Weekend Update Christopher Columbus statue

Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set. There’s a picture of statue of Christopher Columbus at right top corner.]

Michael Che: The New York City Commission on Monuments has decided that statues of controversial historical figures such as Christopher Columbus will not be torn down because it’s just not what we care about this week.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of GM logo at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: General motors announced that it’s making a line of self driving cars that has no steering wheel, no gas or break pedals, no windows, and it’s a coffin.

[Picture changes to a toilet bowl.]

Kohler has introduced a new toilet that can be flushed by voice command. So, get ready to hear your co-worker in the next stall yelling, “Flush! Please, flush. For the love of god, flush!”

[Cut to Michael Che]

Michael Che: [looking at Colin Jost] It was just one time.