Joe Buck… James Austin Johnson
Troy Aikman… Owen Wilson
Erin Andrews… Heidi Gardner
[Starts with Fox NFL intro]
Joe Buck: Welcome back to Dallas where the starting of the second half, it’s Cowboys 10 and Carolina 14. And Troy, this capacity crowd has been treated to a great one.
Troy Aikman: For they sure have. Remember, with mic’ed up Dallas running back, Ezekiel Elliott, you’ll be hearing that as soon as he says something we can put on TV.
Joe Buck: Sounds great. But before the second half begins, Thursday night’s just got a whole lot more interesting. “Crazy House”, because home is where the cray-cray stay, 9:30,8:30 Central.. It sounds like it’s gonna be pretty crazy.
Troy Aikman: You know what? You know what show I really like? Dwight Schrute. Remember that one?
Joe Buck: Yes. I think you mean “The Office”.
Troy Aikman: Yes, yes. That’s it. That was a good one. That Dwight guy. I just never knew what he was going to do. Crazy.
Joe Buck: The Cowboys kickoff to start the half, recepted by Erickson, and he stopped at 26.
Troy Aikman: Oh no. Oh-oh! Looks like we got a man down. Is that Will? Oh gosh. It’s Williams.
Joe Buck: Indeed. He’s holding his leg. Well, while we have a moment, Thursday’s about to get a whole lot crazier because its double the crazy, Crazy House. Two back to back episodes of Fox’s new fall family hit. Crazy house is the story of McKenna, Mckayla and Suave. Three influencers who have inherited the craziest house in Chicago. Home is where the cray-cray stay, slay, 9:30,8:30 Central.
Troy Aikman: Hey, quick question. How is Suave spelled? Is it written fanatically or is it some kind of weird Spanish symbol?
Joe Buck: You know what Troy? Let’s not guess. Let’s go down to Erin Andrews, who’s on the sidelines. Erin.
[Erin Andrews is with the sideline players]
Erin Andrews: Guys, Derek Williams is still down. No word yet but I’ll have the report as soon as we hear.
fJoe Buck: Thanks Erin. [listening to his headset] Oh, I’m just getting this. Has this ever happened to you? You and your influencer friends are in the coolest road trip ever. As you record a TikTok in every national park when suddenly you get a letter from extensive billionaire, Theodore Crazy.
Troy Aikman: Wait. So, they’re not crazy. The house is owned by a guy named Crazy?
Joe Buck: Yea, apparently so. Yes. Now, McKenna, McKayla and Suave are the new lords and ladies of Crazy House. Crazy House, you know we had to ‘did it on them’.
Troy Aikman: I don’t think that’s how you say that.
Joe Buck: I just read what they gave me. Erin, we’d love to get an update on that injury.
Troy Aikman: Hold on. Did I see that one in the Crazy House folks is a puppet?
Joe Buck: Oh, I suppose so.
Troy Aikman: Now, who do you think it probably is? Suave, right?
Joe Buck: Well, let’s not guess. Let’s not guess. They’re taking a lot of time to get Williams update. Phil? [listening to his headset] Oh, okay. Thursday isn’t ready for this flex. [Cut to Crazy House commercial. There are two girls and a red puppet with white horns in the commercial.] Watch what happens when three friends inherit the house of their dreams with one catch – they must use it to fight for social justice. It’s Crazy House. This week, McKenna, McKayla the monster and Suave are joined by special guest, DaBaby. Crazy House. It’s a vibe.
Troy Aikman: Okay now, DaBaby? What did he do? He did something, right? Did he have to quit basketball because he’s afraid of the vaccine?
Joe Buck: Actually, I think DaBaby is in the music industry.
Troy Aikman: Oh, okay. But wait, there was a movie where a baby’s wearing a suit. Is that him? I think it’s called “Boss Bitch” or– Is that?
Joe Buck: Troy, please. Let’s not guess. Oh! Thank goodness. Looks like Erin has a news for us.
[Cut to Erin Andrews]
Erin Andrews: Actually, I don’t. I just had a question about Crazy House. Did I just see Stacey Abrams with the monster puppet?
Joe Buck: Yeah, I think so.
Troy Aikman: Okay, she’s like the Dwight Schrute of the show?
Erin Andrews: And how are they fighting for social justice using the million dollar house?
Joe Buck: It says here, Theodore Crazy gives them points.
Troy Aikman: What points? Like, a reality show. So, you can get 10 points if you march for Black Lives Matter?
Joe Buck: Troy, once again, let’s not guess. Instead, let’s take a break. And we’ll be back with more Dallas Carolina here at Fox.
Erin Andrews: Wait, McKayla is the monster puppet?