Steve… Dwayne Johnson
Linda… Cecily Strong
Sue… Sasheer Zamata
Aidy Bryant
[Starts with comic pages turning]
Male voice: I was just an ordinary guy… until the extraordinary happened. [scorpions are biting this guy. After that, he has become strong and now is fighting as a hero.] And extraordinary is just what this city needed.
[Cut to Linda speaking on phone in her office]
Linda: Maximilian is no joke. He is destroying the entire north side of the city. I can’t even get reporters on the field. It’s too dangerous.
Steve: Linda! [Linda gets scared as she thought she was alone. Steve is in his super hero costume.] Don’t be afraid.
Linda: Steve?
Steve: It’s me. I am, well, different.
Linda: What? What happened?
Steve: It’s hard to explain. But now I possess the super abilities of a scorpion, enhanced strength, deadly grip and venomous sting. With my powers and this armor that I created, I vow to become the vigilante this city needs. I came here to say goodbye just in case I don’t come back.
Linda: That’s incredible, but hold on. You made that?
Steve: What? The suit?
Linda: Yeah! You sewed that?
Steve: Yes. Yes, I did. Now this city won’t need to–
Linda: It’s gorgeous.
Steve: You think so?
Linda: I do. You made it with your own hands?
Steve: Yes, I did.
Linda: When?
Steve: Oh, just last night.
Linda: In just one night?
Steve: [laughing] Yes. It’s really easy once you settle on the… what’s it? Oh, silhoutte.
Linda: Steve!
Steve: It’s Scorpio now.
Linda: Scorpio, this is insane. Like, your super powers include impeccable tailoring?
Steve: Well, I- I had that from before.
Linda: From before? Oh, my god! I just noticed the little zipper on the side.
Steve: Yeah. Yeah.
[Sue and Aidy walk in]
Sue: I heard Maximilian attacked a hospital.
Aidy: Oh my god! What is this outfit?
Linda: He made it.
Steve: I made it. I made it.
Sue: Shut up. No, you didn’t.
Aidy: Okay, the zipper is–
Steve: I know, I know. It’s a little wonky. I just rushe because the hospital was going to explode.
Linda: Girls. Look, the little scorpion on the buckle matches the detailing on the shoulder.
Steve: Oh, but let me ask you. You don’t think it’s too much, do you? Because I was worried that the buckles might be a little too much.
Linda: No, no. Like, if I saw it laid out on a table, I’d be like, “Yeah, that’s too much.” Seeing it on you, I’m like, “No, it’s perfect.”
Aidy: Yeah. I love that the fabrics are a mix of high and low. Honestly, for me it’s a full yes.
Steve: Oh, great. Well, you know, I didn’t want to be too matchy-matchy.
Sue: I feel like it could use a scorpion on the chest.
Steve: No.
Aidy: Disagree.
Steve: God, no.
Linda: Too literal.
Steve: No. I want it to feel like scorpion by suggesting themes like danger, poison, night. And it’s a very earthy color story.
Sue: yeah. But I just think it could be a cool–
Steve: No, I know, but it’s a garment, it’s not a costume.
Sue: Alright. Alright.
Steve: Yeah. I mean scorpion on the chest. What? Do you wear a blouse with like “Sue’ written on it?
Sue: Alright!
Aidy: Oh, dear god! I didn’t see the back.
[Steve turns around. There’s a big hole at the back.]
Girls: Oh!
Steve: Thank you. I just wanted a little, you know, like, [slaps his own butt] umm!
Sue: Look at that butt!
Steve: Oh, it’s– it’s padded. Shh.
Steve: Could you make something for me?
Aidy: I honestly feel like this might be your thing, Steve.
Steve: Scorpio!
Aidy: Scorpio. I need to see a whole collection from you, Scorpio.
Sue: Yeah. Being a superhero is a skill, but designing is a talent.
Radio: Maximilian threatens to blow up city hall in five minutes. This city needs a hero.
[Steve turns the radio off]
Steve: I made a capelet for winter missions. Would you guys like to see it?
Girls: Oh, yes!
[Steve pulls out his cape with scorpion print]
Linda: What? How did you get it to not crease at the seams?
Steve: Yeah. I actually cut it along the bias.
Aidy: Oh, I cannot!
[explosion sound]
Linda: Oh, my god! City hall.
Steve: Should I design wedding dresses?
Sue: Yes! Please!
[Ends with a comic picture of a Scorpio Boutique]