The Maiden and The Mice

Mina… Gal Gadot

Kyle Mooney

Aidy Bryant

Kate McKinnon

Prince… Beck Bennett

[Starts with Story Book Classics intro]

Male voice: WE now return you to ‘Story Book Classics’ presents, The Maiden and the Mice.

[Cut to Mina getting in a room]

Mina: Oh, no! All is lost.

[Cut to the mice]

Kyle: What’s wrong, Mina?

Aidy: Don’t cry, Mina.

Kate: We love you.

[Cut to all]

Mina: Oh, my good, good mice. My evil stepmother. She stole my gown right before the ball, and the prince is on his way.

[Cut to the mice]

Kyle: Never fear, Mina.

Aidy: You can still go to the ball.

Kate: Because we made you a dress!

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: What? Oh, little mice. You are my best and dearest friends. Where is it?

[Cut to the mice]

Aidy: We will show you.

[Cut to all. The mice pull the divider in front of Mina and starts changing her dress.]

Aidy: Okay. We’ll help you. There we go. A thread is here.

Kyle: That’s the buttons. Perfect.

Aidy: Amazing!

Kate: Incredible.

[The divider is removed. The dress is horrible.]

Kyle: Oh, Mina, it’s perfect.

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: Oh! It’s– whoa!

Kyle: See, speechless!

[Cut to the mice]

Aidy: She loves it.

Kate: You do love it, right princess?

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: Oh, yeah. Of course I do. It’s just a lot.

[Cut to the mice]

Aidy: What does that mean?

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: Oh, no, don’t get me wrong. It’s great. I just– I might take it with me and put it on there when I get there.

[Cut to the mice]

Kate: Why? You’re already wearing it.

Aidy: Princess, if you don’t like it, please, just say so.

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: It’s just not really me. You see, I would never choose this for myself.

[Cut to the mice]

Kyle: Well, we can add more hair balls if you want.

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: Um, maybe.

[Cut to the mice]

Kate: Is it a maybe? Or is it a no?

[Cut to all]

Mina: Okay. If I’m being completely honest…

Kyle: Oh, sure, start now.

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: Well, it’s made of rags and bags and chunks of dust.

[Cut to the mice]

Aidy: Yeah. We’re working on a budget of zero dollars.

Kyle: And also, we’re mice. It’s a miracle we made anything.

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: I’m sorry. I just can’t wear this to the ball.

[Cut to the mice]

Kate: Okay. Okay, cool. Well, I wish we knew that before we spent nine hours on it.

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: Ah! I didn’t know you were definitely working on it. I mean, I heard you mention it but I didn’t realize it was a go.

[Cut to the mice]

Aidy: Yeah. My mom’s doing fine, by the way.

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: I’m sorry. I could maybe wear it to the afterparty.

[Cut to the mice]

Aidy: Look, we want you to wear it because you want to wear it, not because you’re humoring us.

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: Oh, guys. Come on. Look at this. There’s big holes in it and the stitches are uneven.

[Cut to the mice]

Kyle: Of course the stitches are uneven. Once again, we’re mice.

Aidy: Yes. The button is the size of my whole body.

Kate: We only live like, a year. We basically gave you our 20s.

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: And I appreciate it. But this is not an evening gown.

[Cut to the mice]

Kate: What do you know? You’re poor.

Aidy: Yeah. You’re poor. We live in a castle. We’re rich.

[Cut to Mina]

Mina: Stop calling me poor.

[Cut to the mice]

Kyle: You’re poor. Poor!

Mice: The prince!

[The prince walks in]

Prince: Mina, you look… wow.

Mina: Oh, my prince. I know. It’s terrible. All I have is a dress made by mice.

Prince: You mean… [Prince bows to the mice] You made this beautiful thing?

Aidy: Well, yes.

Prince: Would you accompany me to the ball?

Aidy: Oh, yes.

Mina: What? What about me?

Prince: Oh, sorry. I don’t date poor chicks. It gets messy real fast.

[The End]