Ego Nwodim
John Mulaney
Terence Washington… Kenan Thompson
Kyle Mooney
Mikey Day
Beck Bennett
[Starts with pictures of black figures and role models]
[There’s written ‘Forgotten Figures of Black History.’]
[Cut to Ego Nwodim in her set]
TerenceEgo Nwodim: The year was nineteenfortyseven. Baseball was America’s favorite past time. And thanks to one man, it had finally become integrated. Jackie Robinson’s courage on and off the field made a symbol of hope for black America. But sadly, not everyone was happy.
[Cut to a video clip of Jackie Robinson running in the baseball field]
Anchor: And Robinson’s heading the third base. But wait, I think he’s gonna try for home.]
[Cut to the audience cheering for Jackie Robinson. Everyone is white except one black man, Terence Washington. He is sitting with his son.]
John: Common, Jackie, you can do it.
Terence: No, no! He ain’t gonna make it.
Anchor: Here comes the throw and he is–
Terence: Out!
Anchor: Safe!
John: There you go, Jackie. That’s the way to get him.
Kyle: Hey, how about three cheers for Jackie?
All: Hurray!
Terence: Psst! Boo!
[Cut back to Ego Nwodim]
TerenceEgo Nwodim: Today on ‘Forgotten Figures of Black History,’ we take a look back at Terence Washington, the first black man to ‘boo’ Jackie Robinson at a baseball game.
[Cut to the audience]
John: Son, did you see the way Jackie flew from second to home? That was–
Terence: Selfish was what it was. Baseball ain’t about hot-dogging. Like the saying goes, slow and steady wins the baseball game.
Mikey: I don’t think that’s the saying at all.
John: What’s with this guy? How could he not like Jackie Robinson?
Kyle: He must be from out of town.
[Cut back to Ego Nwodim]
TerenceEgo Nwodim: Terence Washington was not from out of town. He grew up in Brooklyn, New York and was a life long Dodgers fan up until Jackie Robinson joined the team in nineteenforgyseven. Terence was so upset by Robinson’s arrival, he’d show up to dodgers games and root for the other team.
[Cut to the audience]
Beck: I don’t know. I still say this Robinson guy is all hype.
Terence: Oh, thank you. He gets it.
John: Are you crazy? He’s the best ball player I’ve ever seen.
Terence: What?
Beck: Get out of here.
Kyle: I don’t know about that. What about Joe DiMaggio?
Beck: Or Ted Williams?
Terence: Or Terence Washington.
Mikey: What about the Stan ‘the man’ Musial?
Terence: Or Terence ‘the enlarged heart’ Washington.
John: Wait, who the heck is Terence Washington?
Terence: Hah! You hear this? This chump talking about baseball but he don’t even know Terence ‘the heart murmurs’ Washington.
Beck: I gotta be honest. I don’t know that is either.
Kyle: Is his name ‘the enlarged heart?’ Or ‘the heart murmur?’
Terence: It’s both. And he’s the greatest hitter in Nigro league’s history. Plus he can run faster than a quart of prune juice through a colon.
[Cut back to Ego Nwodim]
TerenceEgo Nwodim: Terence Washington never actually played baseball. Mostly due to his enlarged heart and many heart murmurs. But the people who knew him best say that he had a personal vendetta against Robinson. Ever since his ex-wife mentioned that Jackie was handsome.
[Cut to the audience]
Anchor: Now batting with the bases rolling, Jackie Robinson.
Terence: Oh, I hate him. He ain’t even handsome.
John: Okay, if Robinson gets a hit, dodgers win.
Terence: He ain’t going to get it. He’s going to mess it up.
Mikey: What are you talking about? He’s hitting four for four.
John: Come on, Jackie, you can do it, man.
Terence: No, you can’t. [standing] Boo!
Kyle: Ay, what the hell are you doing?
John: Hey, would you stop booing? Don’t you want to show your kid that he could be whatever he wants?
Terence: [pointing at the kid] I don’t know this kid.
John: Oh, sorry. I thought you did.
Terence: All I want is to be able to enjoy the game and boo people just like everybody else.
John: Okay. But why does it have to be the one black player?
Beck: Oh, oh, so it’s okay to boo a white guys?
John: Yes.
Mikey: Wow!
John: Okay, forget I said anything. I’m not racist. Boo whoever you want. I don’t care.
Terence: You just don’t get it. All my life, I’ve been hearing ‘no.’ No, I can’t eat him. No, I can’t play baseball or I’ll have a heart attack. No, I can’t make this marriage work. No, I can’t give you a haircut that will look like Jackie Robinson. And now I can’t even ‘boo?’ I’m leaving! Nice to meet you little boy!
Kyle: Hey, wait. Buddy, what if we all ‘boo’ Jackie Robinson? Together?
Terence: You’d do that for me?
Kyle: Yeah.
Beck: Sure, buddy.
Mikey: Come on, guys.
All: [in loud voice] Boo! Boo! Boo!
Anchor: At the pitch. Swing, and a miss. Robinson seemed a little distracted.
Terence: We did it!
John: Yeah, you suck, Jackie.
Beck: Yeah, go back to the Negro leagues where you belong.
Terence: Hey, easy man. That’s way too much. Who this kid?