Melissa Villaseñor
Heidi Gardner
Mikey Day
Jason… Chance the Rapper
[Starts with four friends walking in the house]
Melissa: I’m starving.
Heidi: Yeah, I need a snack, pronto.
Mikey: Yeah, got anything good to eat Jason?
Jason: I don’t know, let’s find out.
[Cut to Jason opens the cupboars]
Let’s see. We’ve got chips, popcorn, cookies, fruit snacks.
[Cut to Heidi]
Heidi: Awesome!
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: Chocolate snaps, crispy cakes, nut Fudgies.
[Cut to Melissa]
Melissa: Snack-a-licious!
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: Pretzel Rods, Cheddar Chunkies.
[Cut to Heidi]
Heidi: Any of those sound awesome.
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: Gummy Tummies, Chocko Rings.
[Cut to Mikey]
Mikey: That’s a lot of snacks.
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: Corn Nuggets, cheese Balls.
[Cut to Mikey]
Mikey: Maybe too many snacks.
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: We’ve got Dingle Doodles, Candy Beans.
[Cut to Heidi]
Heidi: Your parents buy you all that?
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: Yep. Fig twisties, Banana ramas.
[Cut to Melissa]
Melissa: I thought you parents were like super strict?
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: They used to be. Not anymore.
[Cut to Heidi]
Heidi: Don’t they make you go to church like twice a day?
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: Not anymore. We’ve got lemon sours, lime sours, cereal bars.
[Cut to Mikey]
Mikey: Where are your parents?
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: On vacation. Roasty toasties.
[Cut to Mikey]
Mikey: Without you?
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: Yep. S’mores snacks, Wingo Dingoes? [Cut to Mikey looking around suspiciously] Prune Poppers, Mini Miffins, Pizza pieces, Yummy Crunchers, Razzie Tassies, Tatsy Terbies. [Cut to family photo of Jason. He has scratched out his parents’ faces.] Corn Crispies, Cocoa anybodies, Munch Mix. [Cut to Mikey sees the floor with the blood mark and a brush that cleaned it] Corn Crispies. Cocoa Anobodies. Rough and Puffies.
[Cut to Heidi]
Heidi: Smells kind of weird in here, right?
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: No. Crunchy Cake, Nom Noms.
[Cut to Melissa]
Melissa: It’s coming from the fridge.
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: No, it’s not! [Cut to Heidi looks at the fridge. Jason has taped around the fridge in a way that it can’t be opened.] Wacky tacky tangoes.
Heidi: Why is there duct tape around your fridge door, Jason?
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: Mango Munchers. Cherry Berry bars.
[Cut to Mikey]
Mikey: What’s in the fridge, Jason?
[Cut to Jason]
Jason: Nobody is.
[Cut to Mikey]
Mikey: What do you mean, “Nobody?’
[Cut to Heidi]
Heidi: What did you do to your parents?
[Cut to Jason turns around towards his friends]
Jason: Tasty Toaster Tarts.
[Cut to everybody getting excited]
Everybody: Awesome! [Everybody start celebrating]
Announcer: Tasty Toaster Tarts are the treats kids crave.
[Cut to Mikey]
Mikey: Jason’s house is the best.
[Cut to Heidi]
Heidi: Got anything to drink?
[Heidi walks to the fridge to get a drink]
Jason: No!
[Cut to a clip of Tasty Toaster Tarts outro video]
Announcer: Tasty Toaster Tarts. Keeps kids happy.