Bailey Gismert… Heidi Gardner[Starts with Michael Che in his set.]
Michael Che: Well, it’s May, which means it’s time for Summer Blockbusters. Here to talk about the movie she’s most looking forward to is teen movie critic and star of her own YouTube channel “Bailey At The Movies”, please welcome Bailey Gismert.[Bailey Gismert slides in. She looks very shy.] [cheers and applause]
Bailey Gismert: What’s up?
Michael Che: So, I saw in our channel, you got a preview of a lot of summer movies.
Bailey Gismert: [blushing] So, you watched me? Okay, awkward. Sorry. I mean, yeah. So, I get to see movies early coz I guess movie people think I’m like, an influencer or whatever. I don’t know. I can’t say it.
Michael Che: Well, you know, I’m really excited for the new Jurassic Park movie. What did you think of that one?
Bailey Gismert: Um, I guess I thought the new Jurassic Park was fake. Okay, so, all of a sudden dinosaurs are like, back? That would never happen. Like, Jurassic Park, I see you. You’re fake.
Michael Che: Well, it’s science fiction, Bailey.
Bailey Gismert: Okay. So, I guess I’ll just shut up.
Michael Che: No, no. Bailey. Come on, let’s talk about another movie you saw.
Bailey Gismert: Okay, well, I saw “Avengers Infinity War” and it was fake too. But, I mean, it was also like, pretty tight. Like, for being super fake it was like, pretty real.
Michael Che: Okay. Well, who was your favorite avengers character?
Bailey Gismert: I guess, Thanos was pretty cool.
Michael Che: Really? You mean, like the bad guy?
Bailey Gismert: Or he’s just like, different.
Michael Che: Wait, do you like Thanos?
Bailey Gismert: [blushing] Stop. Stop. Why? Do you know him? [Michael Che smiles] Don’t! Do not text him. Don’t! Don’t Michael, don’t. I’m serious. Don’t text him.
Michael Che: I’m not going to text Thanos.
Bailey Gismert: Okay, good. Because I don’t like Thanos. Like, he’s cool. He’s strong. He’s got that. I don’t care. I just like, I like superheroes coz I’m in the guy stuff. Coz I have brothers. So, I’m sorry I don’t like salads. I like burgers and wings. And I don’t like dolphins. I like sharks. Okay? That’s me. And if you like– If you text Thanos, it’s gonna be like, so bad.
Michael Che: I didn’t mean to get you worked up.
Bailey Gismert: [cracking voice] I’m not… [slowly covers her tears with her hair.] … not worked up. I just have like, so much on my plate. And I’m not trying to say that you guys don’t work hard. Coz I know on Saturdays, you do. But I can’t just check out. [sobbing] I have my finals and field day. And I’m dog sitting for my pastor. I think they didn’t pick my prom theme which was “Moulon Rouge” but it is not too sexual, it’s French.
Michael Che: Well, look, Bailey, you did a great job and I hope you have a great summer.
Bailey Gismert: Okay, Michael Che [speaks in French language]. Oh, my god. Okay. So, if you’re obsessed with me like he is, [pointing at Michael Che] like and subscribe below.
Michael Che: Bailey, this isn’t YouTube. This is live TV.
Bailey Gismert: Like the playoff? Yeah, I watch sports.
Michael Che: Bailey Gismert, everybody.
Bailey Gismert: Different heroes can be women. It doesn’t make sense.