Chris Redd
Mikey Day
Nathan… Nick Jonas
Crissa… Heidi Gardner
Shannon… Kate McKinnon
Azuzal… Pete Davidson
[Starts with Chris and Mikey in their apartment]Chris: So, how does this thing work again?
Mikey: It’s a workout mirror. So, the instructors are in it. You just do what they do. It’s supposed to be awesome.
Chris: Oh, that’s sick. I’m gonna get so jacked.
Mikey: Yeah. I know, man. Like, the bike, the rowing machine, the treadmill, none of that stuff worked. But this definitely will.
Chris: Well, let’s do it, man.
[Mikey turns the mirror on. Nathan appears on it.]Nathan: What’s up? Welcome to your first mirror workout. You ready to work?
Chris and Mikey: Yeah!
Nathan: That’s what I thought. Today, we’re gonna be doing Mikey0 second interval training. We’ll be cycling through trainers. So, let’s go. Let’s do this. I’m Nathan. And you’re going to make some major gains. I’m your man.
Mikey: Yo, dude, I love this already.
Chris: We’re gonna get so yo.
[Crissa appears on the mirror.]Crissa: And I’m Crissa, cardio queen. I’m here to make you sweat. You’re going to hate me by the end of this. But I love that.
Mikey: Oh, dude, Crissa’s gonna kick our ass. I can feel it.
Chris: Man, these people are great, man. They get me pumped up.
[Shannon appears on the mirror. She is an old woman]Shannon: My name is Shannon Delgado. I am trapped inside of the mirror. I am in a cold black void. If you can hear me, please help me undo the curse.
Chris: What the hell was that about?
Mikey: Yeah. I don’t know, man. But Nathan’s back. Let’s do this.
Nathan: Alright, dudes. Pick up those weights. It’s bicep curls. Make sure you get a full extension. Swirl is the goal. Let’s go.
Mikey: Yo, this is tight.
Chris: It’s definitely cool. My only question is like, who is Shannon Delgado?
Crissa: Hey, ya’ll! It’s time for high-steps. I know it sucks but just remember you’re earning that guacamole later.
Mikey: Oh, dude, you know I’m a guac freak.
Chris: Oh man, you know I am too. Oh, no. She’s back.
[Shannon is standing there with paper bags full of groceries]Shannon: Hello again, it’s me, Shannon Delgado. Here is what happened to me. I was rude to a fortune teller and now I am here. I need you to call my husband, Ron Delgado, and tell him not to get remarried. I don’t have much time. I am being watched.
Chris: Okay, now she’s got her stuff with her. I’m kind of worried about Shannon Delgado, man.
Mikey: Yo, what I’m worried about is my gains. When’s my man Nathan coming back?
Nathan: Time for tricep kickbacks. Nathan arms, that’s what you want? You gotta do it like this. Also, pro-tip, don’t listen to Shannon Delgado. She’s a liar. Let’s go.
Chris: Wait, he can hear us?
Mikey: Dude, focus on your form.
Shannon: There’s no food in here. Sometimes they lay out a beautiful feast but it twinkles in a way that lets me know that it’s cursed. Once they gave me a beautiful meatball subs. I took a bite and I looked down and it was a rat.
[Azuzal slides in behind Shannon. He’s a guy wearing a red robe with long sharp nails.]Azuzal: Work.
Shannon: Yes, yes. Apologies, Azuzal. Azuzal guards the gateway.
Azuzal: Work. Stretch.
Shannon: Yes, of course, Azuzal. So, just pull your arm across chest, guys.
Mikey: Oh, okay. So, she does like stretching I guess. Alright, that makes sense.
Chris: No, it doesn’t. And who is Azuzal?
Nathan: Alright. Now, it’s time for the fun stuff. We’re doing a mixtape. New move, new song. Start with me and Jason Derulo. Squads!
Mikey: Oh dude, these are tough, man. Ass to the grass, right?
Crissa: My turn. Let’s do some punches. Time to pump it up raise the glass.
Chris: I do love this.
Mikey: As long as it’s not squats, dude. I’m happy.
Shannon: [scared of Azuzal] Breathe into the stretch.
Azuzal: Work, my Shannon!
Mikey: Alright, full disclosure, man. I like Nathan and Crissa. I’m just not really feeling Shannon Delgado or Azuzal.
Chris: I’m kind of team Shannon. I hope she’s okay.
Nathan: Alright, yo. Let’s recover. Let’s roll out these shoulders. Nice.
[Shannon quietly walks pass behind Nathan]Chris: Yo, Shannon Delgado is trying to get away.
Nathan: What? Oh, no. Azuzal, she’s not in her frame. Quick! She’s disobeying.
[Azuzal also walks pass behind Nathan]Chris: Dude, Nathan is on Azuzal’s side.
Nathan: Alright yo, let’s take a deep breath. Roll it out, all sweaty. Praise to Azuzal. And workout done. Nice job.
Mikey: Nice, dude. I actually already feel gains.
Nathan: Y’all killed it today. Give yourselves a “Hell yeah!”
Chris and Mikey: Hell yeah!
Crissa: Give yourselves a “We freakin did it!”
Chris and Mikey: We freakin did it!
Shannon: Give yourselves “Infectus dome zu!”
Chris: A what?
Mikey: Infectus dome zu!
[lightning appears inside the apartment]Chris: What the hell? Oh, dude! The power went out or something? What?
[Shannon is in place of Mikey now. She is standing beside Chris in the apartment.]Shannon: It worked. It worked. I’m free. Ron, I’m coming.
[Mikey is inside the mirror now and Azuzal is behind him]Mikey: No! No, why am I in here?
Azuzal: You are Shannon now. Work!