is actually where they were last seen alive. Right here, we have the twin’s favorite doll, Clarabelle.
Ronda Banks: Stupid.
Sarah: The doll disappeared with the family in the 30s and then reappeared in the 70s.
Greg: How does science explain that?
Ronda Banks: It don’t. It’s ghost.
Megan: Ronda, you’re supposed to provide a counterpoint. \
Ronda Banks: Excuse me, but are you trying to tell me how to do my– [bang] What the [bleep]!
[Ronda Banks runs out breaking the house door]
Male voice: Coming up on “Ghosts Fact or Fiction?”, Ronda locks herself in the van.
[the team is at the van telling Ronda to open the doors.]
Greg: Ronda, please get out of the van.