Xandar… Taran Killam
Dutch… Bobby Moynihan
Evelyn… Cecily Strong
Dante… Jay Pharoah
Mevis… Taraji P. Henson
[Starts with Connectatron intro]
[Cut to a half shark half dinosaur monster destroying the city. It’s a resemblance of Power Rangers.]
[Cut to Xandar wearing red suit]
Xandar: Oh, no! Zelda used his grow magic of that Shark-a-saur. Now, it’s destroying downtown.
[Cut to Dutch wearing yellow suit]
Dutch: He just crushed my favorite Hogi shop. Let me have him.
[Cut to Evelyn wearing pink suit]
Evelyn: It’s no use. Our ships are so weak against him.
[Cut to Dante wearing blue suit]
Dante: You all thinking what I’m thinking?
[Cut to the Tronners]
Xandar: Tronners, time to connect! Forming head and torso. Evelyn, attach right arm.
Evelyn: Comes up to that.
Xandar: Dante, attach left arm.
Dante: Happy to lend a hand.
Xandar: Dutch, attach right leg.
Dutch: You can lean on me.
Xandar: Mevis, attach left leg.
Mevis: No.
Xandar: Mevis, we need you to form Connectatron.
Mevis: I’m not stopping you.
Xandar: No, you literally are. We can’t move without you.
Dante: Shark-a-saur is attacking.
[Cut to Shark-a-saur attacking one legged Connectatron]
Xandar: Mevis, please! Please help us. Tell us what happened?
Mevis: Ask Dutch.
Dutch: What did I do?
Mevis: Why don’t you tell everybody what happened in the hallway?
Dutch: I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.
Mevis: You bumped me and I spilled kombucha on my jacket.
Xandar: Dutch! Just apologize!
Dutch: Boy! I’m sorry!
Xandar: Okay, great! Attach left leg.
Mevis: Excuse me? Xander! Don’t you shout, coz you know you… hitting this thing.
[Other Tronners are laughing]
Xandar: Baby. please.
Mevis: Oh! So, now I’m baby when Shark-a-saur is winning.
Dante: Shield’s down to 15%. Hurry!
Xandar: Mevis. Please! Attach, we can’t do this without you.
Mevis: Let me control the head.
Xandar: Mevis, the cosmic being entrusted me with the responsibility–
Mevis: I’m not asking the cosmic being. I’m asking you baby! Let me control the head.
Dante: 2%!
Xandar: Okay, fine!
Mevis: Attaching!
[Cut to Shark-a-saur and Connectatron. Connectatron is now standing well.]
[Cut to Xandar. Mevis walks in and takes his chair.]
Alright, it’s on now! Take my rings off to whip your ass!
[Cut to Shark-a-saur and Connectatron. Connectatron beats Shark-a-saur.]
[The end]