Soulja Boy… Chris Redd
Michael Che[Starts with Michael Che in his news set]
Michael Che: The president and congress reached a deal to end the longest shutdown in history. I don’t really have all the answer. So here to comment is the only person keeping it totally real right now, rapper, pioneer, entrepreneur, Soulja Boy.[Soulja Boy joins Michael Che]
Soulja Boy: What’s up? What’s happening, check, check.
Michael Che: Soulja, thanks for joining us. So I guess, what are your thoughts on shutdown?
Soulja Boy: I don’t know nothing about that.
Michael Che: Really? Well, the government was shut down for 35 days. Workers weren’t paid.
Soulja Boy: Man, for real? I got to fix this. You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to run for president.
Michael Che: What?
Soulja Boy: Yeah, Soulja Boy, crank that, 2020.
Michael Che: Soulja, you can’t be for real. You think have you what it takes to beat Donald Trump?
Soulja Boy: Trump? Trump? That dude that got bodied by the — the dude that got beef when Nancy Peloski? Trump? Man, Che, get out of here, I hear you.
Michael Che: So you really think you got what it takes?[Cut to Soulja Boy]
Soulja Boy: Che, I’m telling you bro, without big soldiers, there wouldn’t be no Trump. I’m the first one to hustle my way to the top.[Cut to Michael Che and Soulja Boy]
Michael Che: What hustle, Soulja?
Soulja Boy: Who else out here hustling the video game market?
Michael Che: Oh, that’s right, you came out with your own console, the Soulja Game. Isn’t that a Nintendo knock off?[Cut to Soulja Boy]
Soulja Boy: Nintendo? Nintendo? The dude that got bodied by Sonic the Hedgehog? Quit playing with me.[Cut to Michael Che and Soulja Boy]
Michael Che: Yes, that Nintendo.
Soulja Boy: Bro, you can play games on this! How am I the knock off? They both made in China. It’s the same stuff.
Michael Che: I think you’re is a little different.
Soulja Boy: Che, we got Fork Knife on here. [Fork Knife written like Fortnite logo]
Michael Che: Fork knife? Bro! You mean, Fortnite?
Soulja Boy: No bro, Fork Knife, chill. And if you’re not in a day, you could be a cowboy Red Dread Recession. Or if you want to keep it classic, you could have Mangino and Linguini.
Michael Che: Who’s is Mangino and Linguini?
Soulja Boy: The Super Mangino Brothers. Come on, man.[ Super Mangino brothers written like Super Mario Brothers logo]
Michael Che: So you ripped off Mario?
Soulja Boy: Mario? Mario? Quit playing with me Che.
Michael Che: Soulja, aren’t you worried about copyright infringement?
Soulja Boy: You’re gonna have to break that down for me, Che, Che.
Michael Che: You know they can sue you.
Soulja Boy: Yo, is that like your opinion or is that fact, though?
Michael Che: It’s big fact, Soulja.[Cut to Soulja Boy]
Soulja Boy: Man, they ain’t got nothing to do with the Super Mangino Brothers. Che, come on man, you got to stop playing with me. I’m going to be first black president and that’s for real.[Cut to Michael Che and Soulja Boy]
Michael Che: What about Obama?[Soulja Boy stands and walks around]
Soulja Boy: Obama? That dude been stealing my bars. Dashing your hope. That’s Soulja, that’s me.
Michael Che: Soulja Boy, everybody.