Digital Exclusive- Rom-Com Trailer

Nick… Alex Moffat

[Starts with a short clip of New York city streets.]

Male voice: Meet Nick.

[Cut to Nick drinking coffee at home.]

Nick: And I’m late. Great!

Male voice: He hasn’t had the time to find the one until–

[Cut to Nick watching news.]

News reporter: New Yorkers are ordered to shelter in place until further notice.

Donald Trump: You know what? Staying at home leads to death also.

Nick: Great!

[Cut to Nick cleaning his apartment.]

Male voice: Fate intervened.

Nick: [on the phone] Well, my apartment’s clean again.

Bowen: Man, being single during quarantine sucks!

Nick: Tell me about it.

Bowen: I guess dating isn’t considered ‘essential.’ Alright, gotta run.

[Nick drops his cup and spills his drink]

Nick: Oh, dammit!

Male voice: Just when you think you’ll never find love, love finds you.

[someone whistles. Nick looks back. A guy is standing at the door. He’s just another version of him.]

Nick: Oh, hello. I’m Nick.

Guy: I know. I’ve seen you around.

Nick: And um– you like what you see?

Guy: Daddy likey. Daddy likey a mucho.

Male voice: Sometimes, all it takes is a global pandemic for a guy to finally fall in love.

[Cut to Nick and the guy in bed.]

Guy: Round two?

[Cut to Nick talking to Bowen on a videocall]

Nick: I’ve met someone. I don’t know, they’re pretty perfect. We have the same likes, dislikes, favorite foods.

Bowen: Wow!

Nick: I mean, same body, brain, soul, everything.

Bowen: Wait, what?

Nick: Gotta go.[hangs up]

Bowen: Oh, no.

Male voice: But sometimes, finding the one can get a little messy.

[Cut to Nick and the guy at the apartment. The guy is grabbing a beer.]

Nick: Oh, you’re having another one?

Guy: Yeah. Is there a problem?

Nick: No. It’s just noon.

Guy: Here we go.

[They start having an argument]

Male voice: Critics are calling it, “The best coronavirus rom-com of all time,” “The world’s first rom-cov,” “So relatable, it’s depressing.”

Guy: Oh, give me a break..

Nick: Don’t you– [Points at the guy, hurts his hand.] Ah! I think I have a carpal tunnel.

Guy: What?

Nick: I have to quarantine myself from you.

Guy: What? No.

[Nick walks into his room sobbing. He shuts the door and cries behind it.]

Guy: [knocking the door] Nick, let me in.

Nick: No, Nick. I don’t want to give this to you.

Guy: That’s not how carpal tunnel works. I–

Nick: You what?

Guy: I love you. Me. I love me.

Nick: [smiling] Say it again?

Guy: I love me.

Nick: I love me too.

[Nick opens the door.]

Guy: Daddy lovey amucho.

Male voice: Coming this Valentine’s Day. Wait, what month is it? May? Anyway, coming whenever, “Be My Quaran-tine?” Nice.

[Cut to Nick on his couch]

Nick: Okay, what do you want to watch?

Guy: You know. One, two, three.

Both: House Hunters International.

God is a Boob Man Trailer

Beth… Vanessa Bayer

Taran Killam

Jon Rudnitsky

Sasheer Zamata

Schmul… Kyle Mooney

Judge… Kenan Thompson

Cecily Strong

Governor… Bobby Moynihan

[Starting of a movie trailer]

Male voice: Beth was a small town baker without a care.

[Taran walks in Beth’s bakery[

Taran: Hi there. I’d like to order a wedding cake.

Beth: Of course. Where is the lucky bride?

[Taran looks around]

Taran: He is right here.

[Jon walks to Taran and holds him]

Male voice: Until her fate was tested.

Taran: Now, make the cake.

Male voice: They wanted her to spit in the face of god.

[Beth is making the cake while Taran and Jon are watching]

Taran: I said make the cake.

Beth: I can’t do it.

Male voice: From the makers of God on the Run and Angel in Denim: The Kim Davis Story.

[Cut to Beth and Sasheer behind their bakery.]

Sasheer: What are you thinking? Gays are the most powerful force in America.

Male voice: A story of liberal elites run wild.

Taran: You’ll be hearing from our Jewish lawyer.

[Cut to Beth called in for the case]

Schmul : My name is Schmul from the SOU. You are in lot of trouble, Beth.

Beth: What do you people want from me?

Schmul : My clients just need you to say three simple words.

Taran: [counting the words in his fingers] God is gay.

Beth: But he is not gay. God is as straight as they come.

Schmul : Then I guess we’ll be seeing you in court.

[Cut to Beth walking to the court. The song ‘Fight Song’ by Rachel Platten is playing.]

Beth: Gays are trying to force their agenda. They’re even teaching it in school.

Male voice: Only she has the courage to say.

Beth: [To Sasheer] They say we’re bigot but Christians are the most oppressed group in this country.

Sasheer: Maybe!

Beth: But I’m gonna prove once and for all that god is straight.

[talking in court] If god is gay then why aren’t there any gay priests?

Judge: Miss Walsh, you are on thin ice. You know god is gay. Just admit it!

Beth: No.

Male voice: She needed an aliy.

[Cut to governor’s meeting]

Cecily: Governor, we are the poorest state in the country, second in obesity, third in teen pregnancy. We have to do something.

[Beth walks in the meeting]

Governor: Well, hold that thought. [To Beth] What’s wrong ma’am?

Beth: I wanna deny basic goods and services to gay people.

Governor: [looks around] Everybody out. This is the priority now.

[Cut to the court]

Judge: Last chance miss Walsh. Let’s hear it.

[Beth stands]

Beth: God… is… [Taran and Jon are watching her] a boob man!

[everybody in the court cheer for her]

Male voice: God is a Boob Man. Rated R for graphic gay sexual content.