Zackry Adams… Adan Driver
Lany… Cecily Strong
Josh… Mikey Day
[Starts with TV program schedule]
Female voice: The PBS learning afternoon. At 3:30, it’s Grammar Train. Followed at 4 by Phonics Bus. But up next, it’s The Science Room.
[Cut to Zackry Adams holding a dummy human skeleton.]
Zackry Adams: Well, this guy’s bad to the bone. Ha-ha. I’m professor Zackry Adams and welcome to Science Room.
[Cut to Science Room video bumper]
[Cut to Zackry Adams with Lany and Josh]
Zackry Adams: First, let’s say Hi-pothesis. Ha-ha-ha. To our junior volunteers. Lany and Josh.
Josh: Hi.
Lany: Hi.
Zackry Adams: Guys, you excited to learn about science?
Josh: Ya, kinda nervous.
Lany: My hears like…
Zackry Adams: Okay. We’ll just take a few calming breaths. Ay, speaking of breathing, today’s topic is air.
Josh: Yes!
Lany: I love air so much.
Zackry Adams: Air is mostly made up of an element. Do you guys know what’s it called?
Lany: Air?
Zackry Adams: Nope. But it starts with an O. Josh?
Josh: Um. oil?
Zackry Adams: Okay, here’s a hint. Oxy…
Lany: Cotton?
Zackry Adams: It’s oxygen. Oxygen is the answer.
Josh: I knew it.
Lany: I was gonna say that.
Zackry Adams: I don’t think you were. Say, do you guys like balloons?
Lany and Josh: Do you guys like balloons?
Zackry Adams: No, I didn’t mean say what I said. Just give me the balloon. [someone hands him a balloon] Now, why does this balloon float?
[the balloons flies away]
Josh: Um, from the string?
Zackry Adams: No, what? It’s from helium. And it works like this. Imagine you’re in a pool.
Josh: Marco.
Lany: Pull off!
Zackry Adams: Guys! Guys! Forget about the pool. No more pool. Let’s just do the experiment. And for those of you doing the experiment along with us at home, make sure a parent or guardian is present because what comes first in the science room?
Lany: Um, the guy?
Zackry Adams: The guy?
Lany: Ya, my older sister said the guy like, always comes first. I don’t know.
Zackry Adams: Oh, my god! No! No! That’s not what that means. The guy does not come first here.
Josh: The girl comes first?
Lany: No, my sister says the girl never comes.
Zackry Adams: It’s safety! Safety comes first. That was an awful conversation we just had. Now, for today’s experiment, we’ll need a balloon. Josh, why don’t you blow one up. [Josh starts blowing a balloon] We also need a sewing needle and some scotch tape.
[Josh falls down and the balloon flies off]
Oh, my god! Josh. He passed out? Are you alright?
Josh: Yeah. What?
Zackry Adams: Alright, can we get another balloon?
[someone passes Zackry Adams a balloon]
Okay, guys, back. Now, look at this balloon. Now, we’re gonna put a piece of scotch tape on it and see what happens if I put something sharp through the scotch tape when I– [Lany and Josh are pulling the scotch tape] Okay, stop messing with this. Put this down. What will happen if I put a needle through the scotch tape through the balloon?
Josh: It will get vaccinated.
Zackry Adams: What? What would normally happen if I stick a needle through the balloon?
Lany: It will scream.
Zackry Adams: Look you stupid, stupid kids. What do balloons do?
Josh: Um, provide a sense of atmosphere?
Zackry Adams: If I stick a needle through an f-ing balloon, it will… what?
Josh: Come first?
[Zackry Adams pokes the balloon with the needle and throws the tape away in rage.]
Zackry Adams: If punctured, balloons will… Starts with a P, ends with a bop.
Lany: It will Bop.
Josh: Yeah, bop.
Zackry Adams: Alright! Go to that video with ducks flying coz I’m about to scream the C word into my shirt in the three, two, one…
[Cut to Science Room video bumper]
[The End]