Oscar… David Harbour
Therapist… Ego Nwodim
News Reporter… Bowen Yang
Elmo… Melissa Villaseñor[Starts with a video footage of New York city] [Cut to Chris Redd and Oscar]
Chris Redd: Damn, that smells straight like ass.[Oscar opens a trash can]
Oscar: I don’t know. I kind of like it.
Chris Redd: Yeah? You like trash so much why don’t you live in it?
Oscar: Why don’t you bite me?
Oscar: Damn, Oscar, why you such a grouch, man?[Cut to narrative video]
Announcer: From the studio that brought you “Joker” and the twisted mind at Sesame Workshop, comes the next gritty antihero origin story.[Cut to Therapist]
Therapist: Why do you think you’re always in such a bad mood?[Cut to Oscar]
Oscar: That ain’t me. Things are getting worse out there.[Cut to TV news]
News Reporter: Once friendly neighborhood of “Sesame Street” has now become a haven of crime and corruption. I’m guy smiley, ABCDEFG news.[Cut to Oscar walking on the street]
Oscar: Hookers and pimps on every corner.[Cut to Kenan Thompson and Lady]
Kenan Thompson: Now, look, prairie dog, you want a snuffy’s ho’s. Okay? And snuffy’s ho’s earn.
Lady: I’m sorry, daddy.
Kenan Thompson: Bitch, you better shut your damn mouth for good.[Cut to Oscar watching]
Oscar: People are getting killed over nothing.[Cut to an alley where where people getting robbed]
Robber: Give me the ducky.
Alex Moffat: Ernie! Give it to him!
Ernie: Hell no, bitch![The robber stabs Ernie]
Alex Moffat: No! Ah![Cut to Therapist]
Therapist: How does that make you feel?[Cut to Oscar]
Oscar: Grouchy.[Cut to video clips of Oscar acting like Joker]
When everyone calls you trash, and everyone treats you like trash, why don’t you just become trash?
Announcer: Variety asks, Did we need a dark take on “Oscar the Grouch?” “No,” says the New York Times. The beloved residents are obsessing on streets like you’ve never seen before.[Cut to Heidi Gardner dressed as a clown]
Heidi Gardner: Do you want to see this big bird dance?[Cut to Beck Bennett dressed as a vampire]
Beck Bennett: Three! Three pearls for me.[Cut to a police arresting Melissa Villaseñor]
Elmo: I’m innocent. I’m not going to sell no crack. You only arrest Elmo because Elmo Mexican!
Oscar: Sunny Day.
Announcer: From director, Todd Phillips.
Oscar: Sweeping the clouds away.
Announcer: And the writer of “P is for Potty.”
Oscar: Oh my way to where the air is sweet
Can you tell me how to get
Oscar: Would you do me one favor? Could you call me the grouch?
Announcer: Brought to you by the letter R.