Phillip… Michael Longfellow[Starts with people talking in a barber shop]
Kenan: Man, oh, man, I still cannot believe that Kanye messed up all that money.
Troy: How you going to lose $2 billion in a day? It’s like he was using a paper shredder.
Punkie: Mmhmm, ’cause it couldn’t be me.
Ego: I know, right? Then he did all them damn interviews, making things worse and worse.
Troy: You ain’t got to say everything that you’re thinking all the damn time.
Kenan: Exactly, man. He lost me when he put on that White Lives Matter shirt.
Ego: Right, right, or when he said that message about George Floyd.
Phillip: [he’s the only white guy in the barber shop] Exactly. And his comments about Jewish people. I mean, way off the mark.[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]
Troy: I ain’t gonna lie. I was listening to “College Dropout” earlier today in the car. Still sound good to me.
Devon: Word. It’s going to be hard for me to enjoy listening to Kanye for a while.
Phillip: Same. That’s why I set all my Yeezys on fire. I mean, they’re only sneakers, right?[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]
Punkie: Yeah. But, um, that Kyrie Irving stuff is a trip, right? I mean, are they going to let him play again, or what?
Ego: I heard they have him like a list of things he’s got to do before they let him back on the team.
Troy: I stopped paying attention to that boy when he said the world was flat.
Phillip: Or when he refused to take the vaccine.[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]
I mean, I can understand an initial skepticism, but if the president of the United States says it’s safe…[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]
Ego: I’m still mad that my girl Stacey Abram’s loss.
Punkie: Thank you! Like how did she lose?! I mean, but Herschel Walker, he gets a runoff? I mean, what is going on in Georgia?
Phillip: It’s the Bible Belt, and this country will never progress until we separate God and politics.[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]
Kenan: Aye, y’all heard your man got robbed last night?
Troy: Yeah. I heard they took a $20,000 chain off his neck, too.
Phillip: Now who would spend that much money on a necklace?[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]
Troy: Man, you know what I finally watched? That Dahmer thing they had on Netflix.
Phillip: Ohhh! That was so good, right? I mean, not—[Everyone else keep quiet and goes back to trimming hair]
Not good as in he’s good. Just I thought it provided some needed insights on some…
Ego: I wish they made more showsthat everybody could enjoy.
Troy: Ooh, like “Atlanta.” They’re killing it this season.
Kenan: Yeah, or “Abbott Elementary.”
Phillip: Or “Yellowstone.”
Kenan: Yellow what?
Phillip: “Yellowstone.” It’s like the most streamed show in the world.
Kenan: Oh, is that right?[Phillip’s watch beeping]
Phillip: Oh! Oh, I guess it’s already 6:05. Well, that’s it for my shift. Um, Troy, thank you, again, for letting me work in your barbershop.
Troy: It’s all good, Phillip. Don’t worry about a thing.
Phillip: Hopefully, tomorrow, I’ll get a customer.
Troy: Yeah, maybe, you know.
Phillip: I hope I didn’t say anything that was too offensive to anybody.
Troy: No! No, no, no. You all good, Phillip, man. Thank you so much and I will see you bright and early.
Phillip: Okay, alright. Uh, alright, well, you guys take care. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Troy: Okay. Bye bye.
Ego: Okay, Phillip.
All: Bye bye.[Phillip walks out and Troy closes the door]
Troy: He’s the police, ain’t he?
Ego: Oh, for sure.
Punkie: That’s right. I was going to say a cannibal.