Debbie Hole… Chloe Fineman
Stacy Bussy… Heidi Gardner[Starts with Michael Che on his set]
Michael Che: This week of Facebook post urging moms to avoid Disney’s reboot of Hocus Pocus went viral. Here to discuss their concerns about the film are two mothers from Texas, Debbie Hole and Stacy Bussy.
Stacey: Hi, Michael Che.
Michael Che: So ladies, what’s so bad about Hocus Pocus?
Debbie: Okay, a bunch of witches harvesting children, running amok?
Stacey: Oh, witches snacking on my kids. Not under my house.
Michael Che: It’s just a silly kids movie.
Stacey: Michael Che, we don’t need a movie where kids souls are getting sucked off. We don’t need to see Matt Mendler wearing big old tee.
Debbie: It’s satanic.
Stacey: Okay, worst case scenario, it could unleash hell
Debbie: Um-hmm. Imagine that. Okay? I’m sorry. You just imagine that your home [yelling] with hell in it.
Stacey: Yeah. Satan walking around, erect. Is that what you want, Michael Che?
Debbie: I’m sorry. Is it Michael Che? Satan in your living room? Hard as a rock?
Michael Che: No, that’s not what I want, Debbie Hole. But don’t you think you’re missing out on some of the fun parts of Halloween?
Stacey: Oh, there’s nothing fun about Halloween.
Michael Che: What about candy?
Michael Che: What candy is satanic?
Stacey: Sour Patch Kids. Think about it. We’re feeding kids kids? Making a bunch of army hammers?
Debbie: Oh, and do not get me started on Skittles.
Michael Che: Okay, I won’t.
Stacey: Oh, you gotta start it. You gotta start it. Okay. Taste the Rainbow? Demonic. I’m gonna say this. Any vending machine with Skittles in it, that’s a glory hole for devil.
Debbie: Gushers? Ew.
Stacey: Everlasting Gobstopper? So suck till I’m dead? No.
Michael Che: Oh, so you guys are just crazy.
Debbie: I’m sorry. Crazy about family, church and laughter.
Stacey: Yes. You know what? I swear even talking about those make me nervous. Okay, you open your mouth long enough, a demon will sweep in it. [Debbie acts like she’s possessed] What did I say??
Michael Che: You alright?
Stacey: Dude, no. She got a demon in her. She probably caught it here in S-in-hell (SNL). I’m gonna have to talk to him. Debbie, Debbie, Debbie. We sold a lot of leggings to be here, girl. I swear to god, Debbie, if a bunch of rats come in here and start building your throne, I’m leaving New York. Hey, Debbie, I’m gonna need you to put a collar on Satan and take him back to hell. Can you do that for me? Can you do that, Debbie K. Hole?
Debbie: Oh, and I’m back. That was a little fun, I’m not gonna lie. In conclusion, witches are the worst. Say no to Hocus Pocus, and we gotta go.
Michael Che: Where are you going?
Stacey: We got tickets to wicket.
Michael Che: Debbie Hole and Stacey Bussy, everyone.