Colin Jost[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]
Colin Jost: Well, if you’ve been watching the Trump rallies, you’ve probably noticed Trump dancing to the village people. If you haven’t, let’s take a look.[Cut to a video clip of Donald Trump dancing during his rally.] [Cut back to Colin Jost]
Yeah, it’s wonderful. So, here now with a message in response to Donald Trump are the village people.[music playing] [Village people walk in to the set dancing]
Kenan: [singing] Stop it, yeah I’m talking to you
I said stop it, this is long over due
because we never said that we support you
you must pay us to use our songs
Donald, because of all your lies
we’re playing hardball and we got a surprise
he’s a lawyer who you might recognize
he is Alan Dershowitz
He’s gonna send you a cease and desist
get ready for a cease and desist
Alan knows where you been, yeah he knows what you’ve seen
on that island with Epstein
Colin Jost: Hey, hey, hey. [music stops] Hold on. You can’t just say that.
Kenan: What? I mean, why? It’s just music, man. We’ll just sing it.
Colin Jost: No, because that’s a really serious allegation. Also, isn’t Alan Dershowitzz for Trump?
Kenan: Oh, he flipped.
Colin Jost: And do all of you feel the sam way about this? I mean you’re all from different walks of life, right?
Kenan: I mean it’s kind of complicated. You see…[music playing] [singing] The soldier said that you let him down
and the gay man said you don’t want him around
and the native is sick with covid-Colin Jost9
only the construction workers still believes [the construction worker with them is wearing a MAGA t-shirt]
Although he is only one man
he must comply with all of our demands
so we voted and came up with a plan,
we will strike at any moment
I promise you we will shave Ivanka’s head
you’re damn right we’re gonna shave Ivanka’s head
we’ll set up a fake salon, yeah it won’t be that hard
and she’ll look like a leprechaun
Colin Jost: Hey! Hey! Stop. Wait. You’re saying you’re going to shave Ivanka’s head? You can’t just say that. That’s gotta be a felony.
Kenan: Hey, man. Everything is legal if you sing it in a song.
Colin Jost: That’s not true. Village People everyone.
Michael Che: For Weekend Update, I’m Michael Che.
Colin Jost: I’m Colin Jost. Goodnight.