Student… Pete Davidson
Jay Pharoah[Starts with clip of snowstorm news.] [Cut to a TV in school’s cafeteria]
School announcer: Attention students in Ridgement School district. The following schools are closed today. [Cut to clips of empty school] St. Joseph hill and North Academy. Students should not come to school. I repeat, you must stay at home because this snow day, this snow day is for teachers![the music video starts]
Bobby: Ha-ha-ha-ha.[rapping] That’s right it’s a teacher’s snow day
no kids, no books, full pay
Cecily: You think we’re home grading papers
but we using em’ to smoke them our favorites
Leslie: Kids want a day off? Get in line
behind overwork teachers get drunk on wine
Sasheer: Teacher’s lounge is a nasty club
Kyle: And the only extra credit is a rub and tug[Teachers are partying in teacher’s lounge]
Kenan: Teachers snow day
Cecily: Zero F’s given this is blizzard living
Kate: This ain’t the breakfast club, we drill to die[Cut to a student walking in the halls of school alone]
Bobby: Here’s my hall pass sucker!
Jay: We got the school on lock
we do a lots of chalk
and when I’m in the R-room
I don’t wear a smock
Sasheer: Mr. K and Mrs. P are having 50 shades sex
Student: Just like I learned in my biology text.
Kyle: Mr. Reed, I’m doctor death
then I’m up in my chem lab, cooking meth.
Student: Came to school by mistake
saw drugs and jugs
thought my teachers were bitches
but they’re hardcore thugs
Bobby: Teachers snow day! Coz our dreams are dead, yo!
Aidy: The only PTA here is my pretty toy ass
Student: Not gonna lie, this is awesome![Cut to teachers looking out the window]
Jay: Oh, damn! It’s principal Hefernin
Cecily: I’ve never seen him at a snow day.
Leslie: He’s been here like, 65 years.[Cut to principal in his car nodding his head to the beat]
Principal: This was my damn day off it wasn’t part of the plan
but when I roll up to school in my minivan
there’s something all these motherf* better understand
the dress code is out, I’m not wearing pants
Bobby: Understand that you can chuck your bleep
he got that something too, teachers lining up like team
Principal: I got PA announcement for every class
except, the P is for Pu* and A is for ass
Leslie: What do I teach? I don’t even remember
hands off in the spring a wake of September
Jay: We reverse hibernate, we asleep on summer
Kyle: So, when it’s blizzard time, we in a promp [bleep]
Cecily: This is our choice, teachers move the earth!
Kenan: We on that sweet dessert
Jay: We teach the children, we teach them well
Kate: But when it snows outside, they can go to hell.
Bobby: Yeah! Teachers snow day! 2k15. Forever!
Leslie: Kids trust us. We need this more than you!
Kenan: Teacher’s snow day. Shut it down![Cut to all the teachers passed out in the teacher’s lounge.] [Cut to the student taking their pictures]
Student: Well, I’m definitely passing Chemistry now.