Weekend Update Sasheer Zamata On Use Of N Word

Colin Jost

Sasheer Zamata

[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]

Colin Jost: Larry Wilmore hosted the White House Correspondence dinner last Saturday. He ended his speech by calling the president the N word which got a lot of people talking. Here to comment is our very own Sasheer Zamata.

[Sasheer Zamata slides in]

Sasheer Zamata: Hey. Hi, Colin.

Colin Jost: Hi, Sasheer. So, what do you think about what Larry Wilmore said?

Sasheer Zamata: Well, here’s the thing. There were more white people upset than black people. [Cut to Sasheer Zamata] And the white people are the reason why that word is bad. FOX News had white people condemning it who definitely say it off camera. I’m amazed this is the first time someone called him the N word on TV. People have called the president the N word online for years. Just look at the comment sections of videos of him playing basketball, or pardoning a turkey, or a cat video. Besides, you can make any word terrible. If the word McGriddle was linked to slavery, we’d feel differently about that too. And I don’t want to be the reason why the people are mad at us this week. So instead of saying the N word, I’ll use ‘McGriddle’.

[Cut to Sasheer Zamata and Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: I’m sorry, McGriddle? Don’t take that word away from me. Can I still say McGrida?

Sasheer Zamata: [yelling] No! Maybe, if you really want to.

Colin Jost: Thank you.

[Cut to Sasheer Zamata]

Sasheer Zamata: Now, I got called McGriddle once in my life, thankfully. I was walking down the street with a friend and this dirty pickup truck comes barreling down the road. And this man yells, “Y’all McGriddles need to get on a boat and take your black asses back to McDonald’s.”

[Cut to Sasheer Zamata and Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: So, McDonald’s is Africa?

Sasheer Zamata: Yeah.

[Cut to Sasheer Zamata]

I’m trying to make this analogy work. He had a confederate flag, vanity plate, truck nuts and a very red face. And I was like– He had all the things. It’s like he walked into a store and said, “I need to look as racist as I feel.” But he was old school racist. And at least he was upfront about it. That’s how I like my racists. Easily identifiable. These days people won’t publicly say the McG word but they’ll say thinly veiled words like thug, or ghetto, or athletic. I don’t know for– [pointing at the audience] Some people really liked that. [laughing] I don’t know if we’re ever gonna agree on the use of that word. I do know that word has a lot of history behind it. And if we ignore it, it feels like we’re ignoring the history.

[Cut to Sasheer Zamata and Colin Jost]

And I don’t like to ignore history.

Colin Jost: And so then, can we say it? Or…

Sasheer Zamata: It’s up to you, nigga!

Colin Jost: Back to you, Michael.

Sasheer Zamata: [laughing] Don’t be mad, it’s my birthday.

Colin Jost: Happy birthday. Sasheer Zamata, everyone.

Weekend Update Pete Davidson Talks About Mother’s Day

Colin Jost

Pete Davidson

[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]

Colin Jost: Well, tomorrow is Mother’s Day. With more on this is our own Pete Davidson.

[Pete slides in]

You’re looking good.

Pete: Yeah, right? It was my idea.

Colin Jost: That’s great. Beautiful.

Pete: Thank you. I take Mother’s Day very seriously because [cut to Pete] my mom raised me and my sister by herself, and had to be dad and the mom. You know? As a kid, she was the school nurse and she always looked out for me. She would get me out of the scoliosis check or the hearing test.

[Cut to Pete and Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: So, you never had your hearing check?

Pete: [showing his sweatshirt] Nah, I got this from wardrobe. [Cut to Pete] See, she tried to teach me what to do with girls. She’d say like, put cologne on your palm so she’ll smell it after she gets home from the night of holding hands. And always ask a girl permission before you touch her boob, even if it’s already out. While I was fifteen, she even bought me my first pack of condoms. And then five years later when those expired, she bought me more. She was always defending me. No, she always defended me as a kid. My mom’s the best. But now, I think she needs to stop coz she’s still defending me as an adult. Like on twitter, she joined twitter with the fake username ‘joesmith3030’ so she could anonymously spy on me. And then immediately started tweeting at trolls. Like this. [a tweet appears] “No, YOU suck, don’t ever talk about Pete Davidson like that again. I will tear you apart with my bare hands. I’m his mother.” Or this jam. This one says, “@NBC, Hey Lauren Michaels. I think my son would be great in some sketches too. Winking face, #ImSingle, Wine glass emoji.”

These are real. That’s what it said. You know my mom. So, I’m here to ask for help. I want to find my mom what she really needs this Mother’s Day. And that’s a man. Coz she deserves it. You know? Like, I’m not looking for a step dad material. I don’t want to have to like, learn your name. Ma, are you video taping this?

[Cut to Pete’s mom recording]

Pete’s mom: Hi, sweetheart. How are you doing?

[Cut to Pete]

Pete: I’m trying to tell everybody how much I love you and you making it really hard right now.

[cut to Pete’s mom]

Pete’s mom: Okay. Don’t forget to smile.

[Cut to Pete and Colin Jost]

Pete: Please, kill me. Everybody, this is ridiculous.

Colin Jost: Pete Davidson and his mom.

Pete: My mom is the best.

Michael Che: For Weekend Update.

Colin Jost: I’m Colin Jost.

Michael Che: I’m Michael Che. Goodnight.

[The End]